So I thought I’d venture over from mumsnet and get the other side of the coin.
I have been with my DH for 20 years. I was the only one in the family organising parties etc for the PIL. The last few years I got seriously ill. Long term I don’t know how many years I have left. My PIL response was to be angry at me for being ill and ignore me before major surgery.
They have always disliked that I wasn’t a meek housewife and I earnt more than DH. He is my equal in everything. They believe since being disabled that I should live with them so he doesn’t have to do any woman’s work.
I was in hospital for 2 weeks. They came up twice and didn’t visit me, only went to the shop as he couldn’t be expected to do that as a man. It was more work for him than it helped.
For the previous decade they have only wanted to see us to help, or when they perceive us a failing and think we need rescuing. Now we’ve stopped reinforcing that behaviour and said they only want to see us socially they have distanced themselves. Whilst at the same time making their hate for me clear and acting as though I have stolen their son and restricting his time with them.
I have been encouraging him with continuing to send presents etc. He has asked me if I want to go NC with them he would support it.
Seeing them is so draining. We are meeting up this weekend. If he’s out the room they just glare at me. Or I get mansplained at or talked down to about my career specialism, as I clearly as a woman don’t know what I’m talking about.
Do I write them an email saying I know thy hate me and I’m trying to get this going again, or just leave it they’ll never change?
