Doing my head in...

I'd be more concerned about visiting a restaurant than seeing a 92 year old who has been shielding for months. I'd give anything for one last Christmas with my parents or my parents in law but it's too late. My advice, do a zoom call on Christmas day, stay home and cook your own bird. Keep away from restaurants if indeed they are open.

Onthenaughtystep1

Being in a bubble doesn’t make you safe from coronavirus. How did this impression become mainstream?

I've been puzzling over that myself. Just being in a bubble doesn't mean you are never exposed to the virus if others in your bubble are still out working etc. It simply means that the viral load is reduced the fewer people you are in contact with.

Perfect, wildswan

Don't make a drama out of it, OP.

Just let them know that "we don't want to add to any risks for xxxx and as we aren't in the same support bubble feel it best that we miss the lunch with you all this year. Have a lovely time and know we will be thinking of you".

No, don’t go. Does the restaurant owner not know that he/she could be heavily fined for not following rules?

It’s people like these who have increased the spread of the virus. We’ll never beat it while people do their own thing.

Boris is relaxing the rules for Xmas and families can all meet.

And this is why there’ll be a third wave after Christmas. I think you are right to be cautious and do what’s best for you x

This isn't the 92 years old idea. She's probably the safest person to be with amongst your entire family!
If you're not comfortable with going to the lunch, then politely decline. No drama.
I understand why a family lunch has been organised and it's a nice idea. I wouldn't chose to go either but that isn't the point. We've all got different ways of dealing with the virus and I try to respect other people's views.

My DD has dropped massive hints about Christmas, so much so that I'm dreading it.

There will be more Christmases.
Not necessarily if someone is 92 - and in fact for any of us.
But there are more likely to be if we stick to the rules.

Are they seeing their elderly MIL regularly? That is allowed if they are caring for her.
You'd be doing the wrong thing if you went and you know that; they need to realise that too.

What exactly is a support bubble?
Forming this support bubble means you effectively become one household – you can act as if you all lived together. This means you can do things such as go round to their house, stay the night and travel together in private vehicles. You don't need to socially distance from others in your support bubble.

But once you've formed your support bubble, you can't change who's in it.

Silverlady you are in the right. As others have said they can see their mother as they are undoubtedly bubbled but I'm sure it's best for you not to be involved. My sister had to turn down a family get together for Christmas and has offered an Easter alternative if that is possible.
We need to accept life is NOT normal now and may take most of next year to sort out if enough people can be vaccinated.
Our view is to accept this year is a write off and try and stay sane in the meantime.
There will be more Christmases.

I have to go and support my 92 year old mother, I would rather not as things are, but I get bullied by my sisters into not caring if I don’t share the care with them. But I certainly wouldn’t expect any of my grown up children to also go, I don’t even get to see them myself, so why should they take any unnecessary risks.
Im sure it must be causing friction with a lot of families who have elderly members who live alone.

Yes, nanapat, it could be the 93yr old's last Christmas. Just don't go, emphasise how important the oldster's Christmas is. The fewer people there the better for her.

I agree with AGAA4. Let the in-laws see the aged relative, but you don't have to! (Presumably you can't all be in a "bubble" together?) Just say: "no thanks". Many of us are managing Christmas differently this year. It's hard but necessary.

You mention a restaurant booking. I don’t know what country you are in but in U.K. it’s by no means certain that restaurants will be open at Christmas.

Everything is so uncertain that it is impossible at this stage to plan. Why so much emphasis on one day with a roast dinner ? I know it is traditional but some seem to be getting this all out of perspective and surely dealing with the virus must come above family get togethers.

Boris has been making Christmas celebration almost a certainty whilst Sage members have been realistic. Unfortunately Boris just want to be popular and says what he thinks people want to hear.

We need to hang on, keep us and our loved ones safe and do as we are told by the experts. After all it seems as if we will have a vaccine before too long, that in itself should make us want to hang on until we can be protected.

Our DS wants us to go to his for Christmas, we on the other hand feel it would be sensible to stay at home, we want to have Christmas in the future (hopefully) together so happy to miss one together. There’s always face time I will still miss them but that’s life.

So many people seem to have that mentality that the rules don’t apply to them, my 90 year old mum being me of them ! I’ve had to be very assertive with her and her demands, and I’ve told her that I will make my own decisions about what I feel is and isn't safe. I wont let her dictate where I go, so you must do the same regardless of the comments.

These people who insist on breaking the rules as if they are somehow immune to the virus really annoy me. I have been shielding since before the first lockdown and stick strictly to the rules. If people did NOT ignore the rules we would be in a far better situation than we are now. It also seems very callous and selfish to inflict company upon a 92 year old person who, by virtue of their age alone, is not at all likely to survive a Covid 19 infection.

Being a complete cynic my personal opinion is that she has money and they are beneficiaries of her will, as that is the only reason I can think for them to want to do something so utterly reprehensible.

Can't see a problem - just say no.

Surely no one thinks this is straightforward! If I were the 92 year old I would want a say. The lack of acknowledgement by relatives and restaurant is interesting though!

Just say no. We have to keep safe. Going out to a restaurant filled with people is not a safe place to be. It is so wrong to take a 92 year old to one. What on earth are they thinking of. They are so damn stupid.

What does your hubby think?If you BOTH don't want to go then say no.If your in-laws are bubbled with their mother then,unsafe as it still sounds to me to traipse the old lady to a lunch out somewhere, leave them to it. Would it not be safer for them to go to her home for lunch? Or take her to theirs? Particularly if they're all in their own bubble? But considering her age, and i presume theirs, then id have thought it unsafe to go eat out.Wasn't it thought that Rishy's "eat out to helpout" campaign was part of what helped to spread the virus??Just say you don't want to take that risk and you wish they wouldn't either. May not be able to in end anyway.

Sounds like they are bullying you!! At the moment, the rules clearly state that you cannot mix with anyone outside a designated bubble. Their 92 year old mother is probably in their bubble and, therefore, cannot be in yours. Stand up to them and stay away

Be the ‘bitch from hell’ - at least you won’t have someone catching Covid on your conscience or putting yourself at unnecessary risk

Let them get on with it and just don’t agree or go to the lunch. They can take her to their house for lunch. You can do your own thing.