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Divorce parties, what is your opinion

(26 Posts)
Buntie123 Sat 18-Jul-20 11:08:12

hi everyone

A few of my friends daughters are in process of getting divorced. My own son is getting divorced too and ex is planning a massive divorce party. feel quite disturbed by this, what is your opinion please, am I being oversensitive

aggie Sat 18-Jul-20 11:11:35

Not sure if a massive party is a great idea ! How insulting to the ex
But parties aren’t a great idea now with the Coronavirus thing still hanging about ?

biba70 Sat 18-Jul-20 11:14:03

how sad - and even more so if children are involved. Cheap and nasty.

MissAdventure Sat 18-Jul-20 11:15:21

I think it's pathetic, honestly.

Pantglas2 Sat 18-Jul-20 11:15:52

Seems a little unkind to me and not sure of the effect on any children involved. A private celebration of moving forward with positivity is one thing but hopefully no denigrating the fact that you loved each other once.

Chewbacca Sat 18-Jul-20 11:22:41

Not sure how I feel about this to be honest. I suppose, if one of the spouses has been the ultimate cause of the marital breakdown (repeated infidelity or abuse for example), maybe there would be cause for celebration but, as others have said, any children of that marriage could be hurt by it. They're still their mum or dad, afterall. Sounds a bit "off" though. hmm

MerylStreep Sat 18-Jul-20 11:27:04

Mine was so nasty and prolonged the last thing I felt like doing was to have a party.

GrandmaMoira Sat 18-Jul-20 11:49:41

This isn't a new thing. I know someone who did this back in the mid 90s.

EllanVannin Sat 18-Jul-20 11:57:13

Really bad taste, but it's a case of any excuse for a party these days.
I'm so glad to be living in the " dark ages " !

I don't like to see clapping at funerals either. It's something I wouldn't do. More bad taste.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 18-Jul-20 12:04:28

I can't quite get my head round it - why celebrate what is in effect a failure? Why not have an 'I failed my exams or driving test' party? In my old fashioned mind a party is a happy thing which should celebrate success.

SuzannahM Sat 18-Jul-20 12:08:20

That depends on whether it's a celebration of moving forward with your life or a celebration of getting rid of 'him', which I agree would be quite nasty. Many of us have rituals of some sort throughout our life dividing up 'then' and 'now' - graduation, marriage, various birthdays, etc. Although I can't say I had many of them.

I assume your son isn't invited! Maybe he ought to have his own celebration - a private party with his family or friends, a day out on his own to somewhere he's always wanted to go. A celebration doesn't have to be a drunken 'whoopee' affair, just something that allows you to say 'that's the past, now let's move forward' to something better'.

Buntie123 Sat 18-Jul-20 12:32:09

thankyou ladies, your opinions have been like a big Hug for me as I havent discussed this with anyone incase i thought I was been over sensitive goody two shoes just thought it was unkind x

sodapop Sat 18-Jul-20 13:01:40

I've heard of this before as well. Does seem to be in poor taste and a definite no no for me if there are children of the marriage.

timetogo2016 Sat 18-Jul-20 13:07:58

I have never heard of anything so pathetc.
Biba70 and MissAdventure are spot on.
I do wonder what goes on in some peoples head nothing i guess.

bongobil Sat 18-Jul-20 13:09:36

I have known people do this, I didnt when I divorced, back in the late 1990s, each to their own I suppose.

Izabella Sat 18-Jul-20 13:13:11

Oh yes! Mine over 20 years ago now and a celebration of freedom, safety and choice. It was an opportunity to thank the various friends and colleagues who had supported me.

eazybee Sat 18-Jul-20 14:41:49

No. Not a good idea.
There is always some sadness and regret, no matter how acrimonious the marriage/divorce.

Calendargirl Sat 18-Jul-20 15:09:45

Don’t know about a party, but does anyone remember the TV car advert, probably 25 years or so ago, in which a very attractive woman stalked off after getting her divorce and threw some car keys away, or something similar?

Probably remembered it all wrongly, but I think it was a celebration of divorce.

Sussexborn Sat 18-Jul-20 15:21:22

Seems to somehow trivialise the process which causes so much distress to the couple involved and all concerned with them. Definitely not if there are children involved. Every time you rubbish the other parent you are rubbishing 50% of the child.

I guess for some it’s a case of revenge and cocking a last snook at the other party, but seems a bit cheap and unpleasant to me.

GagaJo Sat 18-Jul-20 15:25:53

Personal choice. I wouldn't have done with my husband because it was desperately sad. But with my 2nd ex? Hell yes I would have done. It was like shedding a HUGE weight and I could have sung and skipped and danced.

Hithere Sat 18-Jul-20 17:16:32

These divorce parties are not new, at least in the US.

Divorce may be the end of a nightmare and a huge milestone to celebrate.

Grandmabatty Sat 18-Jul-20 18:18:37

When I was divorced I had been separated for a few years. The children lived with me and we had had some difficult times with their dad. I didn't have a party to celebrate what I considered a sad thing and a failure although it most definitely was for the best. However a small group of very close friends came over with wine to commiserate. I also didn't announce it as a big thing to the children as it was expected. But if it helps to have a party to move on, then so be it. It wasn't your relationship so you don't know all the details.

TrendyNannie6 Sat 18-Jul-20 18:24:10

They have been around for several years, each to their own but I think they are in bad taste, I certainly didn’t want one when I was divorced, not only do I think they are tacky, I would think about the children from the Marriage, and their feelings,

BlueBelle Sat 18-Jul-20 18:25:31

Very bad taste, you dont celebrate a failure and however bad one person is the other has failed as well
Really terrible idea I certainly didn’t celebrate I felt a rush of peace, a quiet acceptance, plus a tentative look forward to a better future ....but celebrate ....celebrate what? that I had three small children without a Dad, no thanks

Lucca Sat 18-Jul-20 18:28:17

Not keen on the idea of a party. My ex and I had a very amicable divorce and actually had a drink together to mark the decree absolute much to my mothers amusement