The company of good friends

I wish I had been more confident at making friends but never allowed myself to get too close to others. My mother particularly was always very critical of my friends.
I'm trying to make up for it now and enjoy letting myself go more in people's company. Sharing food either at home or somewhere is always a good start. Then maybe move on to trips out.

Since last April when I found out I had heart failure and 2 fractures of the spine my health has gone down hill i have 2 sets of neighbours who have been wonderful to me I don't know what I would do without them in fact I don't think I would be be in the state of mind I am in today only for them you dont find many neighbours who will bend over backwards to help someone like me

I always feel my special friends are the family I choose myself. I too am so blessed .....2 friends from Infants school (63 years ago), 3 friends from Senior school, 2 from college and I’ve also acquired 6 friends from jobs over the years, plus 2 new special people who I’ve met on Singles holidays recently. I go power walking with some, ladies who lunch, badminton, theatre trips etc weekends away. They all fill my life with fun and happiness.

Whilst I agree that it is harder to socialize as a 'one' rather than a pair, my partner and I are friends with two widows and the four of us regularly have dinner together at each others' houses. The person whose house it is, cooks the main course and visitors take turns to take a starter or a dessert. It spreads the load and encourages you to try new recipes, as you only have one course to make.

I have a friend from my childhood who was three when I was born two doors away in 1950....we’ve played in gutters...we’ve learnt to swim together...we went to school together. We separated when I married and moved away ...she didn’t and stayed with her mum until she died. She has now lost most of her family....she’s not the sharpest knife in the box.....and finds life difficult. But she’s my friend from birth and we meet up 2/3 times a year, I listen to her complain about her life which has been self inflicted, and she drives me to drink sometimes....but she’s my friend and I’m hers!

I don't feel the need for friends, maybe because I am close to my sisters. I have a friend who I've known for 50 years but she lives in a different part of the country so I rarely see her. I go out with ex colleagues for lunch every now and then but it's always them who contact me. I'm surprised they don't get fed up with me! I could never confide in friends like I do with my sisters.

I lost a friend today. I learned that she died yesterday evening. She was a very fine woman and I am so glad that I had her as a friend. Hold your friends close. Take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy their company. We do not have endless time to be together.

Interesting this thread as I was 60 last week and had a lovely Sunday lunch out with six friends I had worked with originally 25 years ago. We stayed friends and have been through illness weddings births if grandchildren and special birthdays. I celebrated my 40th birthday my 50th birthday and now my 60th birthday I feel so blessed. Yes I have made new friends and feel they are special but I feel so blessed to have history and memories with my old ones.

So sorry to read that chaitriona.

I am blesed wih really good friends, but my best friend I have known since seven years of age, we are now both 78,we were at School together, were nursing together, have been each others bridesmaids/maids of honour,and we still meet as often as we can every time I am in the UK which is about four times a year.We write to each other and give each other advice when needed, I treasure her friendship, long may it continue!
I have a lovely GN friend, we have never met and probably will no,t but I appreciate her friendship very much. Good friends dont grow on trees.

Chaitriona I am so sorry to hear of the death of your friend. I agree, it is I'mportant for us to remember we will not live for ever, and make contact with the people we care about and love. I had a lovely friend, who so sadly got dementia - I used to visit her in the care home she went to - in the end she could not speak and I don't know if she knew who I was. I think all who loved her were happy for her when she died - and yet I was and am also deeply sad to lose such a lovely person from my life.

Thank you Harris27 and Applegran. Applegran, you were a good friend.

I have two friends from nurse training days (1962-65). Two of us are widows and one a divorcee. I speak every day to one and less frequently to the other but, we all meet up and have holidays together. I could not be without them.
Other friends made more recently but, still several years ago, have supported my husband and me during my husband’s illness, death and since.
Friends are priceless.

This is a lovely thread.

My friends are very important to me. I envy those of you who have friends from school. I moved throughout my childhood so lost touch with school friends.

I now have some who go back 50 years from nurse training, and several of at least 30-40 ago years from work.

It's so important to have soul mates whom you can share good and bad times with, and I couldn't manage without.
It's harder when you are older to make new friends but I've made some good friends since retirement.

It's important to nurture relationships as Chaitriona says because we don't know how long we have them. So sad for the loss of your friend.

I have two lovely girlfriends whom I have known for many years. I don’t know what I would have done without them when I lost my beloved partner to cancer in November.

I have friends from schooldays, from work and from when the children were small.

Friends are the best ... simple!

So sorry for your loss Chaitriana and other OP too.
I agree friends are SO valuable. I have a friend since we had our children together, over 40 years ago. Have made other friends down the years and am still making new friends. Have always had a very close relationship with my sister but we’ve had a recent extremely distressing fallout; I feel “bereaved”.
I have a sister in law who has not a single friend. How sad. As others have sad it takes effort to make and keep friendships.

With friends one feels so comfortable, no pretences. My clsest friend and I have now known each other 64 years. We met at boarding school when I was 13 and she was 12. We stayed with each other during holidays and half-terms and she is like an extra sister.

We have the same ‘G’ plan dining table we bought during the first year we were married from Times Furnishing in Piccadilly, Manchester. 1974! It has a butterfly extension and 6 chairs.

It has been used constantly. I like to think of all the family who have sat at eat to eat or party with us for Christmases and Easter’s and countless Sunday dinners over all these years.

Silly I know but I think of all the hands that have touched or gripped the wood and perhaps tiny traces of their DNA are held within - from my ad who died at the age of 47y when I was 23y, to my in laws who are no longer with us, and my lovely 87y old mum who died 2y ago now. I can picture them all sitting around it at different times to share meals with us.

And friends too. One who now lives in Australia. Another 2 or 3 who have since sadly died. One who came with his mum when he was a boy of 4y and took his own life 20y ago.

Some happy and sad memories from around this dear table. I will never replace it.
❤️?

Mary (Dale)!

Can you let us all in on the Mrs Dale reference please? I made a heartfelt post as have others who followed. Perhaps not the place for a private joke.

It’s a series that used to be on the radio ( the wireless!) a very long time ago.....Mrs Dales’ Diary.Mrs Dale was always ‘worried about Jim’.

It’s not a private joke ENO. Scroll back up to Jillybird Sun 02-Feb-20 10:21:39 - a couple of posters just gave a reply! It took me a minute to work it out though.
?

We have some friends coming to stay in a fortnight, for the weekend, which I’m looking forward to.I shall have to think up some meals beforehand, and clean the house ( gets it done!)?
We will never stop talking, even the husbands, who get along really well, and it will do us good.