Husband displaying infatuation

I'm sorry introvert55 I have nothing to add to all the good advice above, except I sympathise with your feelings of unease.
He is clearly quite invested in this relationship, what ever her take on it.
Do you have any friends or relatives you can talk to?

Not sure what to make of it but if he has been seeing her for ten years why are you seeing anything differently now? What is he actually seeing her for? Ten years is a long time in therapy for any reasons.

Personally I would just ask him outright why he needs to keep seeing her?

If he can't explain and you can't think of any benefit he is getting from it then tell him straight, you want him to stop!

If he refuses point blank without giving any good reasons he keeps going, you have your answer! Up to you then what you do. The whole thing does sound strange to an outsider to be honest.

Is he seeing her on a regular basis or occasionally if his condition worsens? I have seen a Chiropractor over a number of years because I can have pain flare ups not because I'm infatuated with the Therapist.

I've seen my current physio for just over ten years. I have an ongoing issue that needs maintenance. By this stage we know each other quite well and have what I would call a more personal but professional relationship that happens in the context of appointments. He never texts me outside appointments though and gifts have never been exchanged.

I too would look further into this. You know if his issue is something that might have needed ongoing visits for ten years. Other than maybe something small at Christmas, the gift exchange seems odd too. The deleting of texts would concern me more. Why the need for secrecy with a professional relationship?

I'm not sure what I would do other than talk to him about it and ask to see the texts. I know if my husband became uncomfortable with my physio, I would change or let him come along to any appointment he wanted to. Then he could either meet the therapist or see for himself it's all professional. How would your husband react to that suggestion?

Just wanted to give an update to those of you kind enough to reply, but before I do that I want to thank everyone for their postings as each one has been valuable to me in different ways. To those who recognised my feelings of being unsettled, and sympathised with that, I want to say that this is probably the single most important thing I needed at that time.
Anyway, the upshot is, I talked to my husband about this, and I believe him when he says that this is a friendship (not a love affair or a physical affair). It appears that this friendship has gotten a bit out of hand though. He has agreed not to see her anymore. I couldn't really work out what she was getting out of this strange relationship (other than money (!)) until I read about the 'damsel in distress' thing which some women do. I feel sorry for my husband (and myself, of course) that he has probably been a bit manipulated. As for reporting her, I am not that sort of person to ruin someone else's life, although I recognise that in not reporting her I may be allowing her to repeat her behavior in the future. Tis a conundrum for me. Why can't people just be decent?! Anyway, thanks all, what a valuable forum

Um, it's all very well blaming the woman Introvert55, but your husband is the one who promised to love and honour you, not the other woman.

Either he loves and respects you or he doesn't. Blaming the woman involved doesn't work, because it could just happen again with someone else.

So sorry you are dealing with this.I am a private physiotherapist working with NHS and private patients with musculoskeletal problems.
We have to be registered with the HCPC and work within our professional regulations. I would never give my mobile number to patients and undertake any private conversations . For a patient to receive continuing physiotherapy after a long period of time should perhaps persue other types of treatment,

He's been seeing a private Physio for over 10 years?
What on earth is wrong with him?
I'd like to say nip this in the bud but the bud seems to be well and truly open, sorry

You are the among the wrong person.
It is your husband who chose to engage in the "friendship" on his own will.
I know you believe his version of events but would be enlightening to hear the other side too

I’m glad this has been settled amicably, very often it doesn’t.
It is very easy for what should be formal relationship to slip into, casual friendship if appointments are frequent.

Professional therapists of any kind are not allowed “friendships” either. It must be absolutely professional at all time’s. If a text is sent at all it should only be an appointment reminder no more. I email my clients a reminder 24 hours before the appointment purely to avoid them forgetting . As others have said 10 years is much too long .

Personally I would
report her to her professional body, they would take a very dim view, her ethics are awful. How you react to your husband is up to you !

I think you should express your fear and anger to him. Apart from your right to good manners from him, he has a right to know he is over stepping the mark.
'Hit the roof' comes to mind.

The morals and professionalism of the therapist are neither here nor there as there a predatory women (and men)are ubiquitous.

Admiring someone who is not one's partner is fine but these feelings should be drastically controlled.

Me, I would be all guns blazing, 10 years of physio seems way over the top for any condition. I would make an appointment to see her, use a different name if it would help get you to see her and find out what is going on. Another thought, she might not take on women as patients1 Do you have a shared bank account, can you find how much she is charging. In the end it is your choice what you do, but 10 years is beyond belief.

Maybe it started out as a patient/therapist relationship but perhaps he not longer has therapy but the relationship has continued and 'therapy appointments' are the excuse?

If texting and banter is as far as any friendship has got no further action needed, the issue has been resolved, time to put it behind you and carry on as normal. Men and women are both susceptible to this kind of familarity, we do need to guard against it.

I can't understand why you are blaming the woman for your husbands behaviour
She isn't married to you
He is

I agree with BlueBelle.
I would also go to where she works and tell her supervisor whats been going on as she is being very unprofessional
And to be honest you dh can`t have much wrong to be able to jump out the car as you stated.

david you forget the gifts and jumping out the car to look for her ?
It’s really not about the husbands stupid infatuation if that’s what it is, but it is about the professional woman’s unprofessional actions
I m still curious to know how regularly he goes, over this ten year period and how much money he’s paid her and for what. .... was it Elvis that sang suspicious minds

alexa you are so wrong when you say The morals and professionalism of the therapist are neither here nor there as there a predatory women (and men)are ubiquitous
This is exactly where the problem is, people either in physical or mental pain can easily see their therapist as their saviour, lover, carer and it is entirely up to the therapist to make sure the relationship is completely professional once they have crossed that line by accepting gifts and exchanging a friendship it is extremely relevant and does need reporting
i m sorry introvert people are vulnerable when they are in pain and something like her actions could really tip someone ekse over so although you are happy with your husbands explanation (sounds as weak as weak to me) but that’s your business but She’s was the profession he was just the fool

Totally agree Bluebelle

introvert Have you ever thought of going with your husband to any of his appointments ?

Glad you managed to sort this out ❤

I think you have the patience of a saint! After 10 years I would be asking him just what the hell is going on. Is he paying for this? Why not suggest going along with him? That would puddle his head! Try and have a chat with him and get to the bottom of it but you may not like the answer. A good knee in the knackers usually works!

Do you think it's possible that the relationship between your husband and the physiotherapist is pure fantasy on his part?

Have you seen any evidence of her part in this "relationship".

Similar thing happened to a friend, he promised to stop seeing the woman concerned, who probably had no idea of his feelings, unlike your husbands therapist who is probably very aware.
My friend felt let down by the secrecy, his lies and lack of loyalty, and seriously considered leaving him. He was very contrite so eventually she stayed, but trust had gone and only now years later things are back to a new sort of normal, but will never be the same as it was.
Be careful Introvert. Try and talk to someone close to you about this, it helps.