Gransnet forums


Virtual counselling

(10 Posts)
Lottielane Sat 16-May-20 12:58:54

Hi. My DH had an affair last year. We have been working through it but I still do not trust him and convinced he is still contacting her. I feel that we need some sort of counselling to try and work properly through this and come to a natural conclusion whether we stay together or part company. I have been recommended a great counsellor but due to CV19 is running her appointments via online. I am not sure this will work properly as think we need face to face meetings and in a different environment. Is anybody currently having counselling via online? sad

rosenoir Sat 16-May-20 13:23:56

I have not tried it but do not even like facetime so would not suit me.

Just do not commit to multiple sessions,try one to see if it suits you.

It must be very difficult living with somebody you do not trust at this time.

Bridgeit Sat 16-May-20 13:29:39

Why not make the most of the opportunity to get going with the online version until the lockdown is over.
Can you do FaceTime ? That way you can see each other , best wishes

Lottielane Sat 16-May-20 13:44:44

Yes it’s a little heightened going through this in lock down. I sometimes question if i am going mad! My fear about even trying one session is that It will not work properly and then he will not want to attempt it again at all

Lottielane Sat 16-May-20 13:46:34

Thank you - yes the platform the counsellor uses us Zoom so we will be able to see each other. I just wonder thar as we will be at home it will not work properly. Also we have a 10 year old daughter......

Think though as you say I may need to just give it a try

HAZBEEN Sat 16-May-20 16:18:41

I had online counselling some years ago but obviously not with zoom. It didnt work for me but that was because the connection was not always the best. I had been having one to one sessions before lockdown but these have since gone to telephone ones. The problem with them is my partner is often around and I find that I cannot be completely open when I think he is in earshot so I get that having your daughter in the house is going to be difficult especially as some of what you will be talking about is certainly not for her ears. This is a difficult decision.

Hithere Sat 16-May-20 17:17:19

Why not give it a try?

Nortsat Sat 16-May-20 17:36:20

I have a friend who is a psychotherapist with the NHS and their whole service is operating via Zoom. Their offices have been converted to emergency wards for Covid patients, so they have no choice about working remotely.
She finds it works well and she has 6 remote psychotherapy sessions per working day.

The principle would be the same for counselling.
If you feel things won’t wait until lockdown is eased, then it seems worth trying.

Best of luck and I hope you find a positive solution. 💐

wildswan16 Sat 16-May-20 18:05:42

I would not recommend you attempt this with your daughter in the house. Even if you ask her to stay in her room the consequences could be less than helpful if she overhears.

Video counselling however can work well and there is no reason you can't give it a try.

Lottielane Sat 16-May-20 18:37:52

Thanks all for your messages. All make sense even if different thoughts. I think, as most say, would be hard whilst our daughter is around to do this anyway so I guess I am going to have to wait