Gransnet forums

Relationships

Page 1 of 1
Flip | Customise

How do I get my "mojo" back?

(3 Posts)
Add comment | Report
BradfordLass72 Tue 08-Oct-19 07:45:43

I don't think you have lost your mojo and with an experienced partner who can make you feel physically fulfilled, you'll discover it is only dormant.

If your present partner does not do this for you, why not get some good quality books about love making and have fun practising?

Sex, after all, is only a physical manifestation of a human need, no different to hunger or thirst. But you need to know how best to meet those needs - and over time, that changes.

'Feeling sexy' however, is more than just wanting sex. It's the little frisson of power which comes from knowing the person we desire, desires us.

If you have been celibate for a while, this too needs to be re-ignited by his desire for you made obvious, even if, at first, you don't feel much response. You will eventually when he learns what you need.

If we go back to the food and drink example. If you've been on a very strict diet or fast, you don't break that fast with a huge 4 course meal, do you? You ease back into eating gradually.

So find out what turns him on, tell him what turns you on (nothing at the moment it seems but experiment) and start practising.

Add comment | Report
rosecarmel Mon 07-Oct-19 23:53:34

In your last paragraph you expressed that you would like your partner to have a normal sex life- Could you describe your definition of a normal sex life? Is your partners idea of normal sex similar to yours?

Add comment | Report
Smurf52 Mon 07-Oct-19 23:17:44

If you are easily offended by the subject matter, please don't read on! After my youngest son was born in 1993 my ex and I became celibate by his choice. He had once intimated that he was confused about his sexuality. I used to cry myself to sleep being in my 40s and missing the intimacy but soon got used to the situation. I often said to him I felt like the housekeeper.

Twenty years later when I reached my 60th birthday, I was seduced by the local bar manager who was young enough to be my son. He made me feel like an attractive woman again. My DH found out and that was the end of our 25 year marriage. He couldn't forgive me. There followed a brief period with me trying to keep the marriage together by suggesting "swinging" to maybe get his sex drive back which he thought was a good idea at the time. Unfortunately it only created a deeper wedge between us as he wanted to go to orgies, I wanted more of a one on one experience. While we were waiting for our house to be sold, I lived in the family home and my ex lived away in our caravan.

I lost 6 stone in a short period of time and joined another adult site and found there were no end of fit, young good looking guys who loved the opportunity of having the MILF and cougar experience and made me feel wonderful and sexy again. I tired of that life though and joined a regular dating site where I met my current partner 10 years younger than me. For some reason the swinging although great at the time, killed off my sex drive. Maybe it was coincidental that I was now in my mid 60s, I don't know.

My partner knows about that time in my life, I was honest with him. But I told him 4 years ago when I met him that I was not interested in sex any more. He accepted that even though he would like us to be intimate. The thing is he deserves to have a normal sex life and I want to get my mojo back and be a committed partner. Any ideas?

Page 1 of 1
Flip | Customise