Hi ceejayjay, I’ve just caught up with this thread and I must let you know that from what I have read on Mumsnet etc this could be a very dangerous time for you, as he has the capacity to be aggressive.
Are you still living in the same home together?
If so, pack a small suitcase with change of clothes, any photos you might cherish, jewellery, your passport and anything that he could hurt you with by destroying it. Then hide it at a friends if possible or somewhere easy to grab in the house.
The next time he starts being aggressive grab it and get out of there, then ring the Police to remove him, before you go back.
Please look out for yourself!
And best of luck for your freedom.