Husbands friends.

Well you have said you've tried everything to get the message across politely, so now the gloves come off. Just smile sweetly and tell her straight you don't want to meet up. Ask her not to ask you again. Be straight but firm.

I will always say, ‘That is so nice of you to ask me to join you, thankyou, but I am not the social butterfly that my husband is, so I will politely decline’
That usually suffices when my DH friends partners ask me to go out with them.

If despite everything she still asks you, then just continue to politely decline.
You don't have to elaborate or be confrontational. You don't care about her so don't waste any time or energy worrying about her.
I imagine she'll get bored and give up eventually!

I don't do well, or feel at ease in company (with very few exceptions) and if I have had a persistent invitation, which has happened over the years, I've simply said so.

This is a genuine case of, "it's me and not you".

Why this woman hasn't got the message yet I cannot see.
Like you, I suspect an ulterior motive. Don't be drawn in by this arachnid.

Londonwifi, it sounds like manipulative bullying disguised as an invite-

I experienced similar with one of my husband's friends- After agreeing to attend a few events it was evident that the friend was manipulative, inserting herself in others personal lives- After a while I declined invites-

it can be a bit tricky if they are your husband's friends.
but she sounds a bit domineering. don't be drawn in.
least said the better.
no thanks, not for me. and don't hang about after saying it.
just repeat as necessary. don't discuss, don't deviate, don't justify. use broken record method.
good luck.

Thanks everyone. Your answers have helped me.

Don’t feel guilty for not wanting to go and don’t feel you need to make excuses or even explain. Practice saying something along the lines of ‘thanks for asking but I cannot come ‘ . If you can keep cool and calm as you say it, no hint of feeling anxious or apologetic and she’ll eventually get the message.
Remember, it’s your life and you can make choices.
Good luck.

polite, but no thankyou..

My excuse whenever I have been invited out by someone who is not a friend is," Thanks so much for asking, but I barely have enough time to see my oldest friends".

I agree with Rosecarmel. I have experienced similar. Its unsettling when they are so determined to ingratiate themselves into your life/family. Don't crumble, trust your instincts.

Say thanks for the invite but you are not really into socialising much and you have a lot of stuff to do at home. That's all you need to say. If the invites persist, just smile and say "Thanks again, but please stop asking me as you will always get the same answer."

I'd go, just once. It might, in spite of everything, be fun! And if it's not, maybe don't go the next time.

Just go once you have nothing to lose, then if she persists just politely say no and just say you don’t have much in common. It’s not worth making a big issue over for when you meet up with your husband.

just say you dont feel comfotable in groups or meeting people. tell her its a mental health issue .i am the same i never go out in a group certainly not to people i dont know or like. be firm say NO.

As a bit of an introvert, I have found that you only have to turn down 4 or 5 invitations and then people stop asking.

I am very passive aggressive in my approach, I just make an excuse (busy elsewhere OR working etc). They always get the message with no rudeness needed.

Good Lord! Just tell her the truth, for goodness' sake. Tell her why you don't enjoy her company. She'll either never speak to you again, or consider what you've said and change her ways. The more you (white) lie and pussyfoot around her, the longer this situation would remain.

I had the same thing - the wife of one of my husband's friends kept ringing, texting me. sending me little photos via the mobile 'phone. She used to come and sit with me when we all met up (a group of us) and drone on about some woman she doesn't like. She's a bitchy woman (nobody in the rest of our group likes her), so I stopped replying to her texts, and then blocked her number on my 'phone. She didn't get the hint, so now the group of us meet up without this woman and her husband (my husband's friend - they still meet but when she's not there.

She knows you won’t go out, I feel she’s got some sort of ulterior motive, why else would you keep asking. She doesn’t sound like someone you like anyway, so chances are you wouldn’t enjoy yourself, I would say as I’ve said before I’m happier doing my own thing, or whatever comes into your head

I think the time has come to be less polite. This woman cannot understand a polite refusal, so next time she asks say, "Sorry I don't have time."

If she persists in wanting to know when you will have time, you may need to say that you don't think you ever will have time, as you don't feel you have anything in common with her.

Exactly what Granny Annie said.
Or just say NO and walk away.
Don't make a problem for yourself, life is too short to faff about with disagreeable people.

What are her other friends like Londonwifi

Does your DH know how uncomfortable this woman is making you? If you feel that politeness is getting you nowhere, maybe he could have a quiet word with her DH?

Keep on saying no.
If you feel you could, then accept once so you can say, “No thanks, I didn’t really enjoy it last time.”
You can say no without that. I hate socialising with people I don’t really like.