Lockdown and relationships

Oh you are not alone. My OH is a bit of a pessimist - normally I can 'leaven the mixture' with other company. I have had to learn to be less influenced by his mood. Not always easy but I guess my eternal optimism may grate on him! Soon be easier.

We have been married 50 years and I have been finding lockdown hard. Hubby is upstairs reading Sunday papers which will take him all day to read and I will be downstairs doing my thing. Walking together most days has helped us. Missing our Sunday lunches and swims 3 times a week. Hurry up vaccines.

It's been enlightening but not in a good way.. Although being on my own may have been worse. I'll never know.

I've noticed how my friends are at times. One has been told by her son she mustn't go out, although she is 66 with no underlying health issues. I've offered to go walking with her at a distance,somewhere quiet. But she says yes OK. Then changes her mind a little while before we're due to meet up. It was quite annoying, I just said to her if you want to come for a walk ring me, and don't tell your son. He doesn't live with her, and she was bereaved 2 yrd ago, and told me she gets really fed up.

We get on really well after 42 years together but only this after retirement and lockdown have I realized how much mess he makes!

One of the secrets of coping is to have time apart. I go for walks alone ( not too keen ) and DH goes for a short drive when we want to get out of the house. We each have a separate “study” to retreat to. I miss the stimulus of other people’s company, as DH is very quiet, but otherwise we have a strong relationship. We are very compatible.

I have the opposite problem to LoLo81, my DH hardly ever speaks, perhaps we could swap for a week or two???

My husband and I have found ourselves amazingly tolerant during this time!! We have always had a strong relationship but it has been interesting to see how well it has stood the test through this time without our separate interests and outings and also without our regular outings together...walking long distances, theatre etc and meeting friends. Talking to my friends some relationships seem to have stood the test, some have strengthened and some are definitely heading or have hit the rocks which is sad.

Wish my wonderful DH was still around this year to share the lockdown with. . Miss him so much.

I so agree- 39 years together in Christmas Eve and marrying my DH is the best decision I ever made - I was so scared about marrying again.

'Twas a bit tricky when the golf was off

You’re absolutely right. I’ve realised there’s 2 separate people that brought me down and seemed to hate the world. I haven’t spoken to one of them since March and I feel so much better and the second one texts sometimes but every time she does it’s doom and gloom. The lockdown has certainly changed my view of life for the better.

My husband and I have been together 25 years, this is my third marriage. It has made me realise I made the right decision in marrying him. I've had to avoid people since March being 70 with an underlying health condition. We have been thrown together 24/7. We have had rows, big ones. We irritate the hell out of each other quite a lot. Still there is no one else I would rather be with.He has been so caring and supportive. If we can survive this, we can survive anything. It has deepened my love for him.

I am very lucky because my children live quite locally so we have been able to meet when “Rules” allow. I am not sure how I would have coped without them because my DH has been quite difficult with his own ideas about the Pandemic and has kept repeating them and still does - so very wearing ! So looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel ! I certainly have learnt a lot about people during this time !

We’ve been married 50 years, and I haven’t minded lock down at all. I think things would have been very different if we didn’t have our own space though! Essential in my book.

Well, once my husband took early retirement I felt very disorganised and couldn't get on top of routine jobs etc, and yes on occasions I needed my own space and we could be grumpy with each other. However, he is now into his third week in a covid ward. I have had the chance to get a bit of sorting out done, but I miss him very very much. It is hoped he will be home for Xmas, and I suspect that as he will still be recovering and not at all fit, that he will need a lot of support and patience. But far better that than not having him back,

I think I'm another fortunate GN. Being in lockdown has simply reinforced my knowledge that I made the right choice in marrying DH over 37 years ago. I can say in all honesty that while I miss seeing family and friends, DH is the person I'd choose to be with in lockdown.

Astral I have spent all of this year feeling blessed that I haven’t had to spend any of the lockdowns with my XH. It would have been a miserable experience for us all.

Being together 24/7 means that it’s very difficult to hide from what is wrong in a relationship. Maybe it’s time to think that life is too short to be with someone who makes you unhappy. Do you think you want to leave?

The first year we went to France for 6 months, 2015, was a test as we were both working f/t and too k sabbaticals. We had a glorious time and it stood us in good stead during the first lockdown as DH wasn’t working for 10 weeks.

I feel really blessed. Miss the family a lot but so lucky I fell in love with this special man all those years ago.

We may sometimes get cross with each other (and I'm sure I'm not easy to live with) but we are still a "team" and we still make each other laugh again and again each day. So so very lucky.

I’ve pm’d you Astral

We’ve been together for 52 years and DH retired during lockdown and we’ve been fine.

He’s climbing the walls as he hasn’t been able to go out and about.

I’m fine , thank you very much.

I will start this by stressing I love my husband. I love him dearly. But......
He talks so bloody much!!
Prior to lockdown he worked away Mon-Fri and we had the weekends together 9 months of the year, he was home permanently the rest of the time. Now - he’s still out working but it’s a 9-5 and my goodness when he’s home he just yaps away!
It took us about 6 months to get into a groove, I didn’t realise how much I needed some peace to get things done and to just switch off.
I’m a grumpy old woman has been my conclusion and have adjusted my bed time to get a wee hour of peace to read a book or just have the telly off and do some ironing and it’s bliss!!?

I am so pleased I have been unable to see my mother, I used to visit out of guilt and not wanting to fall out with my siblings over taking my turn.

The siblings carried on visiting as it was more practical with bubbles and shopping.

I’m very blessed to be able to say we’ve got through both lockdowns without any issues.

This is my second marriage and after 20 years I still feel I made the right choice.

If lockdown had happened during my first 22 year marriage I’d have miserable, ill and probably on medication.