Do people really enjoy being on their own? Or is that a defence?

Oh my goodness, after people worrying just recently about me being "too much" on my own, it's so good to see this post and find like minded souls. Yes I love a chat with people but I have so much to interest myself. I'm like Charleygirl and love my computer, I'm on several Facebook social groups (try Happy Gardens 2020, a lovely positive site), I've just whatsapped with 2 friends, I play music, I do family history and I volunteer remotely for a hospital radio station for which I do internet research to find things of interest.
Away from the computer I have grown my first beefsteak tomatoes and runner beans (if they stay upright in this wind!) and learned the intricacies of a ride on mower so I can cut the grass.
I was a carer for my DH for many years and still have my daughter to worry about but now I find I have time for myself and my interests and lockdown has given me an ideal excuse. I know he would have done exactly the same!

I think you have to have a mix, I think that everyone should have quiet time alone. I often go off for long walks on my own, but I also do this with friends at times. It’s nice to have the choice.

I am an only child so I am very used to my own company & I do need to be alone sometimes. However I am also fairly outgoing - if a bit shy at times- & I like company.
I think we all like to be alone at times to recharge the batteries.

I'm on my own, I have just one sister, all the family that's left, and a couple of close friends, but they are married and since their husbands have retired they are spending time with them a lot more now. I chat to people when I'm out with the dog and shopping. Lockdown though put the kibosh on an odd lunch out or a show and I have felt lonely at times, just the dog and I. Find Christmas & New Year very, very lonely as my friends are with their families and I don't really hear from them over this time, but most of the time I'm OK.

Another loner here who loves socialising on occasions but who, since losing my husband, also loves my solo life. I live in a fairly isolated area, no near neighbours but very small number of family members 10-15 mins away. I am alone but don't feel lonely - 2 rescue cats (used to be 8!!) 2 dogs, one still a puppy. Lots of bird and animal life to watch, changing views of the mountains depending on the weather. When I do go shopping I can't wait to get back to the peace and quiet of home. Like others I like to have friends stay over, but much as I enjoy the company, am always pleased when they go home!! Just as well there are 'townies' as well as 'country' people but could never contemplate living in a town myself!

Solitude is a necessity to me; I’m a “socialised introvert” who loves reading, listening to the radio, and doing things in the home. I do enjoy the company of others in small doses but am then very happy to be on my own again. I do not plan on marrying again as “I’m never bored when I’m around”!

I enjoy my own company, but there is a big difference between being on your own and being alone. I am busy with elderly relatives and my DH has health issues which are demanding and I long for some time to myself, just to do what I want to do. However to be alone with no-one around at all would be very different.

I love my own company ? . I'm not saying I don't have friends , the friends I have I am selective about and we don't live in each other's pockets . I enjoy the company from my family but I also like the peace and quiet when no one is about . I live in the country so sit with no telly or radio on and listen to nothing but nature noises is bliss .

When I was first 'on my own' I hated every minute of it, but mainly because I needed to adjust to not having somebody to share love, laughter, tears, gripes, etc. However, now I've got used to it I don't know that I would want to share my home with anybody else (unless that tall, dark, millionaire turns up on my doorstep). I belong to many clubs and societies (all stopped of course because of Covid) so I am rarely on my own. It still feels very lonely, however, when I've had a good night night out that when I shut the front door there's nobody to chat to.

It’s great when everything in life is running smoothly. I have always loved being alone (no family& friends scattered across the country) I could go on holiday by myself & have wonderful days out alone. In the last few years, a succession of health issues have curtailed this & Then lockdown happened. I have often been frightened about my health & for the first time in my life, wished for company, just to distract me from my worrying.

I’ve only been on my own 2yrs at first I hated it but I’ve now come to appreciate that I only have to do what I want answerable to no one. I can spend what I like, go out and come in when it suits and do things my way all the time not that DH and I ever fell out over anything but I don’t have to explain.
I see my family all the time they come here or I go there but I like it when I have days/ weekends when no one comes and I can read all day or just potter. I miss DH but I’m learning to like my new solitary life long may it last.

I'm a bit of both. Love having visitors but also love being alone for several hours each day. OH is the same so we each have our own space at times around the house. He has his shed n I have the house.

After a life of being fully independent with career and the blessing of children, I was unexpectedly disabled last year and now find myself only able to move with extreme difficulty. The lockdown has been a nightmare of loneliness and remaining positive has been very difficult. I'd like to say I'm making the best of it so I'll say it and maybe sooner or later I will.

Just like to add my weight behind the assuring messages of others here that live alone. I love my own company so much I feel guilty and then I think am I kidding myself? I dunno but it’s working. I do think my dogs are a massive asset and great nonnassuming loving company and on dog walks you meet so many other kind people with whom to exchange feelings and humour without commitment- just delicious. Of course you see some horrors but you easily avoid them.

I live alone, no people, no animals. I work in a huge college & now have to work from home. I’m in Essex, son & family in Nottingham, daughter & family in Tasmania. All my friends are married bar one in Rothbury. I’m very lonely, no-one wants to go for a walk, grab a coffee. I was about to get a lodger or pet for company just before lockdown. Love my independence but miss companionship. None of my friends truly know how lonely I feel, they are busy with their own lives. I need to make new friends who are alone but wanting to do things like travelling, but in the meantime I just get on.

I lived with my late husband for nearly fifty two years. I miss his company and I hate being on my own. No one to share special moments with and discuss the day's events with. It's lonely.

Grantothree, I am happy on my own but also love meeting up with people. What I really don’t like and am very antisocial about are chatty strangers in cafes or on buses. People who want to talk the whole time. They might be very nice and interesting but I really don’t want to talk to them! I make an exception if the person appears a bit needy in some way and will chat with them for a while but otherwise no. The very worst thing is having someone chatty next to me on a long haul flight. 12 hours of pretending to be asleep, reading or watching a film is a challenge. I like to say hello when I take my seat and spend the last 5 minutes talking otherwise leave me alone !

I've been living on my own for almost 12 years now and can honestly say that I like it. In fact, it seems to be a necesssity now. I can't stand being with people for more than two hours.
I see my family regularly and have some local friends. But its short visits always. I know why I'm like this, I've had counselling to help me understand.

I live alone, and because of lockdown have had to rely on my own company and haven't minded that most of the time. I enjoy keeping in contact with my family and friends via the phone, texts, Zoom etc. Have found that I can sustain my own company most of the time, but on the other hand love a chat with anyone who is up for one. Not being able to see my children who live at opposite ends of the country is hardest, but I delve into my hobbies and get on with it.
I keep thinking of my Mum, who came alive when there was company or socialising, and found being on her own almost unbearable. Thank goodness she hasn't had to endure this past year. It would have been a torment to her.
Whilst enjoying the company of others I am always glad to get back into my own space and relax into it.

I do not live alone but it can often feel lonely in a marriage. We Get on ok but we each have our own space which is great, but there are times, especially in lockdown, when I long for a bit of company. My usual activities have closed down, with little chance of reopening this year. DH doesn’t go for walks and I hate walking on my own. I feel conspicuous. Just about everyone else has a dog, and I don’t want one of those. I miss friendships and hardly any of my acquaintances has kept in touch these past months. Yesterday I sat on a bench in a park and longed for someone to chat to. Thank goodness for the internet.

I certainly need plenty of quiet time in between people-time.
It’s just the way some people are.

OTOH I have a dd who’s always been intensely sociable - she likes to have other people around all the time, and usually does. Other dd is more like me.

I always have liked my own company!
When I was at work, I spent all day talking to people as part of my job and at the end of the day as well as often on my days off, I really cherished being able to close my door and not have to speak to anyone else!
I have even gone to concerts on my own when my friends have either not been interested or could not afford to go, as well as a couple of short mid week breaks on my own - both times a friend was due to come with me, but pulled out at the fairly last minute - why should I miss out just because no one wants to do what I want to do ?
I have met some lovely people at concerts and when I have been away - as my son says, I will talk to anyone about anything, so enjoying my own company in no way means that I am stand offish or enjoy other people's company!

Chance would be a fine thing!

Venus

I lived with my late husband for nearly fifty two years. I miss his company and I hate being on my own. No one to share special moments with and discuss the day's events with. It's lonely.

When all the covid stuff is over, is there a group you could join and meet other people? I have a friend who lost his wife two years ago and just wants to meet a widower so they can maybe go out once a month for a meal but all the people he knows are widows and that's not what he wants. His daughter and son-in-law live with him now as he's in his 80s but he needs male company of his own age and struggling to find it.
I hope you manage to find something to ease the loneliness and make new friends.

I certainly love, love having time on my own. That however is not to say that I am anti-social, far from it. BUT there are times when I need to be on my own but also quiet - no TV no music etc., this gives me time to think, time to pray and reflect/consider/plan. I prefer to do this first thing in the morning. I think also, in my case anyway, it makes me face the day in perhaps a better frame of mine. Especially now when there is so much negativity. Take care everyone and look after yourselves. x