Dont want to upset anyone

This sounds like an ideal solution - good luck for the future.

Maybe your son was really really wanting another pup, so very sneakily gave you one - knowing that he would get it eventually ! .

But seriously, you are doing the right thing - and will still enjoy visits from pup but not have the hassle.

Don't feel guilty sweetpea - I'm sure you're doing the right thing. Perhaps if you'd been able to get a dog 10 or 15 years ago it would have worked out better. Puppy will go to a home where they are better able to cope. We all make mistakes. You'll still be able to enjoy the little dear during visits.

Thankyou for the advice i do think its the right thing to do even though he is drop dead gorgeous at least my sons family will love and enjoy him they live in the counrty so he can have nice long walks .

I have an older friend in her early seventies who shares ownership of a gorgeous dog with her married daughter. It seems to work out very well. They both have days or weekends of custody! The dog has different rules at the two houses - not on sofas at one, never on beds at the other. She knows exactly what’s allowed at each house! She gets super excited going to either house after a stay at the other one! The daughter trained the pup with regular stays with mum. Now a beautifully behaved dog everywhere.

A puppy is an enormous strain on anyone, particularly with the problems you've had. If you'd wanted a dog, perhaps your son could have got you an adult rescue dog instead, where you'd know its personality and needs. For example, he could have chosen one which was very quiet and didn't need a lot of exercise.

It’s not a problem at all, they said they will have him and you will still see him. Puppies are just babies, we all remember what hard work babies were/are but we just forget about dogs! Perhaps when the dog is adult....in about two years!....you can get involved again.b

You have done the right thing. You can pop over to see the dog and they will bring him over. It's always nice to be straight and open from the start.
A couple of years ago, I was asked to do the nursery run for my little grandson. I'm the world's worst, nervous, driver, so I explained my fears to my son and d.i.l. They understood ..... a bit awkward at first, but everything is fine now .

You sound very sensible and reasonable.
A puppy is a great deal of work and commitment.
You are making the right decision.

Unless there is a way for your son and DP to give you more support while the puppy is a pup ?

It sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
You have enough to contend with, and the dog will enjoy having a more suitable environment.

Better to admit that it's not working out than to try and struggle on.