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Setting guidelines for living with my adult daughter and grandson

(57 Posts)
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Coolgran65 Fri 20-Sep-19 00:08:31

LondonGranny I think the crawl space is the attic area, but stand to be corrected. Could be an American term.

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LondonGranny Fri 20-Sep-19 00:02:21

I don't know what a crawl space is...and why does she have to go through it? Is it the only way into the basement? Seems really grim to me unless I've got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

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paddyann Thu 19-Sep-19 23:39:05

is it her space,does she pay rent for it? If you agreed that she had this space then its up to her how she lives in it .As long as its just untidy and she and her child are happy I'd leave well alone /

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Tangerine Thu 19-Sep-19 23:15:15

Perhaps you could try helping her to get her surroundings shipshape as things may have got so bad that she doesn't know where to start.

Then, having got the place nice and clean, ask her to maintain it.

It also depends on how you get on with her generally? If she is a reasonable type of person, perhaps you could try a calm discussion.

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MiniMoon Thu 19-Sep-19 23:11:12

I used to work three twelve hour shifts. They were hard day's/nights. I still managed to do laundry, wash up, walk the dog and cook meals for a husband and two children.
If I hadn't done it, then nobody else would.
There is the crux of the matter. You clean up for her. If she had her own home she would have to do it herself.

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Doodle Thu 19-Sep-19 22:47:26

If I had a two year old and worked 3 12 hour shifts I would be a slob too.

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Sinika Thu 19-Sep-19 22:00:52

My adult daughter has lived with my husband and I since her son was born 2 years ago. Our entire house has been completly remodeled to our needs. Our daughter lives in the finished basement and before she moved in we remodeled the bathroom. She works three 12 hour days, is a really good mom, but the dad is worthless and no help!
My dilemma is that she is a slob! The bathroom is always dirty and she has laundry that has been sitting on top of the dryer for two years ( thankfully she had a separate laundry room in the basement). she leaves dishes in the basement, and she has all her stuff she came with in the crawl space ( which she needs to go through). I like a clean house and I'm constantly cleaning after her and the baby. We watch him three days a week. We need help on how to discuss this with our daughter, but my husband is an avoided and is fearful that she will move out.

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