Getting Married

Maybe elope to Scotland?

Or the eldest child from each partner? And then the family shindig when its safe to do so?

I can see both sides of this - a wedding is a family occasion and Id hate to miss one of my children’s or parent’s weddings. But it’s your choice at the end of the day- risk upsetting the children involved or put it off and hope the rules change. Could you get married in a different venue( non registry office) and be allowed more guests? Or is there a waiting list for that?

Exactly it’s the having one and not the others that is the sticking point as I said before have none or have all having one will just cause bad feeling

you are doing this to formally recognise the relationship you have; what you mean to each other; that each is the most important person in the other's life.
anything can happen at any time.
re medical decisions, tax implications, etc.
do it asap.
do not have any family there. i'm sure you can drag in the man who sweeps the front steps and the woman polishing the banisters as witnesses.
that also represents the local community, the public realm, which is really what gives recognition to your union.
later on you can have any kind of celebration you want, with meaningful word, acknowledgement of family members etc.

Your day, your way! Don't pussy-foot around them any longer! They should be being genuinely happy for you both rather than throwing a strop on how you want to do it. This is exactly one of the reasons that I would never get married to my OH! Doesn't stop us loving each other! Legal stuff is sorted too so why should we get married?!

midgey

Just do it without any children at all! I bet you could rope in two random witnesses. That way no one can complain/whinge! And you will be happily married, congratulations!

I tend to agree with this. Just have two unknown witnesses, a really quiet, strictly formal register office bit, then a celebration later on.
It’s a shame that no family can attend doing it this way, but just point out that this seems the only way to avoid upset.
It’s all right putting it off, but you don’t know what’s round the corner, if you’ve been shielding, you are obviously in a vulnerable category.

We married with just two friends as witnesses. Children all said they were ok with this. Later some of them said they would have liked to be there and were a bit hurt by our decision. I think on reflection I would have asked them all.
It's your day janipans but I can understand why they could feel resentful.

Just do it without any children at all! I bet you could rope in two random witnesses. That way no one can complain/whinge! And you will be happily married, congratulations!

It's just the formal bit, anyway.

Your wedding, your choice. I'm fairly sure that if you and your OH started to dictate their wedding plans, they'd be none too happy! So do what you want. And congratulations, I hope you have a wonderful day! ??

Just go and do it. Your relationship so your decision. Some people want to put their two pennyworth in when it’s not their business. They may well have found fault with whatever was decided.

First congratulations on your decision
You don’t say how many children you each have I have three and I can’t for a minute imagine having one with me and not the other two it just would not work at all, so I can really see your partners kids problem
You ve waited 12 years why not wait a wee bit longer and have them all there or have none of them at all then a big party as soon as you re able I personally think either of those situations would be better than the one you’re suggesting

I agree with MissA. It doesn't matter if your decision is "acceptable to them", it's what's acceptable to you that matters.

Stick with your plans, have a great day and congratulations.

Just do it without them! Do they always do what you want them to? It is your day so go for it.

I would just go and do it.
Just as I'm sure they would do what they wanted without pandering to others' preferences.