Help My Daughters Husband has changed his mind & wont allow my Daughter to celebrate my 50th Birthday with me

Yennifer. It was my Daughters idea to go to Butlins she’s sorted her fancy dress & sent me a photo. She asked her best friend who is. Y best friend Daughter

It is her husband

She has done this a couple of times before & Iv suffered the loss of money m
We have been having a great relationship

Her husband snaps his fingers & she does what he says every time everyone can see it but her

I just can’t understand why he is ok with her father especially after what he did when she was 11 but he’s not ok with me it’s so unfair
They are the only family I have left & I can’t take it much more

Every time my daughter & I make arrangements & if he finds out he moves the goal posts

She meets me secretly because he would say no x

NK, you seem to get yourself into some family scrapes? Sorry if that sounds unkind, that is not my intention. Could you talk to a prefessional and try to unpick and understand what is going on?

Please don't think I mean to be unkind but maybe asking for the money was the wrong way to go. Understandable given your upset and frustration but would have pushed her further away. Maybe give her some space for a bit, then send an apology, no ifs or buts, and tell her you are always here if she needs you, then leave the ball in her court. I can't really comment on her husband given the info but if there is abuse there she just won't see it until she sees it and maybe won't hear it from you if there have been past problems x

I think you should back off Nannykisses. Invite another friend to take her place. I think you will just have to stand the loss. Don't let your relationship with your DD deteriorate further because of this. It is not worth it.

M0nica her Husband is not encoroughing her to have a relationship with her Father but has has gone along with it

As I said. Her Father doesn’t even bother with her at all he just gives the bare minimum on birthday & Christmas he’s only seen the younger Granddaughters who is 7yrs old 4 times

But it does still worry me that they have gone out of their way driving 600 round trips to see him
My Daughter said each time it was for closure & an apology which she has never received from him
But her her husband is totally against her having a relationship with me. When I do & have done EVERYTHING to help them all as a family & individually debts place to live big expensive presents & lots & lots of love
My Daughter & I have had a up & down relationship partly because of her allowing her Dad I her & her Daughters Lives
We have been having a great relationship for the past 6 mths & everything was looking great until her husband said she can’t come now she’s blocked me. I’m desperately hurting x

Your daughter asked her husband and he said SHE CANNOT GO AND SHE IS DOING WHAT HE SAYS? Then you say he has encouraged her to build a relationship with a father who sexually abused her!!

Forget all all she says about him not being a controlling husband he is most emphatically just that and the way he wants her to reconnect with a sexually abusive father and allow him contact with their two young daaughters would make me very worried about the danger he may be to them.

Perhaps another poster can suggest solutions. All I can do is ask you to step back look at your daughter's marriage with a cool clear eye and try to think how this cannot be a controlling marriage with a father of daughters who is acting in a way that would leave me worrying about the danger of sexual abuse.

Are you sure she hasn't changed her mind and is using him as an excuse because he has agreed to take the blame to protect her? My husband has done that for me. Maybe you both need to work on your relationship before planning trips away together x