Husbands friends.

Distance yourself Londonwifi you don’t need them love

Trendynannie - they’re all a bit weird!

No don’t ask your husband to speak to her husband about this, as it’s really childish

If you think she has an alternative agenda and isn't just trying to be nice then does it matter if you're less than polite now after several 'no thank yous' ?
'Its not my scene/thing' could work?
'Please stop asking me, its wearing ' ...??
Honesty can be the best policy.
I really wouldn't ask your husband to speak to her husband, we're not living in the 1920s....

My brother invite me to his 60 th birthday bash ( he lives in a different European country)) Luckily I'd thought about it and neither me or my dh wanted to go but felt we'd have to.when he asked I said We appreciated the invite but wouldn't be coming,it wasn't for us.
He was a bit taken aback and miffed but accepted it. I phoned on his birthday and hoped he had a lovely time.Tbh he showed me photos and it looked as I thought, not our sort of do.
Plus, it earnedme LOADS if brownie points with dh for refusing the invite!
I got sick of doing things I knew I wouldn't enjoy. No need to be unkind, just say it's not your thing. Good luck!

I can't be horrible to anyone, even if I don't like them. I'd say, that's very kind of you to invite me but it's not for me,thanks.
That way you're not being unkind.

I agree with GrannyAnnie life is too short just be honest or you will be dancing round this forever.

As for getting the husbands to sort it out, well words fail me.

Keep on saying no.
If you feel you could, then accept once so you can say, “No thanks, I didn’t really enjoy it last time.”
You can say no without that. I hate socialising with people I don’t really like.

Does your DH know how uncomfortable this woman is making you? If you feel that politeness is getting you nowhere, maybe he could have a quiet word with her DH?

What are her other friends like Londonwifi

Exactly what Granny Annie said.
Or just say NO and walk away.
Don't make a problem for yourself, life is too short to faff about with disagreeable people.

I think the time has come to be less polite. This woman cannot understand a polite refusal, so next time she asks say, "Sorry I don't have time."

If she persists in wanting to know when you will have time, you may need to say that you don't think you ever will have time, as you don't feel you have anything in common with her.

She knows you won’t go out, I feel she’s got some sort of ulterior motive, why else would you keep asking. She doesn’t sound like someone you like anyway, so chances are you wouldn’t enjoy yourself, I would say as I’ve said before I’m happier doing my own thing, or whatever comes into your head

I had the same thing - the wife of one of my husband's friends kept ringing, texting me. sending me little photos via the mobile 'phone. She used to come and sit with me when we all met up (a group of us) and drone on about some woman she doesn't like. She's a bitchy woman (nobody in the rest of our group likes her), so I stopped replying to her texts, and then blocked her number on my 'phone. She didn't get the hint, so now the group of us meet up without this woman and her husband (my husband's friend - they still meet but when she's not there.

Good Lord! Just tell her the truth, for goodness' sake. Tell her why you don't enjoy her company. She'll either never speak to you again, or consider what you've said and change her ways. The more you (white) lie and pussyfoot around her, the longer this situation would remain.

As a bit of an introvert, I have found that you only have to turn down 4 or 5 invitations and then people stop asking.

I am very passive aggressive in my approach, I just make an excuse (busy elsewhere OR working etc). They always get the message with no rudeness needed.

just say you dont feel comfotable in groups or meeting people. tell her its a mental health issue .i am the same i never go out in a group certainly not to people i dont know or like. be firm say NO.

Just go once you have nothing to lose, then if she persists just politely say no and just say you don’t have much in common. It’s not worth making a big issue over for when you meet up with your husband.

I'd go, just once. It might, in spite of everything, be fun! And if it's not, maybe don't go the next time.

Say thanks for the invite but you are not really into socialising much and you have a lot of stuff to do at home. That's all you need to say. If the invites persist, just smile and say "Thanks again, but please stop asking me as you will always get the same answer."

I agree with Rosecarmel. I have experienced similar. Its unsettling when they are so determined to ingratiate themselves into your life/family. Don't crumble, trust your instincts.

My excuse whenever I have been invited out by someone who is not a friend is," Thanks so much for asking, but I barely have enough time to see my oldest friends".

polite, but no thankyou..

Don’t feel guilty for not wanting to go and don’t feel you need to make excuses or even explain. Practice saying something along the lines of ‘thanks for asking but I cannot come ‘ . If you can keep cool and calm as you say it, no hint of feeling anxious or apologetic and she’ll eventually get the message.
Remember, it’s your life and you can make choices.
Good luck.

Thanks everyone. Your answers have helped me.