Found out that partner has been married twice..

I can understand maybe why he didn’t tell you when you first met maybe it just got harder as time passed to bring it up but I would still be upset and hurt.

I think so, he hasn't lied he just forgot to mention it as it was brief and over 40 years ago. I wouldn't see the problem myself.

Thanks both. @tanith Yes that's a familiar situation! It gets to the point when you can't mention it (for me it's often about asking someone's name!)

It was just such a big shock for me. We've talked a lot about it and I think it'll just take me a bit of time to adjust!

I tend not to mention my first Marriage, it lasted 2 years was nearly 50 years ago was brutal and I do not like talking about it.
Sometimes you try to put things behind you.
I have noticed people always want to know more than I want to tell them and can get a bit annoyed because I do not want to tell them all the gory details.
My business not theirs.

Thanks felice. Yes, a good lesson to listen to what people are telling you, and what they are not.
I think if he had told me when we first met I wouldn't have expected details. Finding out yesterday meant that I wondered why he hadn't told me.
But you're right, his business not mine.

I wouldn't be worried in this situation. It was so long ago, so brief, he probably rarely thinks about it.

Pressed send too quickly,
Quote' but why don't you want to tell me ALL about it', or 'it is for your own good to talk about it'.
'I need to know all about you to be a real friend', woman I had met that day !!!!
' It is very rude not to tell me what happened, do you have something to be ashamed off?'
Some memories are best forgotten and your partner has built a new life, and perhaps he feels as I do.
If I do talk about it I have nightmares for days afterwards.

My friend fell in love with a widower whose wife had died after a long marriage. Much later he told her that he'd had a marriage since, on the rebound from his wife's death and that it was a mistake which lasted only a few months. He hadn't meant to hide it from her, he just didn't think it was important enough for him to tell her. She was upset, but eventually understood the situation.

I suppose it does tend to make you wonder what else has been " forgotten " about, it would me. Then again if life is good to you between you then it shouldn't be a problem.

My daughter in law was married before and we only found out shortly before the wedding when my son mentioned her trying to find the divorce papers. I have let it lie as I gather it was short lived. Some things are better left in the past.

It certainly has no bearing on her marriage to my son.

I would check there are no other things he has forgotten to tell you.

If you are happy together I would let it lie. We do not have enough life left to reject the chance of happiness over something that happened so long ago. Grab every moment of it!

Don’t worry about it at all, I recently had to fill n aDBS form and when the form came back to me asking me to clarify my former names I realised I’d missed off my first (disastrous ) marriage, I’d completely forgotten it, it hadn’t featured in my life for so long .

I'm just reading Okive Kitteridge and Olive Again. Great stories about older relationships and life's complications

The marriage is 'water under the bridge' forgotten, not important. Don't fret.

When you get a second-hand man, he will have a history.
Do not know why you are fussing over this, it was irrelevant to him, so it should be to you.....

Women are allowed to have whatever boundaries they wish. I would find it odd that he hadnt mentioned it.

I'd be a bit wary in case he had forgotten anything else.
I think it should be fairly relevant, making vows to someone.

I think. if I ever met a new bloke and we decided it was going to be serious, I would want a tit for tat open conversation about all the issues we both thought were important to get everything out in the open up front, so there were no hidden secrets or surprises likely to emerge down the line. Number of marriages would certainly be on that list.

He didn't lie to you, you love him, let it go!

If it means so little to him, why bother about it?
We all have secrets to keep that even our nearest and dearest don't know.
Unless this first marriage seems to be affecting him in any way - and it sounds as if it isn't- put it back in the box and get on with your life together

Just because it means little to him doesn't mean the op should respond the same way, though.
It's not all about one person in a relationship.

I'm sorry but why is every detail of someone's life before you even knew them any of your business. It doesn't affect you. I don't understand at all. Have you been into detail of every man/person you've slept with.

I differ with many other posters.

Even if the marriage was a short one and a long time ago, I would still have liked to be told about it earlier.

All this ‘forgetting’ something as important as a marriage seems odd to me.