Fussy eating grand daughters

I was in hospital for a while, GrannyLaine, not because of that but it prolonged my stay because I couldn't eat the food so they wouldn't let me out!

One of my grandchildren now ten is a terrible eater, I know that whatever I put in front of her will be wrong, even if it’s what she’s asked for, it’ll be the wrong type, and she doesn’t just not eat, she’s very vocal about how disgusting it is.

To avoid the stress I now just ignore her, I figure she’s not going to fade away in a few days, and if she gets hungry enough she’ll eat.

I was a very fussy eater, my father got very angry about it as he had been in a Japanese POW camp in the war. When mine were small I never made a fuss about them not eating, I remembered the horrible sick feeling I got when there were rows about this. Let your grandchildren have a bit of bread and butter if that's what they like, they'll grow out of being fussy.

It's always best to ignore the fussy eating. I agree that bread and butter is fine - or maybe their parents can bring a packed lunch for them.

My granddaughter (aged about three) flatly refused to eat her dinner. I just said 'I don't mind whether you eat it or not. You can just have an apple instead if you want.' She seemed really puzzled by that!

Oh dear, the comment at 13.21!

Is this the same person who doctored her sons eyedrops?

Agreed Phoenix

Hetty58 is right. This phase is best ignored, the children won't starve. Other options mentioned are also useful, allow the children to help themselves or give them finger food. Whatever you decide anxiousgran just relax and let them take it or leave it, at the moment they are just playing you.

I was an extremely fussy eater, I remember sitting all Sunday afternoons crying into my cold roast, unable to get down until I finished.

Daughter number one was also fussy, I admit to trying to encourage her to eat, try a bit of everything type thing, but when the next two came along, I decided to go with the flow, I just threw it away if they didn’t want it, I’m not sure it worked as to this day, child two eats a very limited diet, the other two are fine.

I know various nursery workers and they know it’s a control thing used by a child mostly against when the child becomes aware that they do possess the power to manipulate circumstances. As food is a fundamental need, those providing it are open to such emotional blackmail. This came up when they explained child-lead weaning, where a child develops a more direct relationship with food early on.
My children grew up alongside two others who lead their mother a merry dance on what they would and wouldn’t eat. Funnily enough, after a hard days outdoor play, and when their mother wasn’t around, they’d eat all sorts in my house.

doctored her son's eyedrops
I missed that phoenix
What with?
Not superglue I hope!

I see that all Frognan's previous threads have been deleted, OP, so I would ignore the advice in her thread.

yes, I think maybe we have a kind ugly gnome among us...

Put out a selection of sandwich fillings and let them make their own.

If you get a chance, read John Marsdeon's brilliant book, 'The Art of Growing Up' he talks a lot about giving children sensible choices to help them learn.

Jeepers these are small children. For some reason they are choosing to exercise control at your house. You have no idea why. I would do as many say, take advice from their parents, or let them choose from what is being served or bread or yoghurt. Downplay all the way! Be loving but disinterested in this expression of control and curious about why??

What we did with our son was that he could chose what he wanted from the serving dishes on the table (obviously there was stuff we knew he had eaten previously). If he didnt want anything then he had to sit at the table until we finished - he could join in the conversation, but was not allowed toys/electronics.

GC fussy eaters when younger but if it was a main meal I used to give them a small plate and let the children help themselves. Likewise for a buffet. One GS only ever took carbs, sister took a bit of everything. Other GS would only have meat and roasts- not touching his sister only veg especially peas. The years some of them refused everything was stressful for us, but the only firm rule I had was that food other than fruit had to be eaten at the table. No good deciding you were hungry after everything was cleared away. It seemed to work.This Christmas I was lectured on heathy eating by the ‘carbs only’ GS. ??

Years were stressful!

Don't worry about it - even though it seems like they are having a go at you!
Is there any way that your DiL could "assist" you in the kitchen when they visit? Or even get the children involved in the preparation of the food?
If not, either just give them what they want or asked their parents to bring a packed lunch for them - they may still refuse to eat that or create a scene though! My SiL used to feed their children at home before they came to our house so us adults could eat in peace (her idea not mine), the children were in the next room watching a dvd. Maybe that is worth a try?

There's nothing worse to me than seeing a plate piled high up with food, so yes, we always serve ourselves from dishes on the table.

Just say to their parents (Mum or Dad) "I have a fridge full of food if you want to prepare them something to eat" or ' Would you like to dish out their dinner for them' Pass on the responsibility. Then if they don't eat it's not your fault!

I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re not their favourite granny!

Lots of options here. The dgds often help with making of pudding with me, but we try to have main course ready in advance, so there’s not a rush to get last minute things with the food done. Their arrival time is always a bit unpredictable.

I certainly wouldn’t punish them for not eating, I want them to enjoy coming here.

I was an extremely fussy eater.. I subsisted on cheese biscuits when I was very little, my mum has told me, and I was frightened of my dad’s draconian attitude to not eating. I dreaded Saturday tea time - it was the only time he ate with us.

I don’t think it’s real dislike thing with the dgds. I do agree they are playing up over this, and not to me, more to DS, dil usually works Sundays when they come. Thinking about it, I think it embarrasses him, and I’ve posted before about his stress levels.

So I’ll have a word with him, and ask him what he would like us to do. I don’t want 3stressed adults round a table, taking ages trying to coax 2 children who have decided not eat.

I don’t withhold their pudding either if they don’t eat the main course, so it is perhaps like my 91 yr old dad with Altzeimer’s. And he was the draconian one.

Just give them bread and butter and water. They are playing games. They will soon get fed up of watching everyone else eating what is served. Oh and never make an issue of it.

Dont pander to their wants. I have 4 grandsons and eldest tried this on me, I'm afraid I served up same for all and if he didnt want it then he obviously wasnt hungry, that meant no pudding, he soon started eating again. Dont get me wrong if they have tried it and then said they didnt like it then that is different and choice given. I love all grandsons and have great relationship with them.

my grandkids are the same chicken.nuggets every meal but they eat it so i dont care, 4 and 6 is the age where fussiness kicks in from my experience my eldest gd was the worst shes 13 now and is trying a few more things now, if they want bread and butter let them have it, its no big deal really

I have 4 grandchildren, 2 of whom are saying they are vegetarian, they are from different families.
There is no problem with my 16 year old grandson who eats a lot but my 17 year old granddaughter is a real worry as she seems to eat very little and misses meals seeming to almost exist on pizza and chocolate- she is now saying she only has a small stomach!!!

It is a real worry for everyone - I think all this faddy eating is a problem of the modern age.