Security

He sounds unreasonable so one of your options is to divorce him now, after 11 yrs you should get a reasonable settlement, it will be less than half so dont expect the moon.

However, he cannot disinherit a spouse, even if he does not mention you in his will, you can challenge the will and claim maintenance. This of course will cost lawyers fees, but probably less than a divorce will cost, so to reassure yourself speak to a solicitor about a wife’s rights when her husband dies. Go to Citizens Rights Bureau first.

Best of luck

Sorry Flamenco , I posted too early. I want to wish you all the best for the future, with him or without him.
Davidhs - I don't think they are married ...

I too know of this happening to someone I know who was with a man for years looked after him when he was very ill and then died. His sons were soon there to get the money from the house she got nothing after 20 years with him. Lucky her mum had left her some money years earlier and she bought a small house and worked . If not at 62 she would be homeless. They want someone to look after them in old age without a thought about when your left alone with nowhere to go. Start looking after yourself now let someone else look
After him. Be brave everyone is right think of yourself and your future now

You are so right to try and address this now. This man has 2 properties, his house and his flat abroad and refuses to make provision for you should he die before you. A fair and reasonable man would discuss his will with you and give you a copy and not leave you in the dark like this. A nice man would want to make provision for his partner's future and know that she'll have a home in the event of his death.
What about his pension(s)? Has he told his provider he wants you named as his partner?
Why does he not marry you? Why is he withholding information from you? I wonder if he is already married?
Best wishes

yes i was beginning to wonder if he is already married, or else he just does not want you to have a claim on anything; why else refuse to marry, when you want to, after so long.
there is an old saying, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

So many people taking the trouble to write big thank you.

We have moved from leafy Bucks to fat North

I'm just wondering why as a grown woman you don't take responsibility for your own security?

Flamenco his behaviour doesnt suggest a lot of care or concern I'm afraid! What are you getting from this relationship that enhances your life?

Does he own everything, property etc? Do you have an income on your own right?

Don’t be foolish you are a carer for him and he hasn’t a thought about you and the kindness you have shown him for years. You don’t say ur age but I imagine late 50s early 60s. We don’t get. Pension until age 66 have u any pension if your own. If he had pensions at least u would be entitled to half if u married him. This happens so often to Women be brave sort your life out I wish u the very best please let us know how u get on