Gransnet forums


Has anyone on here ever had a parent in prison?

(27 Posts)
MaryTheBookeeper Wed 30-Sep-20 11:58:27

I am in this position sad

EllanVannin Wed 30-Sep-20 12:15:23


That is so sad for you.

sodapop Wed 30-Sep-20 12:18:53

I'm sorry MarytheBookeeper that must be very difficult for you. Has something happened for you to want some support on here.

GillT57 Wed 30-Sep-20 12:19:05

You are very unlucky with your family. Is this in anyway connected to the thread you started a week or so ago concerning your sibling and a relative, a bungalow, and disappointed expectations? When you asked whether you should sell your own home to help? Apologies if I have confused you with someone else.

Oopsadaisy4 Wed 30-Sep-20 12:46:32

Are you still looking for a country cottage too?

MerylStreep Wed 30-Sep-20 12:59:15

Yes, my father. Wormwood Srubs. We knew about the incident and then we were told he'd gone on another long sea voyage. That was believable because he was in the navy.
My sister and I thought he looked a bit pale when he came home 🤔 Plus, we didn't get any pressies 🙁

FannyCornforth Wed 30-Sep-20 13:03:43

Hello Mary
Perhaps you would like to share something about your own difficult situation.
I always find that people are more likely to open up if you are open with them first.
I hope that you get some support.

EllanVannin Wed 30-Sep-20 13:22:16

What happened, MarytheBookeeper, you were quite upbeat about your 300k cottage ?

MaryTheBookeeper Wed 30-Sep-20 14:17:27

I am happy about the cottage ideas. But I'm not happy about the situation I find myself in. Coming from a bad family is a lifelong source of stress.

loopyloo Wed 30-Sep-20 15:08:46

Is he in prison now ? Or is this in the past?
It must be very difficult. All I can think is that you live your life to your standards and have a clear demarcation line.
I think I would escape to the country. And have dogs and cats.
All the best.

kittylester Wed 30-Sep-20 15:28:35

We did hope dd3's ex would go to prison but it wasn't to be!! sad

EllanVannin Wed 30-Sep-20 15:33:55

I'd have emigrated if they were that bad. Easily done if you're young enough. Make a clean break.

grannylyn65 Wed 30-Sep-20 15:36:24

No but 1st husband was

grannylyn65 Wed 30-Sep-20 15:37:27

Leaving me with 2 under 4 years

MawB2 Wed 30-Sep-20 16:37:20

Wondering why you are asking?
Some people might find that intrusive.

FannyCornforth Wed 30-Sep-20 17:54:35

I hope that you are in good faith.
As I said earlier, if you would like some support and advice then it is best to be candid about your own situation
It's a bit rum to ask for other's experience without giving any context.

MaryTheBookeeper Wed 30-Sep-20 19:37:27

Just the horribleness of it Fanny and the shame

midgey Wed 30-Sep-20 20:31:25

But it’s not your shame, you are not responsible for what your parent did. Chin up and look for that cottage!

ineedamum Wed 30-Sep-20 21:22:46

I don't have a relative in prison, but I do feel shame that I'm estranged from my family. I know it isn't the same

annsixty Wed 30-Sep-20 21:25:54

We are not responsible for the actions of anyone but ourselves.
We cannot feel guilt or shame.
Live your life according to your own rules and morals.
Good luck.

Callistemon Wed 30-Sep-20 21:35:29


Just the horribleness of it Fanny and the shame

Your father's crimes are his, not yours MaryTheBookkeeper.
You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Good post, annsixty.

FannyCornforth Thu 01-Oct-20 02:31:53

Yes, lovely post Ann.

BlueBelle Thu 01-Oct-20 06:31:06

Is this the next chapter of the inheritance saga Mary why have you started a new thread instead of carrying on with the other one as it all appears tied together and might be easier to follow if all the info was in one place
Is your relative coming to live with you now your father has gone to prison
Of course you can’t be responsible for your fathers crimes and no one need know he's in prison as you don’t appear to have a relationship with him anyway
Good luck with the cottage

Missfoodlove Thu 01-Oct-20 09:55:08


I have 3 friends who have had relatives in prison.
In two cases a husband and in the 3rd case a mother.
It is not as unusual as you may think!

You need to ask yourself a few questions as to why this is causing so much angst.

Is it the nature of the crime?

Did you give evidence to support a conviction?

Is it a wrongful conviction?

Or just shame by association?

Find a trusted friend and talk, talking will normalise the situation and hopefully help you come to terms with the sadness.

Parsley3 Thu 01-Oct-20 10:29:49

Prisoners’ Families has a helpline that will give you support if you want to talk about it.