Missing a birthday card from my DS for the first time

No your not it happened to me last year I didn't get a card of any of my 4 children not even a txt that hurt so much to me if I get a card that's all that matters but let's hope he knows how much it hurt you and when they next come to see you let's hope he feels guilty but you be strong and dont mention it because that is what he will be thinking you will do

I think you are more than lucky but isn't it funny our we get worked up about not receiving cards. I sent lovely cards at Xmas to my family and my niece and nephew didnt send me one back. Yet they got me a present! That to me is weird as we all spent Xmas together.
But you have written he wants to do something for your birthday. He might bypass the card and get you a pressie instead. It's best not to expect anything and then every is a lovely surprise.

If he usually hands you your card on your birthday and he knew you were going away and he wouldn’t see you this year, that is why he probably didn’t give you one. He may give you one when you see him or he may feel it is a thing you only do on the birthday itself. It probably never occurred to him to make a special trip to put one through the door. I think you are feeling overwhelmed by other things, getting older yourself, both your parents with dememtia, no sibling to share that burden or remember your childhood and you are projecting this onto your son and this card. It sounds as if he is a good son and you have a good relationship with him.

He came to visit you- so this is so much more important than a pice of paper, surely.

I would be the same but quietly be hurt. I am 60 at the end of the month and wondering if they will make any extra effort. I think it’s because we are getting older and our lives shorter! If you know what I mean!

I don’t “get” giving people cards (whether birthday or Christmas)
To me, a card is sent its function being to convey love, good wishes whatever when a person isn’t there to express the personally.
My sister in law did this at Christmas (well Boxing Day) disappearing upstairs to write Christmas cards which she then distributed.
But whatever the tradition in your family, omission is unforgivable.

I wonder if your son would notice if you didn't send him a card. I don't think you're over reacting.
A couple of years ago I was at the hair salon and my hairdresser, a confident and busy lady, was upset because her son hadn't given her a mother's day card. It was the Wednesday after mother's day and he sauntered in and handed her a card. I (yep rudely) said to him "no point now, mothers day was last Sunday". He lived locally so no excuse.
SO no you're not over reacting.... If you're upset and disappointed, you're allowed to have feelings ?

Maybe he's thinking he'll give you a card when you meet up to celebrate your birthday? Did he give you a gift when he came for dinner. If your DH is his DF maybe he could have a word to let your DS how important a card is for you. I'm all for good communication especially in families. Happy birthday by the way.

Youngsters don't send cards these day they text greetings, My daughter doesn't send cards to anyone, Since I mentioned it to het that it upset me not to get one I do now receive a mothers day card and birthday card But o Christmas card which I accept, as so many people have stopped sending these

A sign of the times I'm afraid. The younger ones don't do cards so much now. Also, boys (and men) are notoriously hopeless at cards and always have been. Unless their wife or partner buys one and puts it in their hand to write a greeting they probably won't send one. Men do not attach much importance to cards, it's more a girlie thing.

I too would be hurt Joanny and I agree with others. It’s not just a piece of paper it’s meaningful and as for the environmental side of it, card is recyclable! You sound like a sensitive soul to me and that’s not a bad thing. I’m sure that your son would be sorry if he knew how much this has upset you.
Hope you enjoyed your birthday treat from your DH. ???

Let him know it matters to you.

So sorry this has made you sad, I know only too well how that feels with my DS missing many birthdays & even Mothers Day. I used to be devastated but now count my blessings that I have a wonderful DS & DD who are always there for me & contact me daily. What counts for more? I agree that cards are becoming outdated, even for me ar 65 thinking twice about sending them, prefer face to face greetings. Chin up, you have a son who loves you dearly, cherish the moment!

Id be upset too.
It's not just a bit of paper, it's what's written in it that counts, so I'd be just as happy with a text or FB message but I'd want some sort if acknowledgement.
Hugs from me Joany, I'm sure he didn't mean to forget, men can be hopeless at times xx

He did visit, so he probably thought that was enough? TBH I do feel that we all need to be more honest about what we need from loved ones - otherwise, how do we expect them to know (they're not mind readers)? At some point in the future, maybe near your next birthday, when you're having a conversation with him, maybe drop in some remark about how much you look forward to getting cards for your birthday, and how important they are to you (especially his)? If he doesn't take the hint, you may need to be a bit more direct. Good luck.

I always get a card from my eldest son, and daughter, never get one from 2 youngest,they don't do cards,but say they love me and see them often,or ring me

Think yourself lucky he's speaking to you and still in your life. Mine's disowned me completely. I got nothing from him for my last birthday, no recognition at all, and he chose Mothers Day to announce to the world on social media that he'd got engaged. I'd take having him in my life over a piece of paper any day. Happy Birthday.

Joanny this happens every year with mine. Last year I was ill just before Christmas and I’m still waiting for the promised gifts and cards. I doubt if I will ever see either.
It’s either apathy or thoughtlessness. Which is the more hurtful I wonder.

Binkiebonk not necessarily, some do, some don't!

You're overreacting! I have a son who forgets birthdays, Mother's Day etc. Drives me nuts and I tease him about it unmercifully. You shoul
d have had a daughter if you want cards!!!

I didn’t get a card from my DS and his family for my birthday ( last week) either Joanny . Not entirely surprised but ever so slightly hurt if I’m honest. Mind you, mine wasn’t a “special” birthday like yours.

I would much prefer my son to spend time with me than give me a card. If it didn't pop up on his Facebook page, I doubt he'd even remember it was my birthday. I know he loves me and that's what's important to me.

I don’t think you are overreacting as a card is obviously important to you, I’m never really that bothered in receiving presents but I do like a card, so yes I know what you mean, maybe when you see him he will give you it,

Have you checked your emails, texts?
Perhaps he has sent you a virtual one and is trying to save paper - and the planet.

Happy birthday ?

A birthday card? From a son???
I enjoyed one I got from them one year which said something like:
Happy birthday from both of us- the one who remembered the date, bought the card, wrote the card, addressed it, stamped it and posted it....

...and the other one.