My ex partner of 23 yrs is currently dealing with her mum dying of cancer. I am in the middle of all this trying to help. My current partner of a year lives 40mins away , and i tend to stay over twice a week. She is very upset as she see herself as the other woman at present Due largely to me texting in her bed to my ex to see was she ok after informing her that her mum had days to live. I feel stressed about the support I am offering, and I feel bad about the hurt I am causing my current partner. Help please.
In your shoes ....I'd say you're being very very kind which is an admirable trait. However, be a bit more discreet but not sneaky or secretive with it. Your new girlfriend has a choice & surely if she cannot see the humanitarian side of this she's blind to your thoughtful nature which normally she probably benefits from? Nevertheless, discretion will help. In the meantime, don't stop supporting you ex wife. You've got a history, maybe children, which your current partner hopefully will come to understand & not see as a threat as your relationship matures.
Be upfront with your present partner and honest. You will have slot of history with your ex-partner and it is the decent thing to do - supporting her while she is going through such a stressful time. Reassure your present partner that your actions are purely supportive at this time. If she has a problem with what you are doing, then she is not the one for you.