Gransnet forums

Relationships

Doing my head in...

(91 Posts)
Nannapat1 Fri 20-Nov-20 09:49:21

Surely the 92 year old should have some say in what she does and if she lives alone can't she be in a support bubble. At 92 it may be her last Christmas, with or without the virus.

grannygranby Fri 20-Nov-20 09:49:06

Would you prefer the 92 year old to be left out? Surely not. For her safety under present conditions explain your warm concern that you would prefer not to mix at Christmas and look forward to meeting all again after the pandemic. No need for anger or drama.

Bluekitchen192 Fri 20-Nov-20 09:48:18

Another in law problem perhaps? Would you leave your own elderly mother to dine alone on Christmas day?

V3ra Thu 19-Nov-20 19:52:15

Silverlady79 it's too soon to know what the "rules" will be by then anyway, but in general the fewer people who mix the better.
That being so, it isn't unreasonable for your in-laws to see their mother, but to minimise the risk to all of you it would be best for everyone if the two of you don't go.
With regret, obviously, and much as I'm sure you'd like to... ???

My brother's been making detailed Christmas plans with my Dad involving travel, overnight stay, travel, two weeks plus away, travel back again, etc.... I tried to say it's all against the rules at the moment and not necessarily a good idea anyway, but it fell on deaf ears.

You just need to do what's right for you, as if you're not comfortable with going you won't enjoy the day anyway.

Witzend Thu 19-Nov-20 18:14:33

Are they going to sulk if you don’t go?
In the circs you are entitled to decline IMO, and comfort yourself with the thought that Christmas dinner in a restaurant is nearly always ludicrously expensive, and very rarely worth anything like the price.

EllanVannin Thu 19-Nov-20 18:12:06

The way things are going nobody will be seeing each other next Christmas either----literally !

MamaCaz Thu 19-Nov-20 18:11:20

Can I ask where you are, as the mention of tiers presumably means it isn't England?

Regardless, I would say that even if it's legal, if you aren't happy with it, don't do it, though I do realize that's not as easy as it sounds when you have be even brought up to respect other people's wishes!

Onthenaughtystep1 Thu 19-Nov-20 18:04:09

Being in a bubble doesn’t make you safe from coronavirus. How did this impression become mainstream?

MrsThreadgoode Thu 19-Nov-20 18:02:46

Just say No.

It looks as though the rules might change and allow more people to meet at Christmas, but you still don’t have to go.

Callistemon Thu 19-Nov-20 18:00:20

It's more important that they see a lonely 92 year old woman than that they see you, if you are young.

Callistemon Thu 19-Nov-20 17:59:38

I see nothing wrong with this is she and they are in a bubble.

You needn't go to the lunch.

NotSpaghetti Thu 19-Nov-20 17:40:00

Why do you need to be a "witness" to the lunch? The 92 year old surely will have one with your in-laws... they must be her bubble therefore you don't need to go.

Please don't get cross it's probably easy to cancel. You can always offer Easter if it's safe by then

welbeck Thu 19-Nov-20 16:18:07

they might not all be able to celebrate Easter, if they insist on acting recklessly at Christmas.

MissAdventure Thu 19-Nov-20 15:46:46

Easiest not to go, I would think.
No need for drama.

AGAA4 Thu 19-Nov-20 15:46:25

Whoever is in the bubble with their 92 year old mother can see her safely. If you and your husband aren't in her bubble then I don't think it would be safe whatever is allowed at Christmas.
Mixing like this can spread the virus.

Silverlady79 Thu 19-Nov-20 15:30:50

Christmas. Sorry about that folks. My in laws have insisted that their 92 year old mother MUST HAVE a Xmas lunch together with them or she’ll fall apart.

Hubby and I have rigidly followed the rulings and just don’t want to do this but we are being bullied and made to feel we don’t care. Now a booking has been made. Even though we are in different tiers, the restaurant didn’t ask....

No regard paid to MIL, or her safety. Or ours. I just want to tell them to pay attention to the rules ...they haven’t, as they believe they are above the virus..and let’s get together at Easter. I don’t think I will go and risk myself, and will be labelled the bitch from hell ...