Should we move to the USA?

What about buying/renting a small house or apartment near your son and spend six moths there and six months here? It might help you make an informed decision about your future without burning your boats in the U.K.

That was my first thought too Bossyrossy

Unless money isn't an issue I would look carefully at the healthcare costs on your next visit. Make it a fact-finding trip. See if your son would have to sponsor you and what your status would be there.

I know there is an ex-pat community in LA - speak to them as after all they have done this.

My son in his 30s now pays $900+ a month for partial health insurance. It's the best he can get apparently. He's no longer in California (which may or may not be cheaper/have different rules). He was happy there and loved the lifestyle. He lived near one of the beaches and his flat therefore was very expensive. Have a look around the areas you like and get a feel for prices. Don't rush into it.

Can you rent your own home out for a year here, and rent in LA to "try it out"? You could put precious items in store.
I'm sure that would make things clearer.

Good luck.
We lived in America for a year or so when we had a young family. Lots of things were considerably easier than here and lots of things we missed. The thing I suppose we missed most was the shared heritage. I wouldn't have really put my finger on that then, but you can speak the same language and make great friends (as we did) but you still come from a different mindset, a different place.
Sometimes we need to open up to change though - so certainly not all bad!

I think it might help to get more facts - would you be allowed to move there for example? And the health care is a huge issue. It’s not just the premium but the co-payments and then once you’ve had a problem, you may not be able to get it covered in the future. What a sad situation to be in

So sorry to read about the son you lost. Your surviving son must be very precious to you.

However the worries you express and very relevant. I think the idea of extended holidays is one you should seriously consider rather than a move at your time of life. But whatever you decide, best of luck x

My son used to live in LA, although he’s elsewhere in America now. I think the outdoor lifestyle there is wonderful, and it seems to keep people young.

However, as you rightly say, there are many issues to be considered, not least healthcare. I think trying it out for a while is the most sensible thing to do.

Is your son likely to remain in LA for the foreseeable future? That’s another thing to consider.

I’m so sorry you lost your younger son, that’s heartbreaking.

Would love to have you! Seriously though Calif. is so expensive. My only child lives near San Francisco and I’d move there if I could afford it. So looking at expenses would be my advice. If you can afford it go for it!

NotSpaghetti, what were the things that were easier ?

Good idea to give it a try first MamguLiz I can understand you would want to be close to your family but other considerations may make it stressful for you.
Is it possible to go for a more extended stay and rent a place for yourselves. Try talking to others who have moved out there too. I agree with SueDonim check if your son is planning on staying in L.A. although of course things can change. I hope things work out for you.

Travel was easier as the area we lived had fantastic transport links. Children were accepted everywhere and life with an infant was easy. Changing utilities and the whole day to day thing of things being on time was great as was the outdoor life in the summer months. The "natives" were welcoming and cars at that time were cheap to insure. We were very lucky in that we had a VERY expensive health care package so it was amazing to have so much time with doctors and consultants.

Rather than spend time going round in circles why not start fact checking, most info is online, including the interviews and forms, costs , etc that you would have to in order to get a Visa.
(Unless your son is an American Citizen I don’t think that he will be able to sponsor you)
You can research health care costs online.
Also research areas you would want to live
At least when your husband starts on about it again you will have a list of answers to all of your questions.
We looked into staying in the US for 3 months a year, but due to DHs age and various health issues the Travel Insurance costs were horrendous.
I agree with the others, rent over there and keep your UK base.
I hope you have a lovely time though, it’s a great place to be.

How will you get a green card? It will be necessary if you do want to go.

I think it’s easy to get a green card if you have family resident over there? Don’t they sponsor you or something?

Sorry to be a damp squib on the enthusiasm of heading to LA. Friends I know who lived in the US tell me healthcare is extortionate and public transport non-existent as everyone drives. What are you going to do when your family are out at work all day? What friends or social life will you have. Buying a house over there is also expensive as is renting. You also have to consider what you are going to do if one of you becomes very ill or worse. I would think very carefully before taking such a giant leap.

LA is a city where you will need a car, certainly.

I know a couple who lived six months in their own home in the UK and rented somewhere six months in NZ every year.

Would you consider this? Or something similar, not necessarily six months?

I accept that money is a big consideration but perhaps you could rent out your UK home while in LA.

While in LA, you wouldn't need a huge place.

1. Do you have a US passport? What is your immigration status? Do you need to be sponsored to be able to live here?
2. What is your plan for healthcare?
3. How will you be able to support yourselves?
4. Is the weather something you can live with all year long?

Health care and medication costs are horrible. Can you come for visits with some type of travel health insurance from the UK? Gasoline is app. $3.90 a gallon in most states and California is much higher. Grocery costs are high, but don't count on the same quality food available in the U.K. I know time with GC is beyond value, but maybe consider them spending several weeks a summer with you. Teach them the beauty of their British heritage. I am an American?? ,but have lived in the UK ??. We loved our time in your beautiful country and the dear friends we made there.

britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/

I'm sorry for your devastating loss ..

I would also like to suggest a book, The Nordic Theory of Everything by Anu Partanan- In it she offers an accurate account of what it's like to transition from living in another country to the US -

Although I like the US I wouldn’t want to live there, the cost of living is not as cheap as you might think, decent quality food is expensive as is health care. Gasoline is cheap but distances traveled as greater so there is no gain..
If you son is a “citizen” you would be able to join him, possibly not if he is a “resident”. Best to rent a place for a few months to test if you like the lifestyle before you commit full time.
To me, frequent holidays would be much more attractive than living there

I agree with BossyRossy.
Also you could rent your property out until you decide and have an income.

The two children of friend of mine have both settled in Florida, one has an American wife.
My friends sold their large house and bought an apartment here and one in Florida.
They are there now, going every November until April.
Healthcare is the only reason they don't live there.
She has some complex health issues and her prescription needs every month means they could not live there.
She is also very cute as she has appts lined up for when she returns in April.
To be fair they are in Bupa and do not rely on the NHS for ops etc but do for medication.

MamguLiz I would simply say go for it and don't waste time over-thinking it. Of course you will explore the medical side of things and this will be a big part of your considerations but you could likely find a way around things. We moved 300 miles from 'home' to be close to daughter and son-in-law at their request when she became pregnant and although it meant selling a family home with lots of memories and uprooting my mother who could no longer live alone, we made new memories and those two grandchildren now almost in their teens bring us daily joy. You are young and fit and will find lots of other things to do and make new friends so you won't be living in your son's pocket. 70 is the new 50 so they say. I believe that.