Geriatric infidelity (problem page letter and response). What do we think?

I felt sorry for the mans wife on reading this hope she is okay.
As far as older people having affairs go I never give it much thought but it happens.

My elderly uncle lost a wife to cancer and for several years lived alone. They did not have children. He retired and then met a woman at his social club, it was all friendship in beginning and she had been married three times previous.
My uncle was always thoughtful and very precise about his finances etc and asked myself and my cousin to look after things once he passed away. I forgot all about it as rather think of relatives when here rather than when dead and gone. This woman moved in with him and he told my mother they would never marry and they never did.

To get to the point they were together for some years and he died. I had always maintained regular contact with him and obviously still remembered about his wishes for things to be taken care of when he was gone. Two hours after his death in hospital I was called by the womans son from previous marriage to tell me he had found my uncles will and everything belonged to his mother, I was told that my side of the family would not be wanted to show up at the house for the funeral but the address for the funeral would be sent by card to me. Needless to say I went to the funeral and also my two brothers and nephew also my son and when her family saw us I knew they thought they were going to have a punch up on their hands but I had made it clear to my family at the end of the service for my uncle we would just leave as we had been there to pay our respects only and that's what we did.
My brother was angry as he knew my uncle and my brother said I should have been left quite a bit in the will and I got nothing. I did not care the only thing that hurt most was not being invited to my uncles house for his send off, that woman had been treated well in my family since she got with my uncle and that was how we were treated when he died. My point being that woman can be as cold and calculating as some men, it just takes all sorts.

Brilliant, Elegran!

I think he wants to have his cake and eat it, but doesn't want to sweep up the crumbs or wash the plate. He turned down the chance of unlimited cake for that reason, and is now feeling peckish again and wishes he hadn't.

Tough. The cake is now in some other man's cupboard, out of his reach. He'll have to either make do with the plain crackers in his own biscuit tin, or throw them out and go shopping from scratch.

I think he'll find that the shelves are empty except for the less attractive brands.

I think he regrets missing his chance.

Yuck. I feel sorry for the poor man's wife.

Unfortunately, we are actually seeing spikes in STIs among seniors. Yup, it happens! A possible reason is that they figure they're too old to really cause any serious harm (i.e. they're past childbearing years), so they figure they don't need any protection. I would urge the man to get himself tested for STIs. If his mistress was prepared to cheat WITH him, she may also have cheated ON him.

WHY are you commenting then? Moving swiftly along! Jeez.

I cannot see why anyone would put a long convulated post on like this. Was the guy bragging or complaining, who is bothered and why should it interest Garajo? There's more interesting things to ponder.

Tedber, sorry! Not you. Directed at Phoenix' waspish comment.

He just wanted a chance to brag and say look at me I still have it, or did. Maybe the wife was having more excitement with someone else and didn't care.

Oh gagajo. Just to clarify I wasn’t referring to YOUR post not being genuine. I just meant was it a genuine problem sent in?

Sorry if it looked like I was addressing that to you.

Just thought it was a break from the usual 'politics, Christmas, ill health' posts Phoenix.

If you don't like a post, why comment? I read and then return to the menu. If I was rude about every post I thought was a waste of time, I'd be on here for hours.

LOL Galaxy and that is assuming the post is genuine? Am sure people just make things up when they are bored or even the mags themselves sometimes? Like editor saying "OK what we got on the problem front?" Well nothing new on last week so how about "blah blah blah" I am sure it goes on

On for heavens sake!

Are we really expected to show interest in this? A letter written to an agony aunt (of whom I have never heard, but seems from this to be quite an unpleasant person!) concerning the experiences of someone who has no connection with GN?

Sorry, not like me to be so waspish, GagaJo but I think there are other things that could be posted, that might result in more productive conversations.

Except himself.

Or perhaps his wife could find excitement without him. His letter is utterly self obsessed and bursting with the urge to show off his exploits. I imagine he is utterly inadequate at providing anyone with excitement.

He is a boring old f--t in my opinion

'old enough to know better' struck me as odd. Many men, of all ages, do this if they have a hope of getting away with it.

A seven-year affair is quite an accomplishment, longer than many marriages. Often, the wife knows all about it but sees no reason to give up on the security and companionship of an established marriage. She might even be relieved at not having to supply the sex!

She isn't exactly approving of the husband, though, if you read between the lines. She calls him a "casual Casanova" with a vacancy he seems "eager to fill," says he has had a "pretty good innings" and suggests that he " thank your lucky stars for what you had and what you got away with and determine to inject a little of whatever it was that affair offered, even if it’s simply sex, into your marriage." If he follows that advice his marriage (and wife) might gain a little of the excitement he sought and found with the mistress.

That was my point elegran her response was ridiculous. She offered scant concern for the wife. I don't think she likes women very much.

I actually thought this was the OP dilemma! ?

Not sure what to say either. Not very original tbh. He Sounds like a lot of men who want their cake and eat it! ?. What does the age matter?

Good for the other woman finding someone else and giving him the big E.

I wonder if he'd had affairs in the past. He seemed to have a very cavalier, nay, narcissistic attitude. The only feelings he cared about were his own.

Chewbacca I think Gagajo was struck by the same contrast that we hve all seen, between the real problems faced by so many and the shallow nature of this one.

Just bragging ....couldn’t be bothered to read to the end to be honest

Who cares?

There are so many people in this world with genuine hardships and problems, not of their own making, that it's extremely difficult to give this "man" a moment's thought as to how he can resolve a problem of his own making; or give it any headspace at all really. I'm a little as to why it even caught OP's attention and why it was ever thought worthy of a discussion. But each to their own......