No sleep and spitting feathers

Nemosmum it's the husband/father who is the ex Superintendent not the step daughter.

endlessstrife yes I know the father was aware of the fraud but he had not discussed it with his wife the OP.

It's a very difficult situation to be in Livlass and I sympathise with you. I think her father should deal with this as he sees fit and you should not be drawn into it any further.

I can not believe you lot !
Everyone does it
Keep out of it
This is a serious crime of fraud for which she could go to prison
What the hell is the matter with you
How will you feel then ...

I have reported a number of frauds like this over the years when I worked in charities and social housing. It was generally people working cash in hand alongside claiming and it felt bad making reports as I knew that the cash-in-hand work really was supplementing the terrible, barely subsistence benefit system.
I can honestly say only one was ever investigated.
Even when they aren’t family, if you have a genuine connection with the people involved it it really hard to do.

I suggest you wait till she’s gone and speak to your husband about it. It’s his daughter after all.
Good luck.

This is a very difficult one. I personally have shopped my brother to the police recently as he stole £2000 from my mothers bank account just before and after she died. He abused his power of attorney and basically stole from me too.
I am of course ostracized by my extended family who felt that it was perfectly OK to do this, but I felt that I had a duty to my late mother to protect her interests and would not wish to be abetting the situation. My brother will be taken to task and hopefully will learn a thing or two about respect and decency.
I do not think that people should get away with it.
I have to live with what I did but at least I can hold my head up high with a clear conscience and hope that my brother will learn from this.

You can blow the whistle on benefit scroungers anonymously. Would be no more than she deserves.

I agree with others in its best for family harmony not to inform on her. If she mentions it again just say you are sorry but you do not think it is right and would rather not discuss it. If you need to vent come on here there is always someone to listen and you can get it out of your system.

I would be more annoyed with a husband who colluded with this by continuing with an allowance after knowing what she was up to. Maybe he thinks she won't keep in touch if he doesn't keep paying it. It does seem as if he has never taught her about consequences.
I think that I would report it because of the scale of it but there will be blowback for doing that so I can't be absolutely sure that I would. People get in trouble for doing things by accident and yet this level of calculation has no consequences.
I gave a statement about my neighbour (I was asked by DWP, who had noticed a discrepency themselves) and I wasn't sorry when he then illegally sublet the flat and moved away as it can be dangerous. He had been claiming benefits as a single parent but they noticed that he wasn't claiming child benefit (which apparently has an almost 100% take up). His girlfriend had moved to France with their child the year before.
The worst of this is that it plays into the exaggerated idea that many people have of the level of fraud in the system.

I think she is a disgrace. Like you, I too am fuming. Bottom line she does not need to take benefits. Greed is the driving force here. Buying luxuries. Husband what’s gone wrong with you? Please do the right thing.
It’s people like her who have caused stringent, some unfair, cuts in the benefits system and there are genuine people who are losing out now.
Give it a while and then report her. It’s the right thing to do, but regretfully you need to protect yourself. They have ways of protecting you eg phoney ‘standard regular audit procedures’.
Saddest thing is you’re having to go through all this. You sound honest, caring and good. I wish you well.

Be careful who you tell. My sister was dobbed in for something similar, she thought it was me ( it wasn't) and she and her family have been awkward with me since. It was actually my other sister and as they dont know, everything is great with them. I did try to tell them but they still believed it was me. Their decision and as I know the truth it is their problem not mine. It bothers me at times but they need each other more than I need them. Only dobb if you can accept the circumstances.

Lots of scroungers around......Amazon, Starbucks, cheating/lying expense claiming MP's

If the scroungers and cheats were prevented from claiming, how much better life could be for those who really do need help. We had neighbours years ago who were out for anything they could get 'free'; on one occasion he reported sick to his employer, and was paid, worked for someone else for his two sickness weeks and was paid, and also claimed sickness benefit. His wife told a group of neighbours this, full of pride for his inventiveness. The neighbour who relayed this tale to me said 'he is going to get his come uppance very soon - he's been reported'. I gather he was lucky to keep his job.

I defend the father's attitude. There must be nothing worse than having a dad who is a policeman and brings his work home (ie starts policing his own family). Having said that, no I don't approve of benefit fraud one little bit - it just makes life tougher for those who really need it and have to jump through hoops to prove their need. But I'd stay out of it. Starting a confrontation will only end badly for you.

It's people like her cheating the system that screws it up for the genuine claimant. They are beyond the pale.
But I wouldn't take it any further if I were you as that could cause problems between you and your partner. If she talks to you again about it, tell her you don't want to know.

You have my sympathy, OP. I hate this kind of cheating too. I also hate the fact that sd’s so comfortable with the deception she’s happy to tell you about it because in her mind, what’s she’s doing isn’t remotely wrong.

The same level of manipulation goes on in Education- teachers going off ‘sick’ on full salary when nothing’s wrong - starting up a new business in one case - and I’ve seen this happen multiple times yet people are still up in arms about funding cuts, despite the vast amounts of money wasted by unscrupulous staff- but that’s another thread altogether.

As someone else said, talk to your DH and make it clear you don’t condone her methods and don’t want to hear any more, but don’t you be the one to report it. Hopefully karma will catch up with her.

I didn't know that, pensionpat.

Wouldn't she be entitled to contribution-based benefit for 6 months after finishing her job?
Meaning that her finances are not taken into account for that, provided she has paid enough NI contributions.

Clearly she has been defrauding council tax, tho, and probably means to try to defraud the benefits system.

I suggest you speak to your husband about how he will be helping her to do that, if he continues to give her an allowance.

Income from family is completely disregarded by DWP. I’ve just checked that this is still the case. The son living with her is the fraudulent aspect.

your conscience is bothering you OP, Clearly it will bother you for eternity. Clear your conscience by reporting it as above, then at least you can live your life in peace.

I would be very upset if it was my husband just shrugging his shoulders, not a man to trust.

Your husband may not have known exactly what his daughter had done till now,because perhaps hes been giving her the allowance to help her out believing she needed it?Believing her not have benefits,But NOW he too knows the truth,discuss it with him first.then ask what hes going to do.Take it from there.

I would ask her dad what he thinks about it - say something to him like ‘ I was shocked that ...’. See how he reacts. If you tell on her you will probably lose her and possibly your husband too, on the other hand he may be plotting to report her anonymously. He really is in a spot.

Where is integrity? - imagine the tens of thousands in the country that do the same - I am a pensioner who has worked since 18 and still work part time to get by, while others live off the tax that me and other hard working people pay. I would let her and your husband know that you don’t approve, maybe even give her the cold shoulder, but I would not presume to tell you to report her - it could have huge repercussions for your family. Having said that, you could give her a deadline, of say March ( when council tax is renewed) to stop claiming - but I would talk to your husband first. It would make all the difference if he is on your side, if not you have to face the fact that it could break up your marriage.

The long blonde hair comment makes you sound a bit jealous tbh.
It’s disgraceful that your DH is ex senior police and he condones this fraud by his silence.
Tell them both that it’s fraud and you’d rather not be burdened with the knowledge.

You can let the DWP know anonymously as its people like her who play the system that makes me cross as it takes away from those who really do need it...tell your husband and tell him that he has to talk to her that what shes doing is fraudulent and as such she will be made to repay back what shes taken & even jailed...

So sorry to hear that you are in this predicament.
These situations can never end well.
You have started positively by writing it all down.
In the cold light of day you might like to review what you have written.
What is the worst that can happen? Will your relationship with your husband survive the upheaval this will cause?
If the shoe was on the other foot and your husband was threatening to take action against one of your children , how would that feel.?
The fact is you cannot un-know something once you have been 'enlightened'. It is a matter of what you do with that knowledge.
Your husband may be afraid of his daughter, which might explain the continued allowance and his turning a blind eye to her fraud and theft.
Perhaps a one to one conversation between you and her.
i.e. " Your conversation last night showed you up to be a thief, a liar and a fraud". "your showing off about it in my house has made us potential accomplices".
"You are no longer welcome under this roof until you can prove that you have changed your ways.
If you want to see your father then it will have to be away from here. I am disappointed and ashamed of you. It is neither clever or funny to lie and steal."
This is called 'Tough Love',

I cannot believe how many responders are making light of this. This is fraud. She is obtaining money under false pretences from the government and therefore stealing from tax payers. It’s not fiddling the system or being sneaky and it’s not less wrong than tax evasion. It’s blatant theft. She is taking money fraudulent. How can that be right on any level? To make matters worse, she appears to think it’s OK to admit to it, doesn’t fear any consequences and has no intention of stopping.
Please ignore all the ridiculous advice about it being OK not to say something. Can you imagine the state the country would be in if we all condoned such crimes?
As others have said, the seriousness of these offences is reflected in the punishments - hefty fines, prison sentences, media reports, damage to family reputations. Talk to her dad, explain what may happen, ask him to persuade her to confess to the DWP. She could tell them she has realised her errors and wants to put things right. Does he really want his families reputation smeared across the papers - they love this kind of story. “Former police head’s daughter happily swindled the government with his approval”
She is treading on very dangerous ground but seems to not care?
PS. I was a fraud officer earlier in my career and I’ve seen the book thrown.

Yes as others have said,why does her dad give her an allowance?shes nearly a pensioner age herself not a child! Ask her dad a few questions,like why he gives her cash,yet still lets her cheat system? Then ask HIM what hes going to do about it?if he says nothing,ask why not?if nothing changes in a couple of months,then tell DWP anonymously.