My Dad passed away quite suddenly a fortnight ago aged 91years, from a heart problem. I am the only child, and everything regarding funeral arangements and the legal side of things has fallen to my responsibility. I am Disabled myself, with very poor mobility, but my husband has always been very active and helped with my care.
Since Dad died though, his attitude has become quite vicious, he refuses to the simple things like bringing me a hot drink when he has one, and refuses to even make me a sandwich or carry anything through from the kitchen for me. I used to sit and cook simple meals for the pair of us, but hes even complained about having to wash the pans and utensils after that, and refuses to use the dishwasher for anything else other than Cutlery and Crockery.
Hes now taken to name calling, tells me that there is nothing femanine about me any more because my body is badly swollen with odema, and I suffer from pressure sores, which he has now refused to apply the cremes twice a day as prescribed to my legs and feet. He also is now refusing to drive me to any appointments, or even to post some important documents through the solicitors door down the road. His Sister passed away in January, and now he is refusing to return to the local village where she lived and he grew up, a place he once loved.
Im now wondering if this is part of his grief or if hes starting with Dementia himself, hes 79, and has always been a bit of a loner, but I have never seen him so nasty and unkind before, and we have been married for 35years. I suggested I talk to his Doctor and get him.some help, as I.know he will not do anything about it himself, but he just screamed a mouth full of abuse at me, before going outside to shut himself in our caravan on the drive, where he remains, leaving me to struggle with my care needs and feeling deeply upset.
Im now considering contacting the Social services adult care team, but I fear that he would just shut the door in there face when they arrive. My Daughter helps m a couple of times a week as a vunerable person this is allowed, she is my main carer and helps with all the laundry and cleaning needs, but even she has had enough of his behaviour now, and says that things cannot continue as they are. Sorry about the long post, but today I have just about had as much as I can take of him.
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