I’m so worried about my 30 year old daughter

My daughter was in a similar position 6/7 years ago.
Her relationship of 8 years had ended, she had been made redundant, she left London to come north and stay with us.
She was nearly 30, jobless, childless and without a partner.
She stayed with us and slowly recovered and became her old self.
It took her 3 months to feel well enough to apply for jobs, she returned to London and soon met her current partner, they have our beautiful granddaughter.
I was despairing and so sad to see her pain.
I hope you too have a happy ending.

Yes I thought the same as Grannyknot about your name Cathy.

Don't try to fix things for your daughter, as Notanan said she needs time to come to terms with happened, let her talk things through with you and listen to her. We still want to make things right for our children but now they are adults we can't do that. I hope she comes to terms with things soon.

Hi Cathy I'm sorry to read of your worry with your daughter. I trust you are not using your real name as a username, because these forums are open to anyone to read (should they come across them of course).

I agree that she needs time to get over the shock. I have know from friends and acquaintances that this happens as people see their peers around them getting on with their lives, this feeling of being left behind. Console her, she is still relatively young. I agree she would be able to find another job. She may well rally. My mother used to say "Wash your face, brush your hair and face the world." (with kindness).

Good luck.

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to reply, helps to know people care

Too many negatives in that last sentance but hopes it makes sense!

I dont think she was wrong to take a chance on her childhood love FWIW. Jobs are just jobs. And it MIGHT have worked out. She only knows it didnt work because she tried!

If she hadnt tried she'ld always wonder. So she does deserve some credit for chasing a dream. Having the hindsight now to know it didnt work doesnt mean she wasnt wrong to take the chance in the first place

There's nothing worse when you're down than people trying to "fix" you, so dont bombard her with suggestions of what she should do next.

If she says her life isnt worth living ask her out right if she is having suicidal thoughts, and if yes seek professional help. If not, let her wallow a bit thats okay. If shes still wallowing in 4mths time that would be different. For now, its okay for het to feel sorry for herself

She took a chance and changed her life for the chance of happiness/love. It was brave and it didnt work. She has every right to feel bruised

I totally understand how you feel it is so upsetting when your adult child is unhappy there is so little we can do they often don’t want your cuddles they want the person they haven’t got not us and there’s such a fine line when they’re back home to over compensating (I hold my hands up to that in the past)

It is very early days as yet if their relationship only finished 4 days ago. Be supportive and listen to her. Try not to say anything much against the ex in case they ever get back together. Give her a week or two and then encourage her to apply for jobs. It is lovely she can come home to you , be patched up and hopefully go off on her way again. I'm sure you tell her her good points to try and bolster her confidence. If you are concerned her mood is not picking up it would be worth her seeing her GP in a week or so. She needs time to recover from a nasty shock like this. Hope things improve

Firstly if your daughter was earning that much money she should be able to find another job. If she loves children so much is it worth her considering fostering or adopting an older child who needs some care. Get to a GP and see if she can have some antidepressants. Try and find something for her to look forward to.
Many people meet their soulmate on a dating app. Perhaps she could try that. Good luck to you both.