Should I say the 3 little words first

Or say....I love spending time with you.....see how it goes! My daughter signs off every phone call to her boyfriend with..’love you’....just sounds meaningless......

oh for goodness sake you aren't teenagers if you love him tell him !

Ooooo you've piqued my interest MissAdventure!
^ I always wait to see if it's real^
The word always indicates plural. Been a few times eh?
Lucky old you!

Back to op, I think *suziewoozie puts it best for me.

Say it not said it

He may be planning to tell you on St Valentine's Day.
If it passes without him sending you a card saying that or saying it to you directly, I don't think I would say it first.

Three years is a long time, did neither of you said it the first time you were together?

Did you approach him recently and say sorry or did he get in touch?

Saying sorry is sometimes harder than saying I love you.

I seem to have asked a lot of questions, you don't have to answer.

I know a couple....the guy waited 4 years to say it. He cheated on her and then confessed. He then said it right after to keep her. Worked. They're married now.

I would question why he hasn't said it yet.
Be careful.

A similar thing happened to me and my husband and said it straight away, I thought it was too soon, however we are now married and happy.

Workingnana IF you do love him ....why not say it? Well it is what I would do anyway. Not any rules about it are there? Nothing says HE has to say it first?

If he runs for the hills then what have you lost exactly?

Had either of you ever said it in the previous 3 year relationship? If not, that's VERY odd!!!!

Tell yourself - it doesn`t matter - its blown out of all proportion...don't buy into it.
If you say it and get no response is the sky going to fall in on you ? No...
If he / her is scared of the word, that is their Problem , don't make it yours..
Don't just dip your toe - jump straight in...
If they deserve your Love they will answer in more ways than saying I LOVE YOU back because its the `don thing`
If they say it - it does not mean flowers will spring up all around you and music will fill the heavens....
Each of us should be able to say the words or not say them
Life isn't Linear after all ?

How about a card where you say something like ‘I love the way you make me feel’ or something similar....it is less intense than the words ‘I love you’......which almost demands that your partner reciprocates immediately in a similar vein. Too much pressure, too soon can scare some lesser mortals!

My thoughts are, if you have to ask then the answers NO I wouldn’t tell him.
When in doubt do nowt!!.

I have always felt that if you love someone - say it. If he doesn't love you and is 'scared off', then it was never going to be anything other than friendship this time. I know a couple who 'circled around' each other for several years before one of them just had to say the 'L' word - and they both bitterly regretted that they hadn't declared themselves years before. Life is short.

I’m afraid I agree with nannypiper and polnan - love is love, I love everyone and everything (unless I don’t!) and life’s too short. I always say they don’t have to say it back - everyone’s at various stages of “love”. Then again what do I know ...

If the card actually says' I love you' let the card do the talking and wait for the response.

Hmmm I'd wait. If you're not sure there's your answer.

Saying "I'm sorry" can irritate the recipient who might not care if you are sorry or not. It is what you do that matters.

Saying "I'm sorry" can mean "I'm sorry to have hurt your feelings please forgive me" which is worse than useless unless there is a stated intention to put things right.

I am following this post for similar reasons! Wait until after Valentine’s Day - which puts too much pressure on men and is vastly overrated anyway. Sometimes men indicate their feelings by being there for you, having your back, being proud to introduce you to their friends and tease the life out of you in a nice way, it is not always about hearts and flowers and cards. Such men are rare and can be easily scared off if you say the word and they are not ready to commit.

That said, life is too short so pluck up the courage to say it but only if you are prepared for the consequences!

I’m confused

Together 3 years but stopped seeing each other for 2 years?!

They are not words to be used in a trivial way... If you can't say it to his face then you should not send a card with it in.

Why not get a card that like cossybabe says "I love being with you" or "You make me feel very special" and then see what you get back !

Met a chap I knew when I was at school last year. Had not seen him in 30 years! Took a leap of faith, we went on holiday and so far so good. I said love you first but mitigated it then by saying it was an in the moment thing. Men do get frightened by commitment but life is short and you have already wasted two whole years!

Why not send a card that says " I love being with you?

I would be very wary of saying it, in my situation I know my male friend (not partner) would run a mile. We have a strong friendship, I have a definite soft spot for him but love - no. Any cards I send are jokey not sentimental

Say it if it feels right but be prepared for the consequences if he doesn't feel the same way....sorry not much help I know.

My DH, who was the "love of my life" & I rarely said it but actions speak louder than words.

well I love most everyone,, love is love,,, different sorts of love.. we take it all too seriously,, love whilst you can..