Marriage

No absolutely not.

I didn't realise how lazy he was/is, and I have been very disappointed in how bad a dad he was/is. He was/is a very good, if distant, father, but an awful dad.

He suffers from "poor me" syndrome and can sulk for England.

I would definitely not do it again.

Yes absolutely.

YES - without any doubts - yes, yes and yes again. 30 happy years of marriage and still going strong!

Of course, no question.

Very definitely, just had our 55th. We were both young and had to learn a lot, but would not change a thing.

Yes! No question.

Yes for husband no 1, happy for 14 years then anguished for the last 3 years. No for (current) husband no 2, utterly miserable for the whole 27 years.

Yes, absolutely. I love him more than life itself and I am amazed that he feels the same way about me. After nearly 52 years each day is precious and I am grateful to still have him.
Marriage takes work and we get on better now than we ever have done.

Fibrogran your post made me want to cry for you.

Yes. We’ve had our ups and downs but now he is leaving me. He doesn’t want to and I don’t want him to go but he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and I am heartbroken. Hopefully we will have a bit more time together yet but we don’t know how long.

Your post Tinyl is heartbreaking so sad for you both

No, wouldn’t wish to repeat 50 years with a self centred, lazy, womaniser. However, he has improved slightly in old age, for obvious reasons ? and isn’t a bad tempered man. I only stuck with him because my first husband was morose. I put up with second as anything is better than living with a humourless, dull man.

Tinyl so sorry.

Tinyl?

Would I? Yes, in a heartbeat, but that doesn’t mean that marriage was not a very steep learning curve for both of us. We have loved each other for 53 years. He is kind, accommodating, even tempered and slightly dull, but he still surprises me from time to time, and he makes me laugh.

Hi TrendyNannie6, this really made me think! The answer is yes. My poor (second) husband has tried so hard to overcome post-traumatic stress from a dreadful road crash years ago when his vehicle killed someone, though he was declared blameless; followed by cardiovascular disease which has not responded well to treatment and has left him registered disabled. But he is much changed from the lively, affectionate man I met almost 18 years ago, is now withdrawn and negative, and can be quite rude when tired and stressed. It may also be the start of vascular dementia. But he's always here, always willing to help, not interested in gambling or womanising or getting into debt, and is devoted to me though he finds it hard to show it. As I am a homebody who loves a quiet life, in many ways he's perfect!

I feel so sad for people who are in unhappy marriages.

I am convinced that having a happy marriage is a lot of luck - certainly in our case. We met, fancied each other rotten and decided to get married which is not a good basis. Luckily lust deepened to love, we had 5 children and so had no option but to get on with it. I feel we grew together where others grew apart through no-one's fault. And, I love him to pieces and have no doubt he does me.

Yes,yes and yes again. Had our fair share of ups and downs but have got through it together. 50 years and 1 month.

Yes absolutely. 55 years for us too come February 27th.

After 50 years, No he's gotten so grumpy and no fun to be with any more. So impatient, I feel trapped.
Used to be fun and made me laugh, at least we have 2 lovely sons and their're great fathers but I should have bailed 15 years ago now feel its too late, who divorces at 67?

mepl1 are there any hidden health problems? My DH got like that over the last 5 or 6 years then earlier this year he had a micro-sleep when driving, no damage done to any other car or driver, but he went to see his GP, who almost instantly diagnosed sleep apnea. He is overweight and thick-necked the classic description of someone with this problem. His airways were collapsing when he lay down so he couldn't breathe properly as a result he was taking mini-wakes all night long as he gasped for breathe. Up to 50 mini wakes an hour. The result: during the day he was grumpy and morose and constantly sitting in a chair and falling asleep. He was given an apparatus that monitors his breathing at night and pushes air into it to keep the airways open.

It took one night of decent sleep. He woke early next morning bright eyed and bushy tailed, didn't sleep all day and started two DIY jobs that had been awaiting his attention for months. Suddenly the real person, hidden for years under all that exhaustion was back with me.

It is a problem most people do not know they have, so do not get treated for.

No, twice, not lucky in love it seems, both were control freaks,

It’s great to hear so many of you would marry the same man again, I know I would also in a heartbeat, so sad to hear bluebird 64 your post, it must be extremely difficult for your husband to overcome ptsd my dad actually had vascular dementia for many years , wishing you all the best x

Tingle, so very sorry. Lost my lovely husband to cancer too young. Would i marry him again, yes, I wanted it to be forever.

I’m sorry to say I don’t think I would, by and large he is a lovely man, a good person and generally liked by all but he’s done a few things that have hurt me badly (I don’t mean affairs) and I haven’t forgotten and don’t seem to be able to forgive. The funny thing is that there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me and I know he loves me but when I think about whether I love him I can’t seem to find an answer....

Awww this thread has made me feel happy and sad.

What I know is NOBODY is absolutely perfect so in the words of Meatloaf 2 out of 3 aint bad!

I feel for the people who lost their husbands young and I feel it for those who are living long lives with husbands that drive them insane! And happy for those who have husbands they have grown older with and continue to love each other.

I guess I am a mixture because I was widowed young and spent many years alone with children and met a man who I married 10 years ago. Absolutely NO comparison as the two men are so different in every which way. Would I have been eternally happy with husband number 1? Erm not sure about that (lots of faults even though I did love him) but would I have been happy with hubby number 2 when I was young...Erm not sure about that either???

My advice is to ENJOY your life with or without a partner. Be yourself and do exactly what you want to do.