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Lockdown and relationships

(52 Posts)
Astral Sat 05-Dec-20 20:43:35

Has anyone noticed that coronavirus has changed the way you see someone?

Either being stuck together in the home 24/7 and realising they make you unhappy.... Or realising you feel happier and relieved at not having to spend time with someone?

I don't feel able to talk about how this is bothering me but I wondered if I could if I am not alone with it.

YorkLady Sat 05-Dec-20 20:54:49

We have been shielding since March..( DH has had cancer treatment). We have seen hardly anyone else.
Married for 42 years and I can say that it has proved to me that I made the right decision. 😂
I think being with someone for long periods will make you scrutinise each other, just hope that you still like what you see.

Coolgran65 Sat 05-Dec-20 21:01:45

I’m very blessed to be able to say we’ve got through both lockdowns without any issues.

This is my second marriage and after 20 years I still feel I made the right choice.

If lockdown had happened during my first 22 year marriage I’d have miserable, ill and probably on medication.

cornishpatsy Sat 05-Dec-20 21:33:10

I am so pleased I have been unable to see my mother, I used to visit out of guilt and not wanting to fall out with my siblings over taking my turn.

The siblings carried on visiting as it was more practical with bubbles and shopping.

Lolo81 Sun 06-Dec-20 00:17:31

I will start this by stressing I love my husband. I love him dearly. But......
He talks so bloody much!!
Prior to lockdown he worked away Mon-Fri and we had the weekends together 9 months of the year, he was home permanently the rest of the time. Now - he’s still out working but it’s a 9-5 and my goodness when he’s home he just yaps away!
It took us about 6 months to get into a groove, I didn’t realise how much I needed some peace to get things done and to just switch off.
I’m a grumpy old woman has been my conclusion and have adjusted my bed time to get a wee hour of peace to read a book or just have the telly off and do some ironing and it’s bliss!!😂

MrsThreadgoode Sun 06-Dec-20 09:34:12

We’ve been together for 52 years and DH retired during lockdown and we’ve been fine.

He’s climbing the walls as he hasn’t been able to go out and about.

I’m fine , thank you very much.

Juliet27 Sun 06-Dec-20 09:47:25

I’ve pm’d you Astral

NotSpaghetti Sun 06-Dec-20 09:49:31

I feel really blessed. Miss the family a lot but so lucky I fell in love with this special man all those years ago.

We may sometimes get cross with each other (and I'm sure I'm not easy to live with) but we are still a "team" and we still make each other laugh again and again each day. So so very lucky.

Jaxjacky Sun 06-Dec-20 10:09:32

The first year we went to France for 6 months, 2015, was a test as we were both working f/t and too k sabbaticals. We had a glorious time and it stood us in good stead during the first lockdown as DH wasn’t working for 10 weeks.

Daftapath Sun 06-Dec-20 10:29:56

Astral I have spent all of this year feeling blessed that I haven’t had to spend any of the lockdowns with my XH. It would have been a miserable experience for us all.

Being together 24/7 means that it’s very difficult to hide from what is wrong in a relationship. Maybe it’s time to think that life is too short to be with someone who makes you unhappy. Do you think you want to leave?

Davida1968 Sun 06-Dec-20 10:32:13

I think I'm another fortunate GN. Being in lockdown has simply reinforced my knowledge that I made the right choice in marrying DH over 37 years ago. I can say in all honesty that while I miss seeing family and friends, DH is the person I'd choose to be with in lockdown.

Growing0ldDisgracefully Sun 06-Dec-20 10:32:19

Well, once my husband took early retirement I felt very disorganised and couldn't get on top of routine jobs etc, and yes on occasions I needed my own space and we could be grumpy with each other. However, he is now into his third week in a covid ward. I have had the chance to get a bit of sorting out done, but I miss him very very much. It is hoped he will be home for Xmas, and I suspect that as he will still be recovering and not at all fit, that he will need a lot of support and patience. But far better that than not having him back,

Bazza Sun 06-Dec-20 10:34:05

We’ve been married 50 years, and I haven’t minded lock down at all. I think things would have been very different if we didn’t have our own space though! Essential in my book.

NannyDaft Sun 06-Dec-20 10:34:29

I am very lucky because my children live quite locally so we have been able to meet when “Rules” allow. I am not sure how I would have coped without them because my DH has been quite difficult with his own ideas about the Pandemic and has kept repeating them and still does - so very wearing ! So looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel ! I certainly have learnt a lot about people during this time !

Frankie51 Sun 06-Dec-20 10:38:32

My husband and I have been together 25 years, this is my third marriage. It has made me realise I made the right decision in marrying him. I've had to avoid people since March being 70 with an underlying health condition. We have been thrown together 24/7. We have had rows, big ones. We irritate the hell out of each other quite a lot. Still there is no one else I would rather be with.He has been so caring and supportive. If we can survive this, we can survive anything. It has deepened my love for him.

QuickFire9 Sun 06-Dec-20 10:40:25

You’re absolutely right. I’ve realised there’s 2 separate people that brought me down and seemed to hate the world. I haven’t spoken to one of them since March and I feel so much better and the second one texts sometimes but every time she does it’s doom and gloom. The lockdown has certainly changed my view of life for the better.

moobox Sun 06-Dec-20 10:41:27

'Twas a bit tricky when the golf was off

Pompeychic Sun 06-Dec-20 10:43:27

I so agree- 39 years together in Christmas Eve and marrying my DH is the best decision I ever made - I was so scared about marrying again.

mumski Sun 06-Dec-20 10:50:35

Wish my wonderful DH was still around this year to share the lockdown with. sad. Miss him so much.

Madgran77 Sun 06-Dec-20 10:56:50

My husband and I have found ourselves amazingly tolerant during this time!! We have always had a strong relationship but it has been interesting to see how well it has stood the test through this time without our separate interests and outings and also without our regular outings together...walking long distances, theatre etc and meeting friends. Talking to my friends some relationships seem to have stood the test, some have strengthened and some are definitely heading or have hit the rocks which is sad.

knspol Sun 06-Dec-20 11:02:04

I have the opposite problem to LoLo81, my DH hardly ever speaks, perhaps we could swap for a week or two???

Cabbie21 Sun 06-Dec-20 11:05:03

One of the secrets of coping is to have time apart. I go for walks alone ( not too keen ) and DH goes for a short drive when we want to get out of the house. We each have a separate “study” to retreat to. I miss the stimulus of other people’s company, as DH is very quiet, but otherwise we have a strong relationship. We are very compatible.

paperbackbutterfly Sun 06-Dec-20 11:17:33

We get on really well after 42 years together but only this after retirement and lockdown have I realized how much mess he makes!

NannyG123 Sun 06-Dec-20 11:18:44

I've noticed how my friends are at times. One has been told by her son she mustn't go out, although she is 66 with no underlying health issues. I've offered to go walking with her at a distance,somewhere quiet. But she says yes OK. Then changes her mind a little while before we're due to meet up. It was quite annoying, I just said to her if you want to come for a walk ring me, and don't tell your son. He doesn't live with her, and she was bereaved 2 yrd ago, and told me she gets really fed up.

Joyfulnanna Sun 06-Dec-20 11:34:58

It's been enlightening but not in a good way.. Although being on my own may have been worse. I'll never know.