Could my husband have aspergers?

Thanks so much for your insights. I could write a book on the problems we've had but I do love him and I agree with Bluebelle in that I don't think I have anything to gain by 'accusing' him of something he can't help. I think I will be able to come to terms with things more now I have an inkling of why things are as they are. Travelsafar I bet we could compare notes for hours! We don't have children as it's a second marriage so that's something I don't have to worry about. He doesn't like holidays, likes everything done in a certain way, can't stand certain noises, has a strong interest which he spends hours on, doesn't get irony/dry humour, doesn't always pick up the mood of a conversation, will interupt me mid sentence to say something like 'wow listen to that motorbike' will not talk emotions, has very low empathy... I could go on. But of course he's also funny, can be very kind, very practical, does his bit round the house. I will keep reading about the subject and arm myself with knowledge.

I think we re all on the spectrum A diagnosis would not really help him because if he could behave differently I m sure he would have done
I can’t see any value in telling him of your concerns instead use the knowledge you have (hopefully) gained by reading up, by pinpointing things in your brain and change the way YOU behave to his quirks He won’t have the ability to change he is what he is, you can’t cure Asperger but you can learn to understand it and stop banging your head against a brick wall trying to change him
Having a name for his lack of being how you are expecting him to be isn’t going to alter it, it may make it worse as he may feel attacked for something that seems quite normal for him

Read up as much as you can and hopefully you love him enough to alter how you react to him
Good luck

I have often wondered if my husband has this. He too can not talk about anthing relating to emotions. Has no friends. Gets the wrong end of the stick and thinks it is critisium then storms off. He always says sorry aftewards but nothing every gets discussed and resolved. He shows off when we have company as cant deal with social situations. It makes life very hard. Does everything according to a routine and can be controlling in a way Sometimes i just want to walk away

BTW, when I say it's not always easy I don't mean to be negative about it. I sometimes find the communication can make things a bit lonely and the anxiety that can come with it has been very challenging at times (for him too, obviously). But he's a very loyal and caring person who makes my life better and I wouldn't be without him.

My husband is aspergic. It's not always easy and I think the aspergers in his family is one reason they are estranged - communication problems!

Some things to keep in mind is that aspergers people sometimes marry other aspergers people. It can present very differently in women. It is genetic. If someone is aspergic, it came from somewhere. It's also possible that you may have an aspergers child.

It's hard to give blanket advice because aspergers varies so much among individuals. If you have met one person with aspergers, you have met one person with aspergers.

How do I cope? It's not always easy. But we all have our short comings and aspergers partners bring strengths to a relationship as well.

I suggest doing some reading on the topic from autism positive sources.