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Loyal to my son.

(35 Posts)
Riverwalk Sat 19-Dec-20 10:16:01

There are freight companies that deal with this sort of thing.

Some years ago a friend had her daughters belongings brought from France by a company - probably a car boot full in volume. I don't know the cost but the friend isn't wealthy so I assume it was reasonable, taking into account the value of the goods.

But that might not be economical if your son's stuff is just sleeping bags, old clothes, saucepans etc.

MissAdventure Sat 19-Dec-20 10:16:01

You can be loyal to your son without involving yourself too much.

Once the relationship was over, what his ex does is her own business; not your sons, and certainly not yours.

I know it's hard when he is the injured party, but try not to cause bad feeling. Let him sort it out.

Amandajs66 Sat 19-Dec-20 10:10:05

silverlining48

You can still be loyal to your son and stay on good terms with the family.
Why would they keep his things?
Has your son been in touch about the return of his belongings.
Always sad when these this happens especially when you have got to know and like people.

My son is still in Australia and the plan is to collect his belongings when he is back in Europe, hopefully next year.
They tried to stay in touch but things got heated when she moved in with someone else in Australia within a month of leaving my son.

Amandajs66 Sat 19-Dec-20 10:05:57

Riverwalk

As you're on such good terms with the ex girlfriend and her family why don't you try and get his belongings back, then you could let your friendship with them fade away.

It serves no purpose for you to continue to be in contact in my opinion.

All his belongings are in Germany, I’m in the uk. I have thought about it but obviously we can’t enter Germany at the moment. Plus I would have to drive over there, ( no much stuff to fit in a suitcase ) and as it’s not just around the corner it’s not that simple. xx

silverlining48 Sat 19-Dec-20 09:53:30

You can still be loyal to your son and stay on good terms with the family.
Why would they keep his things?
Has your son been in touch about the return of his belongings.
Always sad when these this happens especially when you have got to know and like people.

Hetty58 Sat 19-Dec-20 09:52:55

Amandajs66, why cut ties? I'm still friends with my son's ex (he finished the relationship) and her family. When a relationship ends, there really is no need to pick sides!

jaylucy Sat 19-Dec-20 09:49:40

Yes I'd definitely keep in touch with the German family. Is there any way that they can send the items to you ?
Strangely enough, you may well find that should your son get his belongings back, he won't want them anyway ! He's just going through the motions of grieving for a relationship that he had high hopes for and his planned future so if he does start querying why you have kept in touch you can just say it was to make it easier to get his things back - but still be prepared for a possible backlash !

Riverwalk Sat 19-Dec-20 09:47:45

As you're on such good terms with the ex girlfriend and her family why don't you try and get his belongings back, then you could let your friendship with them fade away.

It serves no purpose for you to continue to be in contact in my opinion.

Smileless2012 Sat 19-Dec-20 09:43:22

I would suggest you maintain the contact you have Amanda until your son has had his belongings returned and then "cut all ties".

Amandajs66 Sat 19-Dec-20 09:37:29

My 28 year old son is travelling around Australia and has been travelling for nearly 5 years now. A couple of years ago he met a lovely German girl.
They started making plans for their future together and I even spent some time with them both in Cambodia.
When they came back for a couple of months last year we took them on holiday with us and I spent time in Germany with them and the girlfriends family.
However, they went back to Australia in January to spend their last year there before they visas run out, plan was to work and work and save as much as possible before they settled back in England.
But she had other ideas and finished the relationship pretty much as soon as they had landed in Australia.
My son was/is heartbroken but 11 months later he is starting to get angry, most of his belongings are in Germany at her Mums house and it looks like he won’t get any of them back.
I have kept in touch with the ex girlfriend, I really did like her and was very fond of her family.
BUT is it time to cut all ties with the German family now, I need to support my son and think of his feelings, don’t I?