Yesterday I posted a thread about my relationship problems with my mum, It was the first time I had posted on here and got a bit nervous that someone I would know would see it and know who i was. I then requested it be deleted. In the meantime I got some great advice from other 'grans' and regretting asking for the deletion. I know I am very indecisive and not used to posting publically. I feel I want to repost my thread as it did help me reading some of the replies before it was deleted. The thread read as follows; I actually feel a bit silly writing this but can't really discuss it with my family, I am in my 50s and my mother is in her 70s. We have never really had a mother/daughter relationship as I was brought up by my grandparents and my dad as a child following my parents breakup. I had a great relationship with my dad who unfortunately I lost 5 years ago. He was very close to my children too, which my mum is not. I was 5 and my sister was three when they split up. My sister stayed with my mother and they have a love/hate relationship. My sister says that she feels she has to buy my mum's affection and at over 50 years old is told on a regular basis 'you are just like your father' My mum remarried and had other children. I am close to one of them but not the others and we only forged a friendship in our adult years. I also got back in touch with my mum as a young adult and as she lives a couple of hours away I only see her a couple of times a year. My mum is always posting on facebook 'be kind' - 'love your family' etc but in private she is very indifferent towards me and quite cruel on occasions and I wondered if because her and my father did not get on that she holds some sort of resentment towards me as she does with my sister. She posted a comment on one of my facebook status's that inferred I had been speaking about her behind her back. I private messaged her to ask if I had upset her in some way and I received a tirade back telling me not to be so sensitive and that not everything was about me and it was a general comment. She then posted a public apology on facebook saying that she had upset someone who had taken a comment to heart and she was very sorry. The day after my sister put a comment on about sending a message to the wrong person and my mum made a huge joke about it saying 'Oh tsk tsk be careful that sort of thing can get you into trouble' so I feel the apology was not sincere - I try to not react as she is my mum and is not well but I can't keep letting her make me feel like this.
She also ignores my children (all adults and they are not bothered but it hurts me) on social media but adds some of my friends that she does not know and has never met and sends encouraging messages to their kids, comments on their lives and celebrates their achievements.
I know the answer is to block her but that would cause issues with my wider family as I am sure they would never believe some of the things she says to me in private. Do I pop the occasional like on there to keep the peace or do I ignore her as she does me?
Grannyclomps Tue 29-Sep-20 11:14:34
Grandmabatty Tue 29-Sep-20 11:42:18
Toadinthehole Tue 29-Sep-20 11:57:21
Newatthis Tue 29-Sep-20 12:19:48
Chewbacca Tue 29-Sep-20 12:38:58
Lolo81 Wed 30-Sep-20 01:01:32
welbeck Wed 30-Sep-20 01:18:41
BlueBelle Wed 30-Sep-20 05:13:38
Oopsadaisy4 Wed 30-Sep-20 05:30:04
PinkCakes Wed 30-Sep-20 07:48:59
Grannyclomps Wed 30-Sep-20 15:00:33
BlueBelle Wed 30-Sep-20 15:06:00
Grandmabatty Wed 30-Sep-20 16:19:54
Grannyclomps Wed 30-Sep-20 16:28:22
Madgran77 Wed 30-Sep-20 17:01:14
Chewbacca Wed 30-Sep-20 19:38:27