Some thoughts...... I'm on medication that completely kills off my libido, and I mean kills it off totally and completely. I was happy to make love with my husband if he wanted /needed to, but he was aware that I never reached an orgasm, (i had a pretty responsive body prior to this), but I won't deny I gradually over time used avoidance techniques (early nights, late nights etc).
Over a period of time and enforced abstinence, my husband has now joined me in the loss of libido club, in fact in the last 4 years we have made love 5 times! Like you though this has transferred to non sexual physical contact too. We have talked about it though, and I now understand better. Neither of us miss sexual activity now, but the lack of non sexual closeness is wrapped up in a number of things:
For my husband the hand holding, stroking, cuddling etc were all a part and parcel of building up to sexual activity. With sex dying off they have too. He is happy to hold me just for comfort or to meet any sexual needs I have, but needs me to instigate that closeness. (He doesn't think about it).
Happy? No not really as I've realised that his need for sex with me met my need to feel desired even if I didn't really want to go anywhere with it. But libido wise its not an issue.
Will it change? With my husband being in his 70's, (I'm 58), unlikely to change.
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