Strange male friend from the past

It was the 18 months’ duration that made me wonder whether OP was rather enjoying it, M0nica - I find that worrying, but perhaps it shows how easily girls are sucked into grooming.
I would have thought OP at her age would have shown more judgement.

I can understand that you found the attention pleasant at first, but this sounds like a case of 'out of the frying pan, into the fire'. If you continue you may well end up in a more unhappy situation than you are already in.

I just reread OP and this has been going on for 18 months.

18 months? I am sorry but this suggests that OP is rather enjoying it and looking to us for what? Approval? Envy?

Whatever the problems with her marriage any person with even a hint of common sense would have ended this relationship - because this is what it is - as soon as it became clearly sexual and creepy, which was within a month or so of it starting.

The OP's post set off warning bells in my head, I'd drop him like a hot potato, nothing about him sounds right, the fact that he gets cross is a big warning sign.

You deserve better than this man ( any woman does.)
I second Monica’s advice.

No ifs, no buts, just stop all contact immediately, block him on your phone, bar him on any other media and return any post unopened.

To do anything else shows that you rather like the attention and want it to continue.

Then talk to your husband and books ome sessions with relate. The problem in your life is there.

Yep run for the hills! I would have very strong words with your sister and tell her never to give your number to anybody without asking you first.

I'd give him a wide berth if I were you. You may be lacking affection from your OH but I don't think this weirdo has friendship on his mind. Tell him to push off. You don't need him.

Ugh!
Tell him to phone a sex chat line if he wants someone to engage with him on that subject.
£1.50 a minute.

He's just a predatory male who thinks he has found someone vulnerable who he may be able to use.

Sorry kiki2 but another vote to cut contact with him.

This sends up a red flag kiki, sorry. You should tell your sisters that he's become a bit of a sleazebag and they mustn't encourage him. Block or change your number.

You would be better off trying to improve your marriage and this man is not a good escape route.

Your teenage self may have fancied him but your mature self should see sense and back off - he sounds nothing but trouble. No good will come of this.

kiki2. Posted just before your message. Well done for listening to advice but also nice of you to come back and acknowledge the messages. Good luck for your future.

Oh oh! This sounds like an emotional affair (been reading Mumsnet ?). Therefore it is an affair of sorts. I hadn’t thought quite where it was all going until Maw’s post. How would you feel if your DH was behaving like this man, but with another woman? Run for the hills or better still work on your marriage and perhaps get some counselling. Whatever you decide to do with your future I don’t think this man is deserving of you. Block him.

Thanks everybody , it is very clear that you all agree that this isn’t right so I will terminate the contact either telling him why or just simply blocking him out as most of you suggest . He may not contact me again anyway as the last exchange was him telling me to leave my husband etc. And I didn’t reply to that .
And yes I do need to have strong words with my sister

I'd tell him to naff off-----but that's me.

I know all about feeling lonely but agree with others, walk away from this NOW. You may like having the male attention but you are on a dangerous path.

He is controlling the "relationship" and is grooming you for more than just friendship. You have to tell him you are offended by his constant references to sex and no longer wish to maintain contact. Then have strong words with your sister for giving him your number in the first place.

Walk away now - this guy is creepy and is taking advantage of the fact that you are feeling lonely. Block your number etc. - all the things that will keep him at bay.

You are playing with fire here. This guy is a weirdo.

kiki2 You know what you have to do and that is to block your number from this person now.
Have strong words with your sister about giving out your number ever again.

I wonder if the “Male attention” has tempted you to enjoy this relationship at a (safe) distance?
Hang up, block the number, ignore him if you truly want this to stop, but if you are enjoying it, be aware you are being manipulated, “groomed” even and definitely playing with fire.

I’d tell him you need to end the ‘friendship ‘ and block his number. What if your husband answered the phone?

Just be glad he doesn’t know your address. He doesn’t, does he ??

If nothing else he sounds a bit full on. I’d be very careful. I’d be out of it.

I would be very annoyed if my sister gave my number to someone from 40 years ago, without asking me first. Ridiculous.

Just my opinion - alarm bells are ringing for me. I would keep away from him. The very fact that he isn't interested in you as a person (other than sex wise) and talks about himself all the time, says he would not be a supportive and kind and trustworthy partner, or even a friend.

If you were not in a rather lonely place now, you probably wouldn't be interested in him.

Keep on making efforts to expand your social life locally. How about some volunteering, something that interests you. Do you have a local Meet Up group? If not, you could start one, for your age group. There are some our way for over 50s. www.meetup.com/

Hi MawB no I didn’t say we had met up because it is difficult to sum up 18 months in a single post but nothing happened ! He didn’t try to rape me !

Hi MawB no I haven’t ! I must be naive or something but I can see what you are saying !

Hi grand-tante a gain , i haven’t told my husband because I don’t know where to start and my husband doesn’t like my sister so would be cross with her for giving hîm my phone number in the first place and I think I would agree with that also to be honest