Divorce at 66?

After reading your sad post OP I can only say divorce is better at 66 than 67 or after
Good luck

Go, go GO FOR IT. I did after 30 years of marriage and I really should have done it years before. You know what? I was afraid of the unknown but the unknown has been far far better . I was able to b3 my own person and got my mojo back big time. Life was good, very good after I took the plunge. It’s never too late. If friends take his side then who cares? Leave it all behind and real friends will stick with you anyway. Ones that don’t aren’t worth the effort. You will also make new ones as you forge a new life for yourself. You’ll be glad you did. It sounds like you are living a life akin to being in prison. Good luck and a big hug.

Well done for finding the strength to tell him you are divorcing him! It sounds like he was happy to be the child in the relationship and let you be his mum. I am sure you will be happier. If your mutual friends side with him then they weren’t real friends, although they may be in touch again once the realise your husband is ignoring them. Good luck!

Your post makes me really sad, what I’m struggling to understand is, how you have put up with this for all these years, without being disrespectful it doesn’t seem like a partnership to me, you are worth so much more, you are doing everything yourself, so I really don’t see much difference being on your own, have you ever sat down and discussed why he wants to be so isolated, you should go don’t look back you have nothing to lose and everything to gain,

I’ve private messaged you

Depression of course is so often trotted out as an excuse for all manner of bad behaviour

It is also a very real thing for millions of people, through no fault of their own

Yes I agree with Stella1949 Good luck.

Mutual friends always take sides - I got divorced at 53 and virtually every friend we had, took his side. So I made some new friends . Honestly, life is too short to worry about what other people think. Get thee to a solicitor and start the process of divorce . Good luck .

I have private message you jennifer

I havebeen married for 40 years. My OH accused me of having had an affair 2 years ago, completely untrue, despite my denial and telling him I loved him, he insisted we separate, put the house on the market etc, etc. I was in pieces for about a year, really struggled to come to terms with it. Went to Dr's for help with anxiety attacks. HOWEVER, now in a much better place. We are still in the house, living apart, but under the same roof, haven't yet sold. My friends and family have been an enormous support. Looking back I now see that like the OP, my life was a sad empty shell. I worked hard to put a happy spin on things, but now accept that my OH was a cold withdrawn person. Yes, we had sex, but with little other emotional connection. I am divorcing him for unreasonable behaviour, but......I am the happiest I have ever been, my social life is vibrant, I don't mind going to the cinema etc on my own and have been on holidays with my wonderful daughters and friends. Don't be scared, get out as soon as possible. Life outside is good, I'm lucky that my daughters have been completely supportive, as have my friends and other family. You have nothing to lose, and a whole life to gain. I wish you all the luck in the world.xx

I have been on my own since the age of 49 - as Franbern says, there are advantages to living alone and in my case, as opposed to being married to someone who doesn't love you.
Good luck !!

Living by oneself has very many advantages. Yes, like any way of life, also a few disadvantages. However, when I see relatives and friends, still living with their partners mostly out of habit, but not really sharing their lives with each other, I think I am in a far better situation.
Interesting how other people view break-ups. My (no ex) husband was quite severely disabled - so everyone automatically assumes it was I who broke up our marriage. In fact, he secretly got himself onto a housing association committee and when they were arranging some new flats got one allocated and adapted to suit his needs - and only told me and the adult children he was leaving four weeks before doing so.
At the time I pleaded with him not to go (so scared of being by myself, etc). He went -(thank goodness) but even he managed to convince himself in later years that I had broken up the marriage. He played games with my head and had to be reminded by one of my AC that it was HE who had left me.

I'm widowed and now live on my own (apart from the lodger) with my dog and cat. Yes, Quizqueen, it has very many benefits. There's no need to consider others unless I have guests. I feel like it's a happy second childhood for me most of the time!

It's great to live by yourself, I love it. You can eat what you like, watch what you like on the tv, invite over who you like, decorate how you like, go to bed when you like, have the heating on when you like, do whatever you want. I have never regretted getting divorced other than it makes life a bit difficult for all family occasions like weddings ,christening but they are rare events.

If I was extremely lonely, I would get a dog which would help me get out more and talk to people but I'm happy with the social life I have, and coming home to my cat. I've been on loads of single holidays too and had a great time. It's never too late to find happiness,

Very true, Starblaze, real friends are always there for you.

I was criticised, too, for finding a new partner and being ridiculously happy, madly in love and very content a few months later. Apparently, it was 'too soon' Actually, I wasn't looking, I'd known him for years and he'd always (secretly) liked me - how was that my fault when I had no idea?

Those aren't real friends.

Starblaze, friends don't always see the problem. They can be very judgemental towards the person who leaves or ends the relationship.

It's very unfair, as the one who ends things makes a decision, bravely organises and does the right thing for both people. It takes no effort at all to be rejected or deserted, though!

I can guarantee in a question like this that someone will come along and claim that the person being discussed sounds ill.
Depression of course is so often trotted out as an excuse for all manner of bad behaviour.

I am really struggling to understand why you have put up with this lazy scrounging individual for 33 years.

I know you said you don’t relish being alone but honestly why would you want to remain with someone who clearly has no respect for you?

Mebster why would friends take his side? Go! Find all the happiness. Make new friends.

Let us all know how you get on too!

Yes Hetty58 my sentiments exactly. Go for it Mebster.

Well it's up to them but you may well find people will be more understanding than you think. There will be a lot of changes but hopefully when the dust settles you will both be much happier.

He sounds desperately unhappy, possibly ill.

People stay with abusive and neglectful partners out of habit, duty, tradition and loyalty. They get so worn down, depressed and exhausted by it that they begin to believe that they deserve nothing better. They settle for a sad existence - rather than a life. It's very sad.

Make a change and your life can have true meaning, love and joy. You'll have peace of mind and you'll open that door to new opportunities, hope and love!