Getting Married

Unless its a rush??? job, you have managed to wait this long in making it legal isn't a wedding not just bride and groom but bringing both families together in celebration. Personally I would wait just that little bit longer when you can celebrate with both families present.

Ultimately it’s your choice. Doing it alone to stop any bad feelings is a good idea. But, for me a wedding isn’t just about the bride and groom. It’s a family affair, which should be celebrated by the two families coming together.

Your decision not theirs. Maybe tell them nicely that you are going ahead anyway and would they like to decide which sibling attends or else you will just ask someone else. Very disappointing for you but try not to let this spoil your day.

I would get legally married to safeguard both of your interests if the worst should happen.

Have a big party later maybe.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You can have a church blessing later (with a posh frock and a big party.)

Go ahead with it and both your agreeable kids as witnesses!
Perhaps for the sake of diplomacy your OH's kid's should be told this will happen with or without them, so they have one last chance to nominate a witness. Otherwise go right ahead and refuse to be strong armed.
Good luck!

Just say you are going to re think the whole situation
Then go ahead& marry in the registry office with two witnesses, unrelated.
Later have your big party with a Celebrant & a ceremony & ALL the children as witnesses.
Done deal ?

Not quite sure of current guidelines but can you not go and "do the deed" and meet your children at a restaurant straight afterwards? just a thought. Hope all goes well for you

My daughter had to cancel her wedding this year. Hopefully it will go ahead next year. She decided she wanted all her friends and family to enjoy the occasion with her so she is prepared to wait

Three years ago my lovely granddaughter got married and because her chosen venue didn't have the necessary licence she and her husband had the actual marriage in the local registry office the day before with just her parents ( my daughter and her OH) partners parents but also my other daughter and granddaughters siblings. In fact, quite a little gathering with lunch afterwards.
It never occurred to me to get upset that I wasn't there. The main wedding was lovely and they had a celebrant to repeat their vows under a tree in front of all the family and friends.
We had a fabulous time and to everyone there it was the real wedding.
So, do it your way janipans and hopefully your stepchildren will grow up about it.

My daughter got married just before lockdown and aside from her best friends,who were witnesses ,only myself and her 3 young children attended, plus the groom's daughter. She wanted to keep.it small so didn't invite her siblings or any other family. I don't think anyone was offended. They were lucky with the timing and managed to have a a party the next weekend for all their other friends and family. Just do it and good luck. It's your day

I would ask your soon to be DH to tell his children that you are going ahead and would really like one of them to be a witness.
If they still refuse then zi would ask both your children to witness the Ceremony.
All the best .

I don't have any advice BUT massive congratulations to you both

Your day, your choice, they are adults and should understand if they don`t that`s their problem.

Agree totally. Go for it and many congratulations to you both. Xx

I agree with all bluebelle has said

JuliaM oh wow and they got away with it good for them, that's quite a lot of years ? and how nice of the market stall holders and café van a true wedding breakfast ?

We married 13 years ago with a couple who are friends, my two children and first grandchild aged two months. My Mum was fine with it, we got home and my husband rang his family, in N Ireland to tell them. He is one of nine, the logistics in getting the extended family organised would have been horrendous.
So, a couple of weeks later we flew over and had a party, everyone was fine with it.

You have taken this decision sensibly and with great forethought in these difficult times. I am afraid "children" even as old as they are tend to be rather selfish and difficult at times. Just go ahead and get married and as you say have a big family celebration later when it is possible! Enjoy! May you have a lovely day!

Two of my elderly friends had lived together for years as Common law Husband and Wife with out their children ever knowing the fact, Everyone who knew tyem always assumed that they were Married and addressed them as Mr & Mrs H. As they got older, they decided that they did not wish their children to know about this, and plans were afoot for a Golden wedding anniversary party in their honour. They needed to act fast and very descreetly, went into town and booked the first available Marriage slot at the local register office, then nervously waited for the day to arrive. They just dressed in their usual clothes for a shopping trip, caught the bus into town, asked a couple of staff off tye local Market stalls tyey regularly visited if they could spare them half an hour to do them a favour, then made their way across the road to the register office to get married! Word soon spread around the market stall holders, and the regular little Cafe van quickly arranged a Celebratory wedding Breakfast of Sausage rolls, Tea and cakes, and they returned home happy from their Shopping trip with their children none the wiser of what had just taken place!

The older I get the less relevant marriage seems. Be happy living together.

Is there separate regulations for registry office weddings then? As my friends’ daughter got married (in church) at the weekend and there was a fair crowd of people there (from photos I’ve seen).

Friends of ours got married last week. Her grandson gave her away & his granddaughter was his best 'man'.
They are having a big 'do' when all this social distancing is over.
Seems a very good idea to us.

Just get married and ask anyone close by to witness it
You don't need to tell anyone, it's your affair
Have a party later and make sure you update your wills
Best of luck and all good wishes