One year relationship going pearshaped

As my DD would say WAW,

get shot of him and make sure you get any keys back as you slam the door as his backside leaves.

I think you are being used, moreover him saying it’s none of your business when he speaks to his family is particularly nasty, he should at least discuss it in general terms.

I’m in the opposite situation, my new partner moved in at my place, she gets an allowance as well as working 3 days. I value her companionship so some might say she has a good deal and she’s happy

You don’t sound happy with your partner, if he were to find his own place it would probably cost him £500 a month in rent alone, perhaps you should have a chat about that.

I think your instincts are right, you deserve better.

Sounds like he was looking for a mum not a partner

What benefits do you get from being in this relationship? None, by the sounds of it. He doesn't want you to be involved with his children or friends, gives you minimal financial help. Tell him to go, and get your home and life back. Then, when you're ready, find someone more worthy of your affections.

Tell him out now * Luckyloo* No feeling sorry for him etc.

Im with the other posters. What is this person contributing to the relationship? Is this what you want for the rest of your life? If not, you know what to do.

Tell him it is over. He is rudely excluding you from his life, is mean and disrespectful, just what are you getting out of this relationship? Tell him to sling his hook, he has only been in your life for a year and you deserve better.

You’re not married....get rid, and find someone who does care about you.

If you do not love him and having him there with you does not make you happy, then it is time to ask him to leave.

Are you afraid to ask him to go?

I am not saying it is right but if he is only staying with you then I assume he has his own bills and contributes to his child.

If it were me I would end the relationship as I do not see that it is going to get any better than this.

When you love somebody their faults and flaws do not bother you. I do not think you love him.

KTBO!

I’m no relationship counsellor but I’d be getting rid of him quicker than you can say Coronavirus. He wouldn’t do for me.

I love my DH cos he’s generous, kind, respectful, considerate and makes me laugh. I hope he’d say the same of me.

These traits are important to me and I would say are basic ingredients for a successful 2-way partnership.

Good Luck for the future Lucyloo x

SirChenjin, that made me laugh, good expression though

Lucyloo12, if it was me, I'd be ending this relationship now. I agree with the other GNs posting here: what are you gaining from being with this man? My advice is to show him the door immediately - and while you can. (Before he gets into your home on a permanent basis....) Wishing you good luck and a much happier future without him.

Time to show him the door. Mumsnet have a (very fruity) name for men like him - begins with the first four letters of cockerel and ends with lodger. It appears to sum him up nicely.

Be strong, tell him to leave and don’t relent and take him back. As others have said, it can only get worse and it sounds bad enough already.

Tell him to go - it’s your house and unless he has other redeeming features, he does not sound worth the effort.

I mentioned the money today and now I'm getting a distinct atmosphere. Awkward.

If he's behaving like this after only a year, what would he be like in, say, five years? Time to go, I'd say.

He is no longer making you happy and this will not get better.
Cut your losses and tell him to leave.
If you met someone a year ago you can meet someone again.
You certainly do deserve better.

What are you getting out of this relationship? Sounds like not a lot. I’d be inclined to say make a clean break now. Life’s too short etc.

I think he has got his feet firmly under the table don't you ? he sounds very controlling to me something which could get worse over time.
Tell him to move back to his own place and see what reaction you get from him,£180pds a month will go no where regarding bills just think how much he is saving not paying the bills at his own place he is taking the "Michael" you deserve better than this.