Has Lockdown bought you closer to your family.

Yangste1007 - loved your post! No you aren't alone in embracing the lockdown. Maybe now is time to assert your wishes? Sometimes adult children really take the proverbial P out of parents with regards to childcare. Use this time to plan for your future and what you want out of life. Don't feel guilty about asserting yourself. Do it!

I understand what you say Lemongrove, sometimes we never think about what we really want because most of the time we are worrying about a grown up family, who are living their lives the way they want to.

Lockdown hasn`t bought us closer but it`s made us all realise how much we love and miss eachother.
My eldest son phones me every other day to make sure i am okay bless him,i keep telling him my Dh would be the first to let him know if things were different,but he wants to hear i`m okay himself.
My Dil`s and my younger son make a point of phoning every week.
I also had my Grandchildren send a Birthday video to me singing Happy Birthday to me and finishing off with I LOVE YOU GRANDMA to which i burst into tears.
I shall treasure that forever.

This is a good question Sparkling and in fact I have been so busy in the past few years ( family all live close to us, nearly all have health problems) that in dealing, or helping them deal with things, I had lost some of the enjoyment of actually being with them....it’s hard to really describe what I mean.
The lockdown has been good for me in a strange way and made me think about what’s important and joyful in life and appreciate the family as individuals much more, rather than problems to be solved.?

Well we are a bit all upside down, our DDs are keeping in touch and DD2 visits with our shopping and leaves her dog with us as usual for a couple of days a week.
DD2 lives in Cornwall so we hear from them but no visits from GCs, which we are all very sad about.
MIL died whilst in a locked down care home, DD2 felt very alone and isolated as she was so far away from us all, plus she had the added trauma of finding all of her pet chickens killed by foxes one morning, she was in bits for a while and we were unable to go to her. But we had a family Zoom meeting with her cousins which helped her,
No funeral for MIL as all Of us AC are vulnerable or shielded, so DH wasn’t able to be with his siblings.
So it’s all been a mess and it’s DHs milestone birthday tomorrow ( his Mums would have been yesterday) and he retires on the same day, so we are all over the place and trying to find the positive things.
The weather is good and the rest of the family are all well, the rest will sort itself out in the months to come, Other families are far worse off than we are.

Just read your post, Barbs1

I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time.

We've been getting on great.

It's my DH and youngest DD here, and me of course. And the dog.

Daughter teaches down south but had come home for Mother's Day and stayed ever since!

She'll be going back next week which will be a wrench but we'll cope

I regularly message my son and daughter and their families.

We've not done Zoom or whatnot.

But we get clips of the granddaughters sending messages which is lovely.

Of course having so much brilliant communication at our fingertips make things so easy

I have not been a major player in the grandchildren's lives. No child care so it's not been a massive change.

I'm looking forward to seeing them all though

Er.. I suppose I should have said 'yes' before rambling

We are three. Me, DH and DS (24).
We eat together every evening. DS has a work contract from Sept., was travelling and so returned at short notice. He got into making bread most days and even some main courses.
Our other family are in Ireland. Occasional contact, no different.
Our unit of three has been gifted this time.
More tolerant, sharing workload (well, more than before lockdown ?).
DS catching up on life skills too

Some of these posts have made me very sad.
We have our children and bring them up as best we can. They don’t come with instructions.
And we are happy to see them get on with their own lives.
But it is hard when you are no longer important to them except in some cases when help is needed.
For those who have close and caring families be thankful and keep them close.
For others my heart goes out to you. Xx

Are people planning to carry on with more regular contact, now that things are easing?

No

Oh! I thought i'd get a smiley face (confused)

I have "seen" more of my family thanks to Zoom. We have a weekly Quiz and I have the privilege of reading a bedtime story once a week to my 3 year old great grand daughter over Zoom.(smile). Amazon is doing well out of this and I am becoming an expert on Children's books, which have best pictures and not too many words etc. I hope we will continue after they all go back to normal. My life isn't a lot different.

We have done well, I have seen much more of my son over social media than I would normally. We have all set aside Thursday evenings for a chat, quiz or some other game we can play remotely, it’s been lovely

My youngest son has been phoning once a week . He never did this before. But the one I had most contact with because of childcare hasn’t bothered. I only know how things are because d in l puts stuff on fb. Yes I know I could phone them but feel I have to have a reason.
I speak to my daughter once a week as I always have.

No.

It has confirmed how lucky we are to have a very close caring family. Plenty of contact in lockdown too, just in different ways. Looking forward to next week when we can see them all, although. too many of us to all be together at once.

No, I feel less close. Elder DD and family are in the USA, so that's no different. Younger DD used to visit regularly and her girls used to sleepover. Now we communicate via WhatsApp and we go round once or twice a week to speak to them from the gate, but it's not the same.

10 year old granddaughter rang us last night in tears. She had had a nasty fall off her bike and wanted a hug from Nana. She kept sobbing that she wanted everything just to go back to normal. I talked to her and soothed her, but I felt like howling too.

Yangste - I couldn’t have said it better myself.

In the past i have stayed at my eldest sons house to look after my two grand children all weekend while my DS and DIL went away. Sometimes it was from friday night until Sunday night or even more. Now they are 14 and 11 i hardly hear from them and after lockdown I did phone them. To my shock my DS (eldest son) said we were daft to stay in and they were going about their lives as normal! I was disgusted but didnt say it to him. How can my eldest son be so ignorant? My daughter is furloughed from her job and so is looking after my other two grand children who text now and again. My youngest son came home and works from home. I feel so sad at times when i think of how other people keep in touch with their families. It is always me getting in touch with my eldest son and i am tired of it all now. The lockdown has proved one thing - we have outlived our uses and that is it!

Yangste....???

Your honesty is so refreshing....a lot of us feel like that, I'm sure ....

Yes, I think so. Our immediate family, who all live some distance away, feel "closer" now, emotionally, and we're in more frequent communication. And one of DH's siblings (with whom for decades he's had minimal contact, despite trying: this due in part to their problematic spouse) has made a notable effort to keep in touch, much to our surprise.

Yangste

I applaud your honesty.

?

I would like to add to my previous post that I would like my family to behave like a family and exercise a bit of give and take and thoughtfulness instead just taking when they feel like it and pretending we don't exist the rest of the time. Maybe my family are normal but they only make an effort when they want something and I worry about saying no.

I’m with Nan79 in that I have one son, DIL and an18 month grandson. Pre-lockdown As much as I’ve tried I only seem to see them all when I’m caring for the little one 2 days a week. “Too busy” “will check calendar” is the reply if I invite as a family for dinner/tea. Exchanged Easter eggs on driveway with them all but DIL had face in her mobile phone until I tapped on car window! Baby was napping - took 5 minutes then they drove away. Hoped to maybe meet in Park next week, but reply was “awkward to keep baby from me” and “no time” but was happy to sit in my car and watch them from a distance if preferred.Sobbed my heart out yesterday. Taking a huge step back now, I will not beg and feel very sad. My son apologised over text but I feel I should now keep busy and occupied with other things till I return to work. My friends feel I’ve been treated badly but perhaps I’m expecting too much. My son has FaceTimed with little one but DIL never joins in. Is it just the son and mother relationship being totally different to a daughter etc?