Hi
I am married since more than 20 years.Im a beautician and my hubby is an ex military and a bit macho.All is great but with the job,daily things to do, my yoga I struggle to get some time with him. To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together before the covid. What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa or a dance sport but he refuses(im an ex ballerina), he wants tennis but i hate racket sport... So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let's try it...
Finally, after 5 lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the "fight part" in the end of the lesson.
With the virus, we can’t go anymore, so a few days ago, he asked me to practice at home. We used a mat for safety and worked on the moves as in training. After one hour he challenged me in a friendly match, like for the normal session “if I dare” and he’ll show me “who’s the boss, it’s not like dancing or yoga things…”.
It was the first time we have a match together. Well, we have same height and i practiced ballerina during years and yoga 3 times per week but he outweight me and he is an ex military so im not too much confident.. but ok let’s try it!
He tease me a bit telling me he'll show me who's my boss...
We hang each other kimono and turn around. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right, I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I pin him and count to 5 (we need to pin the opponent 5 sec to win). His face was all red and while I help him to get up I can't hide myself from smiling.
Now he seems really focus and we start again. I still smile while he seems really serious. I pull his kimono again and got him the exact same way. On the ground I quickly wrapped my arms around his head and I block his legs with my feet. I had a good grip he can't move so i count to 5 and win… Before I release himI whisper on his ear “ouch your ballerina got you badly this time, where is the tough soldier now?” I get up (and dance a bit to celebrate i confess) and prepare for the 3rd round but he said he didnt want anymore
Later I struggled not to have a strange silence that can sometimes happen. He says nothing and I make a monologue about housework. It seems that he doesn’t want to do judo anymore. I laugh a bit at first, asking him if it’s because I beat him, but he answers me aggressively that no, he just thinks it’s a waste of time.
I haven’t talked to him about it, but he looks different like he’s worried about something, like something is broken. I don’t know. He’s cold with me, never laughs, and seems even a bit depressed.
I didn’t want to hurt him, and now I don’t know how I can fix things. Atmosphere is now complicated..
What can I do?
