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Lovely friends - not!!

(153 Posts)
lippyqueen Thu 01-Oct-20 14:41:47

On Saturday we arranged a meal here in our house with 4 local friends. My husband went to pick them up, only 3 or 4 miles away so that they could have a drink and taxi home. They all wore masks in the car.
Three quarters of the way through the evening the wife of one couple, announced that they had both had a Covid test that day because she was experiencing some symptoms. We were all extremely shocked and surprised to say the least.
They went home and then on Tuesday evening she phoned to say that the test was positive. We are so disappointed and also furious that we have been put in this position. We and the other people are all in isolation just hoping we do not get any symptoms.
These people also had a BBQ on the Sunday to which 2 more couples came. They have put 8 people at risk and their extended families. We have 9 days to go in quarantine. These people were really good (so we thought) friends and we feel very let down by them. We have no idea of how things will go forward. So far we have not been contacted by them and we are just thinking about how to handle it.

Alexa Mon 05-Oct-20 10:54:56

PS you would stand to influence these friends more if you remained on a friendly footing.

Alexa Mon 05-Oct-20 10:53:34

I think people like that are ignorant about public hygiene. Ignorance is more probable than callousness.

Lucca Mon 05-Oct-20 09:28:21

Nobody is allowed in England to have 6 from more than two households as I understand it.
We recently considered a bargain stay in A fancy hotel with my 2 siblings And partners but as the hotel said, we wouldn’t be able to eat together so no go. (I wasn’t all that keen tbh)

Sparkling Mon 05-Oct-20 08:25:50

Lippyqueen,you were breaking the rules, you should not have invited two different households into your home, however clean you are, it's airborne. I presume that is the reason you did not report it. I hope the other couple you invited did the right thing. You will then be 4 friends down. You know they have Covid and that others are at risk and could die, because if it. Bit late in the day now.

LadyHonoriaDedlock Sun 04-Oct-20 21:01:49

I guess your friends are now ex-friends, lippyqueen. How thoroughly selfish of them.

dianetheartist Sun 04-Oct-20 20:57:01

And what about the poor taxi driver taking them home after?
What a big chance that he will get it..
I would not dream of going to anyone's home if I thought I even had a cold starting, pre-COVID, never mind these dangerous days.
So many people could have been infected via that dinner party.
Me and hubby have been shielding since March because I am very vulnerable because of medications and illness I have, and I am probably a bit paranoid about catching it.
Please isolate and also get in touch with the taxi firm who took them home and tell them whats happened..
Keep us posted as to whether you come down with it too...Fingers crossed you don't. x

Wibblywobbly Sun 04-Oct-20 19:01:36

I would never speak to them again and would tell everyone why.

Shropshirelass Sun 04-Oct-20 09:09:01

This was totally irresponsible behaviour by your friends and is exactly the reason why the virus is spreading again. They obviously didn't want to 'miss out' on a social occasion but didn't mind risking making friends seriously ill. Unbelievable. I wouldn't put anyone at risk if I thought I might have the virus and had a test. Stay in away from everyone until the result comes through and then act accordingly. I hope you are OK and have not contracted this virus through your friends irresponsibility.

Poppyann1 Sat 03-Oct-20 16:16:35

When the person goes into hospital I'm sure they will have to have a covid test,I did when I went in for 1 night.

Oopsadaisy4 Sat 03-Oct-20 13:20:43

Believe me, if I knew where they lived and their surname, I would have done it by now!

Clevedon Sat 03-Oct-20 12:38:59

OMG oopsadaisy, that is unbelievable!!! I'd report them

Laughterlines Sat 03-Oct-20 09:34:41


I have been thinking of the person coming from abroad for chemo, without quarantining.
She is planning to go and receive treatment in a situation where there are highly vulnerable patients, with compromised immune systems. She should be reported
.Who knows, she may be a symptomatic.
Our local cancer treatment unit had to close at the beginning of lockdown, due to a Covid outbreak. A nurse died.
I'm beyond words.😡

Same here. It’s disgraceful.

Ring the hospital and report them. It’s unfair to all the vulnerable patients and staff. The hospital could even close. Then where would the sick get treatment.

Marydoll Sat 03-Oct-20 08:27:18

I have a friend who is having a biopsy for suspected bowel cancer under GA. She had a Covid test on Thursday and even if negative, she will have to self isolate for two weeks prior to the investigation.

I find it difficult to understand the discrepancies in the way different hospitals respond to treating patients.
The lady coming from abroad for chemo, has no way of knowing, whether she is infectious or not. She could be unknowingly infecting staff, regardless what strict precautions are taken.
As another poster has said previously, will she just lie, when questioned by staff?
I'm disgusted at her selfish, reckless behaviour. 😠

Sgilley Sat 03-Oct-20 07:25:24

Marydoll I totally agree. That person should be in quarantine for two weeks prior to chemo. I am having a minor op at the end of the month and am isolating for two weeks and having a test 72 hours prior to op. Then 3 days of isolation and op if test result negative. Words fail me. No wonder we are in such a mess.

Sgilley Sat 03-Oct-20 07:09:22

Surely someone flying to UK for Chemo has to fill in questionnaire. ‘Have you travelled in the past two weeks’ . I had to, Having a minor op at end of month and have had to sign a declaration.

welbeck Fri 02-Oct-20 21:59:16


I would not react at all, not even to vent my anger. To me, they would be out of my life. If in a pandemic you can’t trust someone with your life, your health, then you should distance yourself.

cast the dust off your feet and have no more to do with them.
and re-think your other activities.
avoid mingling.

Daisyboots Fri 02-Oct-20 21:42:22

oopsadaisy the person with chemo is being so careless if not not downright dangerous to come to England and go straight for chemotherapy treatment without isolating for 14 days first. That person is putting all the other patients at risk of catching Covid19 when they are at their lowest. Thank goodness here we have to have a Covid test two days before we go for treatment so that they know we are clear. If I knew the name of the patient and which hospital they are attending I would have no compunction in informing the hospital. There are some awfully selfish people around including your friend who thinks it's ok for her relative to do this.

LesLee7 Fri 02-Oct-20 20:25:37

To be fair as others have said I wouldn't have invited other people into my home at the moment. That said how can they call themselves friends to put you in that position - why when you invited them didn't they say they were awaiting results of a test. I'm afraid they would no longer be friends of mine to be so selfish to put other people at risk, plus the others at the BBQ. Sadly there are too many people who give little regard to safeguarding others which is why the numbers are rising again. I hope you stay symptom free and if they query why you haven't been in touch think I would bluntly tell them.

Lucca Fri 02-Oct-20 19:08:37

Did you send them home as soon as you heard about the test ?

lippyqueen Fri 02-Oct-20 18:57:38

Thank you to everyone, you have endorsed my feelings. They are definitely not friends.
We live in an area where we can still socialise at the moment with the maximum number of 6. Last Saturday we were extremely responsible, following all the rules of socially distancing. I put separate hand towels for everyone using the bathroom having bleached it before and after the evening. I also provided alcohol gel for all. Everyone wore masks in the car with the windows open. I feel very let down by our now previous friends. We are still symptom free and hope to remain so. NHS track and trace have been fantastic with their support and advice. If we get symptoms we will have to take a test ourselves. I am confident we behaved in a sensible and responsible way.

Oldbat1 Fri 02-Oct-20 17:05:52

What were you doing anyway socialising with friends in houses? Everyone concerned in that situation I feel are being blasé. Where I live no-one can socialise evening gardens. Car sharing without just cause is unacceptable. This virus needs to be taken seriously obviously in this case it hasn’t.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 02-Oct-20 17:02:07

Good on you Readymeals I agree

TrendyNannie6 Fri 02-Oct-20 16:59:08

I wouldn’t be letting anyone in from different families, we are in middle of a pandemic, so I actually think none of you have behaved responsibly

Alittlemadam Fri 02-Oct-20 16:52:07

Your so called friend has a selfish attitude. She should not have been visiting you if she hadn't had her results. But then some people think they are invincible and it won't happen to them

Sandrahill Fri 02-Oct-20 16:46:03

Tell them exactly how you feel. Pray you are ok. Drop them right now as they have no concern about your husband yourself or the others - none at all. Only thinking about their wants and needs. Move on. Never look back.