A few years ago I became estranged from one of my sisters after she did something against one of my children which was, quite frankly, unforgivable. I was devastated as I had been more of a mother than a sister to her and it is one of the few times I found myself on my knees sobbing at my loss.
I made it clear to the rest of the family that I didn't expect them to take sides and I would always behave civilly to her at family events so there would be no discomfort for others. However, it caused great fallout within the family, eventually becoming between her and her children because they were horrified by her behaviour and there were other issues about her rewriting history on a grandiose basis.
Recently we have had to have more of a connection because my mother is slipping into dementia. I have her Power of Attorneys but I feel that my sister should be included in decisions because it is her mother too. My sister's estrangement from her children had left her very alone and I did feel sorry for her too so I started to thaw towards her. She is a very witty, entertaining person at times so it was quite easy to let down my guard.
Recently we were both at my mother's and started sorting through some stuff because there were obviously rodents present. I was hooking stuff out from a corner and passing them to my sister to sort. At one point I handed her a handwritten journal with some exquisite picture drawn which belonged to my great, great grandfather. My sister was looking at it and I was just going to make a remark about it's sentimental value but when she saw me looking, she put it down. As I turned away, I saw her grab it up and put it in her bag. I immediately asked her what she was doing and she said she was going to take it home to photocopy. I waited until she went out of the room and then asked my Mum what she wanted to do about it but my Mum was having a confused moment. When my sister came back I just said she must make sure she return it.
Now I can't stop thinking about it. It makes me nervous that she is going into my Mum's house when I'm not there and I wonder what else she is sneaking out. I don't know what to do. Do I tackle her? She tends to explode and I don't want to cause a new family rift but I am astonished that she would do this. Why on earth if she just wanted to photocopy it, didn't she ask? My Mum wouldn't have minded at all.
Can I have some advice please, wise Grandparents?
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