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Divorce at 66?

(54 Posts)
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glammanana Sat 02-Nov-19 16:07:51

I must agree with all Tedber has said but you have taken the first brave move by talking about it here on the forum well done you.
First and foremost get your finances into order pensions etc and bank accounts and all mortgage details with the records of what you have paid over the years.
Stop looking after him if you are cooking/washing/cleaning for him he deserves nothing from you.
Get into see a solicitor and take the first half free which they offer to new clients and look forward to starting the rest of your life without this hanger-on you will feel that much better when you are free from him.

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Carenza123 Sat 02-Nov-19 16:04:14

What are you getting out of this relationship? Nothing, as far as I can tell! Even a lodger would be better than what you are getting now; help with the bills and some companionship. Everyone needs to feel loved and respected. He has lost respect and love for you if he isolates himself so much within your relationship. DO explore your options for the future and get good advice. Your future with this man is dismal. Only you can make the necessary changes. Life is too short to be treated like this!

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Tedber Sat 02-Nov-19 15:52:15

mebster. Could you let us know what YOU have been doing for a quarter of a century to change things. Have you just put up and shut up?

No wonder you are fed up but am amazed you haven’t done something about it before now? Maybe you were busy with work and children?

Tbh I doubt you will change the habits of a lifetime. From what you say your husband is nothing more than a free wheeling lodger! Some straight to the point talking ... I think.

Before you decide you should explore your options. For instance you can’t just throw your husband out of the house and you stay there. Can you afford to buy him out? If not then are you prepared to sell the house?

Personally I would be prepared to do anything to stop the situation, starting with telling him you are not going to put up with it a day longer, asking him for money to pay half the bills, not doing his cooking and washing! Maybe too late for a wake up call but who knows?

Good luck

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Mebster Sat 02-Nov-19 15:22:13

I've been married 33 years to a man who hasn't touched me in 25. He literally hasn't kissed or hugged me in a quarter century. He lives in a separate room and does almost nothing other than cutting grass. He only ever worked part time and we made the same amount.
I pay bills, manage household repairs, do all food shopping and cooking (though he often eats out alone). I'm scared to be completely alone but I'm tired of living with someone who won't contribute anything. He comes along on vacations but I have to do all the planning.

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