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Does my partner have a problem ?

(30 Posts)
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Greymar Mon 06-Apr-20 08:45:09

I'm sorry, this doesn't make it right or kind but I think there will be a lot of erratic behaviour and alcohol consumption going on these days.

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Flakesdayout Mon 06-Apr-20 08:42:17

Thank you to both of you. Mum - when he drinks at home he will not always stop at one or two cans but beer is more manageable. He was hunting around on Friday finishing off a whisky that he didnt like, finishing off a small amount of rum, it was almost an obsession. If we are out at weddings or similar I have to keep on at him about his quantity and to pace himself. Rose. He has had these underlying issues for a long time "you need a drink to enjoy yourself" and when asked he will say he just likes the taste.
Yes maybe suggesting a problem was not the right thing to say and Im hoping he will feel rough today. That means though that I will not have an especially nice day treading around him and his mood. This isolation has only been for a two weeks and Im dreading the rest of it

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rosecarmel Mon 06-Apr-20 06:21:59

Drinking in excess in general depends on underlying issues, such as "why" one might feel inclined to drink enough to get drunk-

Alcohol consumption has increased exponentially recently due to pandemic related stressors- I just experienced a similar matter myself with a family member that's in a stressful marriage on the best of days-

Rather than focusing on dependency I focused on talking about the problems the drinking is dependent upon, or in other words, discussing what's driving them to drink-

Suggesting they might be alcohol dependent during a crisis would only add fuel to the fire-

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mumofmadboys Mon 06-Apr-20 06:05:19

I am sorry your partner has behaved badly. Is this a one off or does he often drink to excess? Is the lockdown stressing him unduly? If this is a one off perhaps it is best to let it go. If he regularly drinks too much perhaps you need to try and find a suitable time to discuss it with him. He may well be cross with himself having made himself sick and he will probably feel rough this morning.During lockdown there is no escape from each other so it is best to avoid confrontation if possible.. Hope things improve. If he feels rough he may learn a lesson without you having to say anything.

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Flakesdayout Mon 06-Apr-20 03:47:39

Some of you may recall last August when I wrote about my Partner, his hobby and his selfishness. I was waiting for and got my medical diagnosis which wasnt nice, long story short, spent 3 weeks in Hospital having treatment and came home end November. For a while I was quite poorly and the recovery will be a long process but I am slowly getting there. My partner has been quite supportive and I think my illness gave him a scare. As my immunity has been very low I have been isolated and extremely careful when going out. Due to Covid 19 this will be ongoing and I am currently shielded. My partner is now furloughed and will not go out due to the risk of bringing the infection home.
Yesterday we had a nice day, in the garden pottering around and it was nice and relaxing. This all changed when he started to cook dinner. He opened a bottle of wine as we had no beer in the house (his tipple) and unbeknown to me he drank the whole thing and then started another bottle of Prosecco (not his drink). His mood changed. He then started complaining about the dinner, the meat wasnt right, everything was S""t and so it went on. I told him to leave his dinner and that he really had a problem. I decided to go upstairs out of the way. An hour later I heard him in the cloakroom being sick, extremely sick. He went to bed not long after. (we sleep separately)
I have been aware throughout our relationship that he likes a beer, weekends usually and if we do go out in the evening will have a few to drink. I myself am not a heavy drinker (been there done that during my divorce) and am now tee-total. What I want to ask is this is a form of alcohol dependency? What is the best way for me to deal with this?. I am planning get rid of all my bottles of Prosecco which have been collecting over the past couple of years as I do not want a repeat of today. He never gets violent when drinking but it has an awful effect on me mentally when he gets unpleasant. What are your thoughts?

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