Missing a birthday card from my DS for the first time

I think there’s a difference between sending a card and forgetting your birthday- he hasn’t done the latter so don’t let it worry you. How about reminding him of the promise to meet up and do something together by asking him to suggest a date?

I have 5 sons. Lucky if I get 2 or 3 cards from them for birthday. More usually a phone call or text if abroad. They feel cards are a waste of money and waste of paper. Try not to let it upset you Joanny

Although people saying it's only just paper I'm with you joanny,I love getting cards and I would be upset not getting a card. But others my daughter, son included it doesn't bother them.

I never get a card or greeting from my mother... nothing, I also get nothing from my brother. My father and sister are both dead.
Hereford, I have learnt not to have expectations regarding other people’s behaviour. This way I don’t get disappointed...but it they do the good deed....I am delighted...so it is a win win situation for me.
It took a long time to learn this lesson...but it works.
Add in to that...your son is just behaving true to his gender.

He and his girlfriend came to see you a couple of days before your bday. ......that shows he loves you. I wouldn't worry too much about a Card.
Last year my daughter didn't get me a Birthday Card. I was quite sad that she had forgotten, but what with being a single mother, and working 24/7, I had to understand.
Youngsters are caught in the whirlwind of their lives and Birthday cards are not their priority.
Happy Birthday Joanny !!

Could your dh give you a birthday card?

I think it is a bit unreasonable for your son to be responsible to cover the gap due to the lack of family unable to do what you would like

A couple of years ago I visited my son shortly after his birthday. He had a stack of post under some paperwork that looked unopened. "Oh", he said when I pointed it out to him, "I think it's just birthday cards".

It was. One of them was mine. I had spent a while choosing the right one, writing something heartfelt and rushing to the post with it.

He thinks they are pointless "just more junk".
He sends no cards now. Neither Christmas nor birthdays. For a few years it was hit-or-miss.
He says he knows who loves him, that he loves his family, and doesn't think cards are relevant any more.

Maybe if I made a fuss he'd send one. But who wants a card sent out of duty anyway?

I would be upset too. He prob doesn’t have a clue how important it is to you. You have to gently let him know. Pick the right moment to say it.

I don't think you are overreacting! I would be upset too.

It's just paper! If you hadn't seen or heard from him then you'd be justifiably upset. Yes - you are overreacting!

I understand you being upset, but he did come and see you which is far more important, he knew you were going away do didn't bother , not realising how important it is to you.?

He knew you were going away for your birthday so probably thought not much point sending a card as you wouldn’t be getting it on the day. You saw him for a meal before and you’ll be seeing him again soon. Which is more important?

I agree, cards are on the way out-very expensive and just more landfill. Meeting up far better if possible

My youngest never sends cards but always phones or texts on birthdays and sends or gives me a gift. I do find it sad that the art of sending cards is fading. I think it is one of the last nice traditions and for me I miss not getting cards. This Christmas I noticed a reduction in cards sent to us. People do prefer just to text or message. Having said this Royal Mail haven't helped as postage is expensive. It was £1.45 for each card I sent to USA this year. Not big cards either. Honestly, do not take it to heart. There are many reasons folk don't post cards now some economical and others environmental.

I didn't get a card from either of my sons for my recent 70th birthday but both came to see me and gave me a present. DS2 made the comment "you have a present but no card". Did not upset me one little bit as it meant so much more that they made the effort to visit.

Oh dear please don’t get upset over a card it really means nothing at all My eldest and grandkids always each send me individual cards Christmas and birthdays
My son probably wouldn’t if his wife didn’t but I get one from all of them together
My youngest daughter ‘doesn’t do cards’ so neither do her children so no cards from them
Same with Mother’s Day, three children only one card ? as son is in another country that has a different Mother’s Day and as I said before youngest just doesn’t do them

My sons don't always send a card but they always buy me a present for my birthday. They never send any Christmas cards. They just think cards are a waste of money. Like others have said the younger generation dont seem to bother the same with cards. I am sure your son doesn't mean to upset you Joanny. He probably doesn't realise it is important to you.

You are not making a mountain out of a molehill. I think that is very sad.

Try not to let this upset you Joanny, your son may hand a card over when he sees you or he may not, it doesn’t mean he loves you less. You see him regularly, that’s priceless.

Thank you everyone and of course you are right. I was making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I don’t think my son has sent me card for 20 yrs it’s just not something he does. Don’t feel bad as the others have said he’s been to see you far more important than a card.

I hardly ever get a card from my DS but this does not make me think he does not appreciate me.

I understand you are upset, but what is a bit of paper? Your son (plus girlfriend) have been to see you and spend time with you - I suspect he didn't imagine for one minute that he would be seen as unfeeling because he didn't spend £2 on a bit of paper and an envelope !

I have three sons - two of them would never dream of spending their money on an extortionately expensive piece of paper with a picture on it. But they do wish me Happy Birthday by phone or email or text depending where they are. That means so much more to me.

Due to Facebook and texts cards seem to be a thing of the past.

Maybe you could tell him how important it still is to you,he probably thought the dinner before and planned dinner when you were back are enough.

Yes timetogo is right, its just a card, your son spent time with you which is much more important I think Joanny. Cards are not so important to our children any more, don't get this out of proportion.

Happy birthday