Porn

This made me smile but really because of a personal matter which happened yesterday. I was trying to log into a bank when the next screen gave me five selections of the type of porn I would like to watch. I didn't opt for any but turns out I had omitted one word in the initial address!

No they don't always do it to themselves. One can be coerced into drinking and into drug use too.

Well Bridgeit the OP didn't say she was coerced or bullied into watching it or participating, not can you say, with any certainty, whether those bring paid to perform on video or pose in mags, are exploited, bullied etc. into taking part.
Students often use it as a way of making money even housewives take part with their husband's blessing.
One cannot assume the worst just because you yourself don't agree with it.
Yes, some are coerced but then again, some are not and who's to know the percentages.

Those things you mention are what person does to Themselves!

My main concern is the phrase ' he laughs when I try to seduce him'. Most husbands are delighted when their wives try to seduce them, so I think there is a problem with your relationship and it isn't just his porn habit.

It CAN be destructive but so can alcohol, prescription and illegal drugs, gambling...the list is long.

Exactly,Well said Luckygirl,

For me it is respect that defines "normal" - porn is not about respect; it is about exploitation.

Of course not Gabriella,
We are talking about those who are coerced, bullied, etc etc
Those who cannot defend or remove themselves etc .
Or at least that is who I am making reference to.

Society has 'normalised' many things over the years. All kinds of body surgery, tattoos, piercings LGBTQF...you name it.
Watching or looking at porn mags is no different.

In other words, it's not odd, any more than anal sex is not odd to people who enjoy it, nor 'watersports' the use of sex toys, dressing up or any position which is not the 'missionary'.
Good grief. Ask yourself a few questions. Is homosexuality or lesbianism odd?

And the more society normalises some behaviours, the more woman ( usually it’s woman ) are put under pressure to accept it.

I should add , for some what others would class as extreme another , depending on their circumstances would call normal.

Who’s normal is it GabriellaG54?

Xx

Watching porn does not mean has lost interest in you, not at all.
Some men just like it and that's ok, as long as it's not extreme or becomes an overriding habit.
I've watched it myself years ago but it was no turn on for me and frankly, it seemed ridiculous.
Top shelf mags and porn can be, I suppose, a release for men, mentally (and physically) and men can more easily separate loving sex within a relationship, from the act of sex itself, which many women can't do.

I'd leave him to it but please don't start thinking there is something unappealing about you, size-wise or any other way.
It might be an idea to ask him what he finds gratifying about it and talk openly about his thoughts on the matter, rather than him feeling it has to be a 'secret' to be indulged when you aren't watching or likely to be questioning him as to what he's watching.
Remember, it's normal...when not in the extreme.

Bridgeit, yes I know, babies and infants x

Iam64, & sadly & incredulously even younger, very much younger.

CarlyD, thank you ,I could have written the same post, including the young mother used in so called 'child porn', although the mother who always comes into my mind and my heart when I read threads like this was 4 when first involved in making 'films'
It isn't a harmless industry. Its exploitative and increasingly, normalises behaviour that just is not normal and is damaging. I don't think we need to debate what a broad range of behaviour 'normal' covers. we're old enough and experienced enough to know.

Point out to him that the brain works by reference to fixed points, not in absolutes. What that means is that if he's looking at porn models, no normal human being can compare favourably. He needs to stop looking at the unattainable and appreciate the person in front of him.

It's very brave for people to talk about their experiences

Grannygrumps1 and Harv1 - I am very sorry that you are both in the situation of porn destroying relationships. I do think you illustrate very clearly how insidiously destructive it is, to both the viewer and the viewed.

Big hugs, Harv1, best wishes. Stay strong.

Vampirequeen ... just to reply about mature men seeing porn different to teenage boys, I disagree.. I’m 67 my husband 64 married 33 yrs in proses of splitting up !!... through my husband viewing porn and starting to play a game XDays on line and his phone and talking to young old women very explicitly ... from porn to sextexting to lying through his eye teeth and talking like a kid of 16 .... Porn I agree can be enjoyed by both . But in a lot of cases it leads to something else that they want to put on there bucket list !!!.......... I hate what this selfish man has done to our marriage through lies, secrets , to telling me he can do what the fk he likes, it’s got nothing to do with me,to F off ...Well I’m going to because I really don’t trust him at all.....

Thankyou Grannygrumps1, for sharing this, some folks fortunately for them do not know the extent of the harm that is caused firstly to immediate family & secondly to others that the perpetrators may engage with .
Two consenting adults can do as they please, anything else, including pleading , threatening, & coercion is abuse .
Making use of one person & their body for ones own pleasure is not acceptable. Putting some one down,or implying that they should comply to keep another happy or stop them straying is emotional blackmail. ie , gives them power & control over another .