Late 50’s over 60’s what exactly does your other half do round the house

Rufus2 Sat 12-Sep-20 06:57:19
"Spangler Who does them then!? confused
Possibly your hired help who's probably still a tax-deductible item.! ?"

What a spiteful remark!

I wouldn't say that I have done this chore or that chore, and my wife never does either
Spangler Who does them then!?
Possibly your hired help who's probably still a tax-deductible item.! ?
OoRoo

You are safe rufus! I meant grandad.

Never ever go on to mumsnet grandad
Galaxy Good Evening! Which "Grandad" are you addressing?
This one wouldn't dream of it! Gransnet makes me blush quite enough, thank you!
OoRoo

Imagine coming on to a thread and telling women not to talk about their experiences. Never ever go on to mumsnet grandad, you wouldn't last 2 minutes.

Rufus dear man you obviously haven’t been paying attention to many of the posts on here

DH does a lot round the house. He strips the bed & changes the sheets every week, vacuums the house regularly, gets breakfast ready every day & often lunch too. He unloads the dishwasher, empties the bins & puts the dustbins out , does most of the gardening, all the diy & decorating, car maintenance and also the finances.
I do nearly all the cooking, washing up, washing & ironing, all the cleaning except vacuuming which I hate. I do most of the food shopping but often if he’s going into the local town he offers to shop if I give him a a list. He's also much tidier than me. I’m very lucky.

I do the finances, cooking, shopping and most of the cleaning. He does clean the bathroom, mends stuff, opens jars, most of the DIY (but needs to be given loads of notice), car maintenance/all driving that is not local (we have a large motorhome). However, he is away all week working and at the moment I''m working from home.

In the past I worked full time then a mix of studying full time and working part time, He was a house husband durng this period (about 5 years) and he did everything including ironing my work clothes and preparing all meals for our three children and my packed lunch

When we retire in 2 years it will all change again

Does she do the same for you
Greeneyedgirl No need! Most husbands are kind, considerate and caring (I almost added "and carefree when allowed") and not in need of constant placating with gifts. Flowers and choccies don't cut it!
OoRoo

If like many men he doesn’t paint, repair, but new things that the house needs, then if you decide to do it yourself with no financial aid from him, ignore the complaints. Say I paid for all of this so I get to choose what it is like.

Greeneyedgirl

Does she do the same for you Spangler?

What a loaded question.

25 years of marriage and 15 years with my present man have left me with the belief that men are very good at deciding exactly what they are prepared to do and everything else is left to be picked up by someone else. My OH (retired) has declared he will cook the evening meal and do the shopping while he completely turns a blind eye to anything else. I (working from home) don't actually object but God I wish he would check occasionally about the more difficult things that need doing. Like bathing the dog he insisted he wanted and mowing the front lawn that he has walked past twice a day for the last two weeks without seeming to realise it is turning into a jungle. He knows that I can not manage the lawn mower. I ask him to do things, he agrees then he "forgets". If I try and bring it up housekeeping etc in a general conversation, he listens, says nothing in response, then changes the subject. I love him, I would rather live with him than without him, he can just be hard work and I really think that is the way lots of men are wired. Not all, I know, I can see my son is totally different with his partner they both ensure everything is clean and tidy, but maybe that is a more modern outlook.

By the way everything that I say on here about him, I would say to his face and I do, not that it does me any good.

Does she do the same for you Spangler?

Grandad1943 Wed 09-Sep-20 10:43:03
I do not believe that many husbands or partners in this day and age say such things as I cleaned the bathroom "for you", or I have loaded the dishwasher "for you".

Grandad1943 you are right, I wouldn't say that I have done this chore or that chore, and my wife never does either. But what I do is to buy her flowers regularly, with a thank you note to tell her how much I appreciate her effort and I tell her that I love her, every day.

I wouldn’t want to live with someone who didn’t take equal responsibility, depending on circumstances, for the tasks involved in daily living. There would be too much pent up resentment.

I blame their mothers.
Haven't we had this debate time and again with your mothers!?

I wasn't splitting hairs the first time, Grandad1943, as I think you well know.

I wasn't questioning the form of address you used, but your assertion that you would certainly not wish to carry out very much for some of the women on here.

You may well have meant to write personal to their wishes as opposed to what may be required round the home. but you didn't.

Maggiemaybe

^I do not believe that many husbands or partners in this day and age say such things as I cleaned the bathroom "for you", or I have loaded the dishwasher "for you".^

So what did you mean by this, Grandad1943?

^However, with the attitude of some that have made posts in this thread, I think that I would certainly not wish to carry out very much for them.^

I think it is obvious Maggiemaybe, that with the attitude some women have displayed in this thread I would not wish to carry out anything that was personal to their wishes as opposed to what may be required around the home.

So you see, Splitting hairs again Maggiemaybe

There seem to be a few disgruntled wives on here - they can't be the only ones.

I do not count myself amongst them.

Callistemon

As I tried to point out, Grandad, not all men are modern-thinking gems like you.

I blame their mothers.

Many thanks for the complement Callistemon, but I do sincerely believe that I am pro-typical of very many men in this day and age.

I do not believe that many husbands or partners in this day and age say such things as I cleaned the bathroom "for you", or I have loaded the dishwasher "for you".

So what did you mean by this, Grandad1943?

However, with the attitude of some that have made posts in this thread, I think that I would certainly not wish to carry out very much for them.

As I tried to point out, Grandad, not all men are modern-thinking gems like you.

I blame their mothers.

I do not believe that many husbands or partners in this day and age say such things as I cleaned the bathroom "for you", or I have loaded the dishwasher "for you".

Someone upthread said that her DH cleaned the bathroom for her.
I don't think it was meant ironically and I was tempted to ask if he never used the bathroom himself.

DH has said it in the past but learned not to after some nagging after having the error of his ways pointed out to him.

I do not believe that many husbands or partners in this day and age say such things as I cleaned the bathroom "for you", or I have loaded the dishwasher "for you".

I and my wife are off work for a couple of days now and (if the weather does not improve) we will be doing jobs around the house and garden and neither of us will say "I did this or that "for you" as the house and garden with all it's work when completed is for both of us.

There was a time when my wife (as did do many) ceased employment to bring up the children. At that time I worked all hours that were provided to bring in as much of an income as I could while my wife looked after the home. That made a definite dividing line as to my wife's role in our home and marriage and what was my own.

However, those times are long gone, and with the necessity of both partners, and often parents, having to work outside the household to provide sufficient income, chores are now shared between both.

This thread is therefore I feel out of touch with the true reality of modern living and in that is being taken by some as just another GN man-bashing misandry ridden thread

LadyBella

Someone said Attendance Allowance is not means tested. But when I filled in the forms, because of state pension, I was not eligible. Is that wrong then?

Attendance allowance is a benefit to allow people who need help with everyday tasks to 'buy' help. Often it is used by a Carer to have a cleaner or gardener for instance so they can continue the care. It can be used however you like and is available according to need.

Are you referring to Pension Credit? That is means tested.

Age UK are brilliant at helping with benefits or you can apply for a benefits check as well as using the link MaryDoll provided. The Martin Lewis website is good too.