I have had an allotment for many years (I am now 73) but a few years ago, realised that I could not manage the heavy work any longer. There was a neighborhood forum on the 'net at the time and so I posted on there that I was looking for someone to help me. I also made it clear that I could not pay anyone but that they would get a fair portion of the fresh fruit and veg I grow.
I was very pleasently surprised at the reaction and went through the "applications" carefully, bearing in mind that I am not the most sociable of souls. I eventually invited a lady named Margaret who, from what she said, lived right next door to the allotment (which would solve my evening watering problems - it is a 20 min drive from my home).
We got on well, although she was more than green, never having had as much as a window box to look after - she didn't even have houseplants! She was married, in her early 40's with 2 children and although it was initially a bit of a shock, she began to really enjoy it. She has now been helping me for about 4 years.
Usually, we meet for the final time at the beginning of autumn when we clear up the site and we then both go home until spring. This year we couldn't even do that because of that series of storms. However, just before Christmas I thought it might be nice to show my appreciation of her efforts and so I got her a gift.
I didn't want her to feel obliged to buy back so I decided to leave it until the last min before contacting her. The day before Christmas Eve I called her mobile, which went to message. I left a message saying that I would be up her way in about an hour and if someone was going to be home, I had something for her. I waited for over 2 hrs but there was no reply. Neither was there one the next day. Very unlike her.
I waited until after Cheistmas and New Year and then called her again. Again it went to message and this time, I said that I had not had a response to my previous message and wondered if she and the family were all ok? Please let me know. Not a work back. A few weeks later I sent her an email and simply said that as I had had no reply to 2 mesages I was becoming very, very worried that all was well (her husband has health problems) and would she please, please let me know? To this day, not a single word.
A few weeks ago I was talking to Marcia (allotment rep) on the phone and mentioned that I hadn't heard from Mags at which point Marcia told me to stop worrying because she'd seen them on the bus home from work just a week before.
I've been going up to the allotment for several weeks now and I still haven't heard a word from her until today, when I spotted a message from her on Facebook (which I rarely, if ever, visit). I have no idea how long it has been there.
So, what do I do? Pretend that all is well when in fact it is not? Tell her that I am hurt and offended that someone I thought was a friend has ignored my messages?
I am half irate and half very sad and my immediate reaction is to ignore her just as she has ignored me. That might well be childish but if nothing else, what she did was just plain rude.
I would love some opinions.
BelindaB Sat 28-Mar-20 12:42:56
ElaineI Sat 28-Mar-20 13:05:11
Hithere Sat 28-Mar-20 13:23:21
Hetty58 Sat 28-Mar-20 13:30:14
Sussexborn Sat 28-Mar-20 13:39:04
rosenoir Sat 28-Mar-20 13:58:43
wildswan16 Sat 28-Mar-20 14:39:23
Bridgeit Sat 28-Mar-20 14:58:25
ValerieF Sun 29-Mar-20 13:03:09
BelindaB Tue 31-Mar-20 13:14:17
BelindaB Tue 31-Mar-20 13:15:28
Oopsadaisy3 Tue 31-Mar-20 14:59:48
OurKid1 Tue 31-Mar-20 15:09:47
ValerieF Tue 31-Mar-20 17:45:16
Greymar Tue 31-Mar-20 17:51:53
fasdfee33 Sun 07-Jun-20 14:28:33
Oopsadaisy3 Sun 07-Jun-20 14:55:17
Elegran Sun 07-Jun-20 15:03:34
MawB Sun 07-Jun-20 16:48:37
Elegran Sun 07-Jun-20 17:13:14
MawB Sun 07-Jun-20 17:14:55
Elegran Sun 07-Jun-20 17:31:07
Elegran Sun 07-Jun-20 17:31:32
Namsnanny Sun 07-Jun-20 17:43:48