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Brother criticised my son

(64 Posts)
PollyDolly Sun 10-Jan-21 10:25:47

Don't be offended! We can't all actually like our relatives and whilst you might think your nephew is ok, your brother might have a different opinion of your son. Let it go, there's worse things in life!
Perhaps your brother did speak out of turn but don't dwell on it or even share your sons business with your brother, which you didn't ought to be doing anyway.

Dee1012 Sun 10-Jan-21 10:21:34

I'm often amazed that so many people seem to believe that having a family relationship means that they can make comment's about other's!
Especially when they are statements they wouldn't make to colleagues/friends.
We are in unprecedented times and many people are struggling in some way, feeling frustrated but is that any reason to be unkind?
Is this out of character for your brother? If not perhaps it's possible to suggest that going forward, you'd rather not talk about certain things/people.

Florida12 Sun 10-Jan-21 10:08:43

Sleep on it for a week or two, see if he contacts you. I have to agree that we are all feeling a bit edgy lately. As you have witnessed first hand, words cannot be taken back once spoken. Please do not think I am taking sides here but once the emotion of hurt has been taken out of the situation, you will be best placed to address the matter, and tell him how he made you feel.
I have sent many a text, and wish I hadn’t. Now more than ever we need our families, even if it’s just FaceTime or phone calls. I do hope that your son can find work very soon.

NannyDaft Sun 10-Jan-21 10:03:19

I can understand how you feel and I would let your Brother contact you and when he does do not mention your son or his situation. This comment was cruel and unnecessary and hopefully he realises what he said was wrong! This is a very strange time for us all but you don’t need this awful virus to end your relationship !

Juicylucy Sun 10-Jan-21 09:58:57

I agree with janeainsworth I feel in times like this with all that’s going on the last thing you need is a rift in the family. I wouldn’t take a step back but next time let him know how he made you feel and leave it at that, it maybe wasn’t meant as it came across. Don’t cause a rift over a comment. Unless of course there’s more to this story we don’t know about.

Missingmoominmama Sun 10-Jan-21 09:58:15

It was an ill thought out comment. A lot of good people have been let go after furlough because businesses are suffering and can’t afford the staff. I’m not surprised you were offended; you’ll also be worrying about your son.

I really feel that, at the moment, people should stop judging others- these are strange times!

David0205 Sun 10-Jan-21 09:09:59

I would suggest you just ignore the comment, in the current situation everyone is under stress and say things they should not

sodapop Sun 10-Jan-21 09:08:40

I agree Janeainsworth
I hope your son finds work soon Florencerosie

janeainsworth Sun 10-Jan-21 08:41:48

Without knowing what your brother actually said about your son, it’s rather hard to comment OP.
While you perceived it as hurtful, that may not have been his intention at all.
What we do know is how you feel.

So tell your brother how he made you feel, and give him a chance to apologise.

Otherwise you risk a permanent rift in your relationship.

paddyanne Sun 10-Jan-21 00:28:27

I thought we all learned not to ever criticise any one elses children by the time we were 20.Most mums are like tigers when it comes to their offspring,maybe just tell him when his children are perfect in all ways he can criticise yours..but not for something he has no control over like losing his job during a pandemic!

Smileless2012 Sat 09-Jan-21 23:09:54

Yes, many years ago with my mum. I don't know if you 'put your brother right'; I hope so.

I agree with Suzie and wouldn't talk about your son to him for the time being at least.

I too hope your son finds work soon. There are sadly a lot of people who having been furloughed end up being made redundant and it's a pity in the current climate that your brother wasn't more sympathetic.

I'm not excusing him but wonder if he has his own worries work wise or financially because of the pandemic.

lemsip Sat 09-Jan-21 23:03:39

That's mean of your brother! I often speak to my brother on the phone but would never discuss my two sons and there familys with him!.... If you phone him again keep the subject light and don't talk about your sons business!

SuzieHi Sat 09-Jan-21 22:33:20

Your brother wasn’t being kind to you by saying anything negative about your son. I wouldn’t phone him for a while. If he phones you don’t mention your son or engage in conversation about him.
If he persists say you don’t wish to discuss your sons business at present as things are difficult.
At least there’s no visiting allowed at the moment so you won’t have to get together.
Hope your son finds a job quickly and his uncle backs off.

Florencerosie Sat 09-Jan-21 21:58:10

Hi Ladies

I’m feeling very offended and not at all happy with my brother. He rang and we had a chat - then when I said our son had been made redundant after being on furlough he started criticising him as though it was his fault. My son is very hard working and is very skilled in his field and is doing everything to get another job.
I really feel as though I want to take a step back from contact with my brother. My OH feels the same. I would never criticise my nephew in this way.
I don’t want to lose contact with my brother but feel I only want occasional phone chats now and not visit (not that we can anyway at the moment.)
Anyone else experienced similar situation?